The only straight I am is a straight up bitch.

Puck: This goes without saying, but please take care of my girl. She's gonna want to get shitfaced a lot. I left some money under the sugar dish. Use it to make her feel better.

Puck: And make sure you're taking lots of pictures of Estevez.

Puck: And just, thanks.

Santana: I'm giving her a week of drunk palooza before the Snixx comes out and I'm kicking her out of the house for a breath of fresh air.

Santana: Because we don't need skank!Quinn 2.0

Tina: So you are the weepy drunk when you drink wine? Well not gonna let that happen. This weekend is about chilling out and taking it easy.

Tina:Now that sounds like a great idea to embrace the single life.

Tina: I am pretty sure that is every show now days.

Tina: Hey your life is not that bleak. Though if you wanna eating feels is what I am good at. Plenty of ice cream at mine along with trash tv.

Tina:Oh totally.

Tina:Okay it seems like we are bitter even about being bitter.

Tina:Wow really sounds like you would be a catch right there.

Santana: It's okay, I'm just going to eat my feelings out and blame it for using all my energy on, you know, producing food for my son.

Tina:Naaa call it being rational and logical about the world.

Tina: Wow, how do you cope with all the body changes, but at least it would be a reason people would bit on you: well all the boob girls at least.

Santana: Or being bitter as heck.

Tina:Haha true love? Kinda a little redundant don't you think. I think it is just attraction and tolerance that kinda seems shine most then 'true love'.

Tina:Ouch does it really hurt that much when you don't? Okay that does sound a little bit like a bit of a turn off.

Santana: Probably, but doesn't that make us just bitter bitches?

Tina: Well everyone has someone. Prince Charming? Have you met me? Apparently I am a magnet for gay guys still! I am a single pringle.

Tina:Well if you trust me enough I wouldn't mind looking after the little guy if you ever need to get lucky with someone.

Santana: I don't know, I figured only meeting someone special would cause for a 20 something year old to still believe in this whole true love bullcrap.

Tina:Hey you never know, New York, openmindeness and crap here. You might find some people .

Tina:Okay that is true since I bet you are very protective of who looks of him.

Santana: People suck everywhere, open minded or not. And you're saying all this like you've been hiding some prince charming from us.

Tina: Guess it is nice that one things is still the same.

Tina:Well if it helps people can consider you a MILF? There are loads of single mom's that date sure you would find someone if you wanna.

Santana: Maybe... if you put it that way.

Santana: You know who's attracted to MILFS? Guys like Puck, not power lesbians.

Tina:Still sounds like things haven't changed much between you two.

Tina:Thank god you have me a shock there.

Santana: Because they haven't. We're still a pair of fierce bitches.

Tina: Seems like you two are up close and personal the amount of times she walks around.

Tina:Someone seems disappointed.

Santana: As close as it takes from my palm to connect with her cheek, we're slapmates.