f l e s h s y m p h o n y

a lot of transfems because of general societal transmisogyny get a pernicious brainworm that their sexuality is inherently predatory and abusive, and this can be made significantly worse after a scene where they're acting as the domme, especially after the emotional crash when it all finishes

so once you're in a mental state to do so (i personally know whenever i sub i take a good 5-10 minutes to be coherent enough to speak again), please please please reassure your domme that you wanted what she did to you and you enjoyed it all, and that your plays at resistance or stopping her were part of the moment and you would have safeworded if it did go wrong. seriously, it helps a lot to be able to hear that directly from the horse's mouth

and even if you do need to call a safeword, once you're emotionally recovered from whatever triggered you enough to need that, your domme is likely panicking that she hurt you permanently and you're going to abandon her and it is always worth reassuring that no, you still love her, accidents happen, things aren't always perfect.

whatever we do, we can't win. we can't be seen as actually nonbinary. people binarize us and often mock us or get aggressive or dismiss and ignore our nonbinaryhood or something else.

if we don't medically transition, we are "just cis trenders."

if we do medically transition, we are "just [binary trans] eggs."

we are "technically transmasc or transfem anyways" if we don't use these terms.

we are lumped together with binary trans men and trans women if we do use these terms. our nonbinaryhood is ignored or seen as some kind of "gender-lite."

we are aggressively pressured to disclose if we're AFAB or AMAB, TMA or TME, transmasc or transfem, "boy nonbinary" or "girl nonbinary." and if we refuse to answer, people get double mad at us and pick something for us anyways.

if we show the slightest hint of something that could be interpreted as binary gendered, we are immediately binarised.

if we put a lot of effort into looking the most ambiguous or androgynous or neutral, people still try to find something. and they become aggressive. people often EXPLODE [PT: explode] when they can't gender someone by glance.

our ways of expression are constantly mocked and ignored (like neopronouns, nonbinary-centering labels for gender and orientation, basically all things that are associated with nonbinary people).

but if we choose more typical ways of expression (for example, use "he/him" or "she/her" pronouns), people use it to ignore and dismiss our nonbinaryhood.