why are you here

was someone going to tell me there are snails that make pearls or was i just going to have to find out for myself

“captain! we’re reaching dangerous levels of boredom!” “Doggone it! Deploy the hunger mechanism, full throttle!” “But Captain, we’ve done that maneuver three times in the last hour-” “Did we try the hydrate button?” “That hasn’t worked for years-” “PRESS THAT BUTTON SKIPPER” “YES SIR” “god save us all” *drinks water* “huh. wow. I’m still bored. I’m gonna go do something stupid and possibly harming because of how bored I am.” “we failed captain.” “yes. but perhaps we will win another day”

I don’t think i can express how much i love skittles dips, and i dont just mean how they taste. I mean, they’re surprisingly good, though you kinda lose the skittle flavor in the yogurt, but the true experience of dips is the ads. If you’ve never seen a skittles dips ad, you’re missing a crucial part of psychological horror. From dystopian futures where food gains sentience and are forced into labor to feed humans, or just a simple ad combining disturbing imagery, sound effects, music, and voice overs into a 10 second horror trip. And yet i sometimes wonder if they even exist, as few stores still sell them, giving them an almost holy aura when you finally track down a pack. Was i merely dreaming the time i had them, or was it an alternate timeline? Or maybe the dream was itself an ad for skittles dips-maybe we are all just an ad for Skittles dips- skittles, in a creamy, yogurty coating 

sits down next to you, casually yawns and puts arm around your shoulder, you look in my hand and theres a business card, with only one word: carrots, you look up to ask me about it but I'm gone