deactivated

I don't like talking about my personal life. ever. Period. I've only ever told a hand full of people about how my personal/home life has been like or how my mental health has been effecting me both emotionally and physically. being constantly anxious/paranoid about things happening and what people think or assume about me all the time has really eaten away at me and overall hasn't done me any favors.

I don't want to do something stupid so I'm trying to fix my mental health and I think it starts with deleting the one thing that has halted any progress of healing. I want to be happy again, and I want to be happy doing the things I used to love again, things that where a coping method only to be abandoned to live in the shadows of those who I saw as better than me or people I wanted to be like which in actuality was immature, stupid and something I will continue to look back on in embarrassment. (honestly adlibing a thing I mentioned on my blog before I deleted).

So I want to go back to making art for myself and having fun with it like I used to.

I've also just started my first retail job. I do not want to lose this opportunity since I've worked so hard for this and wanted this for so long a few years of volunteer work.

I think it's best to exit stage left, I don't want people getting stressed out because of my existence on here. I need to put myself and my health first, doing something about it rather than opposed to leaving it and making it grow worse to the point that it could be incredibly difficult to fix.

Im not going to leave cookie crumbs for people to find me just to repeat the cycle over again, I genuinely just want to leave and focus on the real world.

If you would need to contact me I'll leave the inbox and DMS here open just in case, but as far as I'm concerned this place is a graveyard.

this is definitely for the best and I hope you can understand.