As a reader I was always a decent reader, I really didn’t have to work on my reading skills.
Student who titled his essay “Final Exam,” is searching for a place for a lonely comma.
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@snarkyreplies
As a reader I was always a decent reader, I really didn’t have to work on my reading skills.
Student who titled his essay “Final Exam,” is searching for a place for a lonely comma.

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When the kids say that I look tired all the time
Mine say, "You always look angry these days," and I reply, "Guess how that happened?"
Images can give visuals of a subject
Betty Deepshit
Grammar-free
For my final essay, I intend to write a grammar-free paper.
They often succeed.
We often get sick from time to time.
Spokesperson for the Obvious

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As I processed it through my mind I wondered if there was a hint of what we were about to learn and immediately turned to the white board in front of the room and read the words that were in black and capital size letters, 'FINGERPRINT ANALIZATION.'
Student who clearly went to the wrong school.
[her] battle was not only with cancer, but first began with her primate care physician
Redundant Monkeyhater
We all know that motivation was what made everyone act like they did in the novel.
student looking for a degree in motivation speaking with a minor in talking out of his ass
In the novel, Hammett decides to make it a mystery novel that revolves around crime and corruption.
student with an incredible grasp of the obvious
This theme of deception in this story not only shows how the use of deception can get you what you want, but it also shows how to get what you probably don’t want.
student I am fairly sure is studying to be a plate spinner for a circus

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President or Republican
In the future, when the kids grow up, they might possibly take in a career including government, such as President or Republican.
If only...they would stop breeding.
What I wanted to respond, but didn’t #1
What the student wrote: Throughout the course of time women have evolved to better themselves instead of pleasing others
What I wanted to respond: Heavens, no! Not throughout the course of time again. Please. You are a sweet kid, and I do believe you want to be a better writer. But how can you evolve (see what I did there?) if you open your essay with one of these these horrible, horrible cliches? And “women have evolved”? Look, we are both guys and someone enlightened, but dude, I am just not sure we, as males, should ever use such a phrase to describe a group we cannot possibly, no matter how we try, identify with. So, don’t even go there. I can’t even begin to tell you about “pleasing others,” except to say, “Uh, Mister? We are the others.
What I responded: Avoid cliches.
They exhaust an endless effort trying to satisfy their need without ever reaching satisfaction.
student who ranked “Susceptible to circular reasoning” as the number one turn on when filing out an online dating profile.
“Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a lost tradition.” - Jacques Barzun
— ƑσƖks σғ нιsтσяү (@FolksOfHistory) June 30, 2016
The artifact is so important that even death will not interrupt their search.
student who later in his essay wrote, “Spade then, to Cairo’s surprise, punches Cairo and is knocked unconscious”

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You have GOT to be kidding! You actually only wrote one post. You wrote "I agree" as replies to three other students, and didn't even bother to put a period at the end of that word. REAL posts are supposed to be a complete, developed paragraph in length.
Me to a student writing on the discussion board, who clearly did not think I was going to actually read the posts.
Snarky reply #51
I am concerned that our philosophical differences may impede your educational efforts. I noticed that you do not care to capitalize where I and others who teach English Composition think you should. I have also noticed that you do not deem commas and periods necessary, whereas teachers like myself would like clear signposts for where we can pause in reading to catch our breath after laughing at your ludicrous prose.