things i like

What’s your group chat called

When I start to lose my faith in humanity, this beautiful post crosses my feed. 😢😊😍

HUMANS!!!!! ARE NOT SELFISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST IMAGINE WHAT COULD HAPPEN ON THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS IF THIS WERE THE RULESET AND NOT “get more money than Them”

It is the ruleset.  The problem is that the people who want you thinking otherwise are very good at doing so.

You aren’t born gay. You chose to watch Scooby-Doo! and the Witch’s Ghost featuring the Hex Girls and now you’re like this.

It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus does– you Dumb Ass Bastard. You ILLITERATE. It’s called Levicorpus, it lifts someone’s body, it LEVIES your goddamn CORPUS-

Hermione ghost wrote this

Gonna tell y’all what I can hear now that I got my hearing aids

Birds! They chirp and it’s so beautiful.

Far away cow moos

My best friends singing voice

The filter for my fish tank! Bubble bubble bubble

I sit in the bass section in band. Today I could clearly hear the flutes up at the front! They’re not great, but I can finally hear them!

Me playing guitar for the first time. Took the hearing aids out. Not a very good sound… yet

Tree leaves in the wind. I got a little spooked at first because it’s 1 am and I’m alone in the park but it’s a real good sound.

Colored pencils make a real nice scratch noise when I’m drawing. I didn’t know they did that

I forgot to add this is the beginning! But that little sniffing noise that dogs make when they’re smelling the air or the ground? Wonderful!

my skater bro roommate talks to my other roommates cat exactly like she’s a person and i love it. she was meowing earlier and he was like “dude do you wanna watch a movie with us? you can come chill with us if you want. we’d love to spend some time with you” blessed

hold up Danny DeVito directed the most influential film of my childhood?

Not only directed it but starred in it, took care of Mara Wilson (Matilda) while her mother was in hospital with cancer and even managed to get an advanced copy of the movie for her to watch before she succumbed to her illness. The man is a treasure.

#she probably picked it up from seeing humans do it and thats adorable, #like she probably doesnt get why bc they dont really function to protect her from being burned, #so mayb she thinks theyre like, #special presentation gloves

Steven probably told her to do it.  Like she just get’s the pan out the oven like nbd and Steven’s like “*GASP!* GARNET WAIT! You have to wear these oven mits. Safety first!”   Pearl: Steven, Garnet is capable of holding items of EXTREME temperatures that no mere cloth could possible protect humans fro- Garnet: *wearing the oven mits* Safety first.

bringing back my only popular post in honor of change your mind

I love these comics!!! I am inspired!

sometimes u gotta just say weird shit and not worry about what u mean

tfw you just need your players to get to the damn quest already

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office