𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐚.

it was a good birthday! i don't think the life lessons are mandatory. and if they are, nobody told me and i squeaked by without them. thank god. that's what i'm saying! i don't think i have that many lessons to impart. i feel like i need life lessons. somebody give me some wisdom. okay, excellent start - some people haven't even gotten as far as to take the nose-picking advice. absolutely, drill it into her from the beginning! congratulations, by the way.

thank you so much! and that's exactly the kind of thing you tell someone on their fifty-ninth birthday, so remember to drill it into everybody to do you that courtesy someday. solid wisdom is what i do. you would hope, but this is hollywood we're talking about. i'm happy to dish out life advice on particular topics where i feel like i can offer something of substance, but unsolicited advice is just a no-no for me. i ended up having some friends over and we made a night of it, and everybody got home intact, so the evening was a success.

thank you! i kept it pretty lowkey - i invited some friends over and we had a great night, but we kept it pretty casual. right? it feels like life advice that works for every walk of life, and that was the goal. it is objectively funnier if you let the kids do it. my son has recently discovered farting in public and it takes every ounce of my energy to act like it's not as hilarious as it is.

Every day, I go and I sit in a booth like a veal. I work every holiday. I go home to a cat. And now, a rich and handsome man has asked me to marry him, and I have said yes. Okay, okay, that makes me a raving, total lunatic.

it was indeed a good day! i threw one hell of a party that i'm still recovering from. that's where the fifty-nine part comes in. thank you for appreciating the nose-picking tidbit - i had a feeling it was going to resonate with the masses. and it has. listen, there is nothing overtly profound going on in my head at any given moment, but the piece of actual advice i've been giving to people asking for it is to stop wasting time worrying. just because that was a problem i had a lot when i was younger. i wasted so much of my life worried about everything. i am in la! i'm ready for a belated birthday drink any time of year. just say the word.

A Time to Kill (1996) dir. Joel Schumacher

thank you! it was a solid birthday. no complaints here. i don't think people need fifty-nine life lessons from me. i don't even think i've learned fifty-nine life lessons. you would think the general public would have an understanding of the nose-picking rule, but then you get on the streets of new york and you realize people will surprise you. you won't listen. and that's not a dig at your character, it's just that i'm a mom and i know how this works. but i'll say that i do wish my younger self would have done less worrying and more living, so if that's something that happens to apply to you, then do with it as you will. or brush it off, because that's what we do when we're young.

thank you, thank you. i still feel like i need fifty-nine life lessons. someone needs to be dishing them out to me. but i felt like the nose-picking thing was a solid piece of advice that everybody could go on about their day with. not too specific, you know? alright, if i had to choose another one ... hug people with two arms.

14-year-old Sandra Bullock on holiday with her family in 1978.

Sandra Bullock as Grace Hart in Miss Congeniality (2000)

@gonehollywoodstarters

do you have a favorite out of all the festivals you've done? i'm not saying you have to say germany, but you are speaking to a full-fledged german, so keep that in mind. i don't have a single musical bone in my body, but when i was doing the blind side with tim mcgraw, he was doing a benefit concert for flood recovery with faith in nashville, and i somehow ended up on stage painfully trying to pluck my way through the opening riff of smoke on the water for laughs.

Sandra Bullock photographed by Steven Meisel for American Vogue, June 1998.

nothing that's going to top billy joel in hyde park, that's what. i did get felt up by betty white on camera. it doesn't get much bigger than that. i mean, really - what's an oscar in comparison to betty?

SALLY & GILLIAN OWENS ↴ Practical Magic (1998) dir. Griffin Dunne

in your defense, i think the serial killer stuff has become universal. somehow, as a society, we've all ended up in a place where we've learned to relax to the most horrific imagery imaginable. it's just fascinating. mine is always full of stuff everybody else has watched already. i'm so bad at keeping up with it. you'd better believe i'll park my ass right by that pool for a creepy passage! wait, did wicked wrap already or are you about to fly back to london looking like glinda spent too long in the tanning booth?