good morning theydies

being OCpilled is so fucking mortifying honestly. like oh... yeah..... heres my guy. i invented him. i can't think about anything else except for him this week. but he isn't cool or anything. he actually sucks. im just ill.

but for this two-faced bitch there are twice as many stars as usual

wait wdym by “bush” ppl mean like a week’s worth of growth after shaving n not a rainforest wdym that’s not bush that’s like a lawn strip

The US senate is such a gaggle of old fucks that the old fuck everyone was sure dropped dead last week wasn't even the old fuck that dropped dead last week

[suddenly disillusioned] my illusions..

my high horse is actually awesome and fast like the wind

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

there should be an emoji of a guy trying to strangle themself