Also dirtyhands is a very suggestive nickname

I bet it feels real good to be a sailing ship when they tighten the rigging

Update: this tastes like if a baha blast could kill you and annihilates any ongoing anxiety attacks

Update update: comparing this to a long island is like comparing a pickup truck to a tank

One time I came home from uni very upset and my younger siblings asked what's wrong. I said that mutated flies in our lab escaped because someone broke their jar. I didn't even realise how scary it sounded to them until I saw their faces lmao. I was upset because we were short on said flies (they don't reproduce very well) and my siblings thought that some crazy radioactive fly monsters escaped and we are all fucked now. Love being a mad scientist in their eyes lowkey

There was a rat in the monastery but he was banging out tunes on the harpsichord so I let him be

WHERE

LEAVE HIM ALONE

:(

Guinea big.

girl unhinge ur jaw

UNCLENCH. I MEANT UNCLENCH

live by the sea. die by the sea. (I am drowning)

My little nephew is dying; I feel like he's taking his last breaths. I will never forgive anyone who ignores this.

Please, we urgently need €850 for emergency surgery for my nephew. His health has deteriorated significantly; he is now in a coma and unconscious, suffering greatly. Time is running out, and every moment is crucial for him.

Guys, someone donated 10 euros, but we still need 840 euros for my nephew's urgent surgery. Please don't let me lose hope. I'm counting on you. Save us! Save my nephew before he dies! Please donate! Donate! Donate! Don't ignore me! I'm begging you! Donate, donate! 💔😭

"this quote was attributed to me. perhaps as a punishment." -dostoevsky

I can’t make pasta any more without mumbling to myself, “wet the drys… then dry the wets…”

HELLO ! have you thought about Van Gogh’s First Steps today ?