Meet Your Overwatch Quick Play Team
Genji: either there's an enemy Bastion they're trying to counter, or this person thinks they're pro and will definitely waste your time; cried for 5 hours when Genji got nerfed
McCree: really good at hitting crack shots and somehow manages to get at least three people with Deadeye every time; alternatively, they could be almost unspeakably bad at landing shots
Pharah: JUSTICE RAAAAI--AUGH! every goddamn time; on the other hand, if you politely tell them to flank before ulting, they'll probably listen and improve, because they're usually decent people
Reaper: they don't know the meaning of "teamwork" and honestly believe their teleport is silent; they'll queue in last and choose Reaper when there's still no healer
Soldier 76: takes the game way too seriously but never bothers to focus the enemy Pharah; almost always uses their Biotic Field selfishly with few exceptions
Tracer: is actually pretty good about staying alive on their own and harassing the enemy team; on the other hand, they might be terrible and constantly spam "Need healing!" from across the entire map and can never stick their ult to anyone
Bastion: can't seem to figure out that Genji's Deflect will absolutely destroy them if they keep shooting; alternatively, they might save the game, but they'll definitely steal the POTG in the process
Hanzo: has a foot fetish and can't seem to stop aiming for the enemy's feet, but loves it because the hitboxes are ridiculously big; definitely hates your team and will refuse to switch heroes even if they're unbelievably bad
Junkrat: previously played Demoman exclusively in TF2, and is here to fuck shit up for the enemy team; you GUESS they're pretty good, but their ult always steals the POTG
Mei: they're either spot-on with their Ice Wall, protecting your team from nearly every enemy ult, or they can't aim for shit and always end up blocking your team in terrible spots
Torbjörn: *announcer voice* Play of the Game *footage of Torbjörn's corpse next to his turret, which manages a quadruple kill before someone blows it up*; Defense Torbjörns hate themselves, and Attack Torbjörns hate their entire team
Widowmaker: there's a teeny tiny chance that they're actually a pro and can land all sorts of insane shots; more likely, however, they're unspeakably bad and turn your game into a 5v6
D.va: thinks that D.va is a front-line tank and an acceptable stand-in for Reinhardt; doesn't understand the meaning of "disruption tank", but tries their best anyways
Reinhardt: a team player, but also kind of an egotistical asshole when they manage to get POTG; they'll protect you, sure, but they won't hesitate to blame the healer for a lousy game
Roadhog: is either an excellent enemy harasser who always lands their hook, or is the only tank on your team when attacking on Volskaya; often forgets about their self-heal
Winston: thinks Harambe memes are the best, and is generally a fairly good addition to your team to counter Tracer, Symmetra, or those damn enemy snipers that your Hanzo/Widowmaker can't ever seem to take care of
Zarya: is always there for you, shielding you at just the right moment, and doesn't get enough love; alternatively, they don't know how to aim with their secondary fire
Lúcio: probably a salty Mercy main who just needs a break; they'll be there for your team, and if everyone else dies during Overtime, count on them doing a panicked yet determined Payload Dance™
Mercy: is completely numb to the suffering of their teammates spamming "Need healing!" from 50 miles away; drinks straight vodka and does their best, but never gets enough appreciation from solo queues despite almost always carrying the team to victory
Ana: loves the idea of being a support sniper, and is pretty damn good at it, always landing their shots and grenades to keep the team alive; the resident team grandma, complete with freshly baked cookies
Symmetra: likes making "death chambers" with their turrets and miraculously manages to keep their teleporter up for a decent amount of time; alternatively, they may be the worst teammate and never seem to have their teleporter
Zenyatta: doesn't seem to understand that Zenyatta is always best when paired with another healer; singlehandedly wrecks the enemy team with their Discord orb, but can't manage to keep the team alive on their own
















