You have died and that is proper shit. You always liked to have the last word and now technically you have because no one can say anything back to you. You always did have a way of making your voice and feelings known. I wish I had the confidence and sheer care free approach to socialising as you did.
There are so many things already that I would love to share with you. I didn't tell you about my new job and the fact I am leaving the NHS but it might be for the best as you always believed that I would one day run it... So perhaps it is better you have gone not knowing the truth.
I wish you could have seen Luna grow up because I know it would have brought you so much joy, and Luna's life is so much worse for having you in it for such a short amount of time but also so much better for having met uou. In a family of dog lovers, your love for dogs was unrivalled and probably always will be and I am feel sad for Luna that she will miss out on that love for her.
I am sad that I did not get to see you in the last few months of your life but I am happy that I got to see you at Christmas. No matter how much time you get it is never enough and I wish I had longer with you. I don't want to live with regrets so although I wish some things could've happened and weren't meant to be I will not live in regret. Instead I am focussing on all those moments we have had together. The cups of teas, afternoon teas, biscuits and chocolate (even though you were diabetic).
In some ways you were a ridiculous person. A larger than life character built to survive an array of times. You were the only person I know who still had ceiling Christmas decorations, I thought that was so tacky but I am glad now that I get to remember you in that room so full of furniture, decorations, cards, flowers and so full of love; both your love and the outpouring of love for you.
I am so grateful to have known you and that you were my Nana, and I had the honour of being your granddaughter. I loved to make you laugh to the point you called me a cheeky cow. When I think of you I will always remember you chuckling away to yourself in the corner of your room with Mick sat opposite shaking his head or rolling his eyes. You were always so willing and generous to let people laugh at you and also along with you.
In the end it can't have been easy for you and I just hope beyond all hopes that you are resting easy now and are at peace.
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