cyrus goodman deserves the world

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TJ:

this is the beginning of a relationship. sure, it’s something they’ve danced around for a long while, especially in this second half of the third season, but it’s still completely new to them. neither have been in a relationship with another boy before, and while cyrus has had time to deal with his sexual orientation, talking it out with his friends in small instances along the way, we don’t know that about tj.

at the end of the day, they’re two lgbt boys in middle school. it’s probably hard for them to articulate what they feel, because it’s probably the first time they’ve felt it. i’m sure they’ve talked plenty afterwards, i’m sure they’ll talk endlessly about it, we just didn’t get to see them doing it. and it’s sad that we never will, sure, but we’ve witnessed an unlikely friendship blossom into the wonderful bond these two have, and we did witness it become an actual romantic relationship, and that’s personally all i could ask for, especially from a disney show.

cyrus is known to talk a lot, and we love him for it. but he’s also known to be quiet when he needs to, when the moments are too monumental for him to speak. this moment, to him, to them, was a monumental one. it was one of those moments where cyrus didn’t need words to express his emotions, where he felt words probably weren’t enough.

tj kind of just isn’t a pro with words (unless it’s a rap apology song). he cares /so/ much, you can see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice when he speaks to cyrus, sense it in the way he acts around him. he doesn’t let anyone make fun of cyrus, /never/ mistreats him, teaches him things while 100% believing he can do anything he sets his mind to, always wants to spend time with him and gets sad, tense and upset when they can’t meet up. he trusts him unconditionally, wants to better himself for him, and wants the other to rely on him, too. but he’s just not big on words. he demonstrates everything with his actions, and constantly seems to need to touch cyrus, and the way he hesitates before finally going in and intertwining their fingers says it all. he was so scared cyrus didn’t like him the same way, he probably thought about it day and night, and when he finally got confirmation that he wasn’t the only one with a crush… i can only imagine the sheer relief, the rush of happiness he must’ve felt, especially if he hasn’t had the chance to talk about his sexuality yet.

them holding hands somehow has an even stronger impact than a kiss would’ve had, in my opinion. they could look into each other’s eyes while their fingers linked, and their eyes said everything that needed to be said, so they didn’t have to speak to convey the intesity of their feelings. not now, at least. it’s a slow start to something they both hope will last as long as possible. it shows how real their feelings are, how intense, how happy they are just knowing they’re on the same page on this.

words will come. kisses will come. so much more is in store for them. i get that it’s disappointing we’ll see none of it unfold, but this is the best we could get in our short time with them.

“Is there anything else you want to know?” TJ asked, holding his breath at the end of the sentence. His fingers twitched as he inched toward Cyrus’ outstretched hand, still unsure of if he had read the situation correctly. Cyrus caught the movement, his eyes dropping down to TJ’s fingers. He faltered slightly, watching Cyrus’ eye’s flicker back up.

“Is there anything else you wanna tell me?” Cyrus replied, smiling slightly.

TJ swallowed, hard, “Yeah,” there was. There was a lot he wanted to tell him. He rubbed his palm against his pants. “Is there anything you want to tell me?” He repeated back.

Cyrus smiled, to TJ’s slight relief. “Yes,” he breathed, eyes locked with TJs. And he knew. They were on the same page, he was there with him. TJ looked down and pushed his hand forward, his fingers wrapping around Cyrus’ hand almost immediately. Their fingers interlocked like two puzzle pieces sliding back together, as if they had only been apart for a moment. Cyrus’ hand was warm and familiar, he knew he should have done this months ago. The moment of truth, he looked back up at the boy, who was smiling at him. He let himself exhale, and Cyrus did too.

And what now? They were sitting on a bench, in the very public backyard of Andi’s grandmother’s house, with a party of kids running around them. Thankfully, most people had wandered back inside due to the temperature, or been picked up due to the time, but TJ was still aware.

“It’s okay,” Cyrus squeezed his hand, as if reading his mind. TJ smiled back, squeezing and then letting go, their fingers brushing together. TJ pulled himself forward a little, closing most of the space between them and putting his arm up on the top of the bench.

TJ smiled down at him. “So what did you want to tell me? He teased. Cyrus smiled, bumping his shoulder with his own. “Hey! I’m serious, I don’t pick up on context clues very well.”

“I gathered that over the last few months,” Cyrus replied. “You’re joking this time though, right?” He grew a little more serious.

TJ shrugged. He moved his fingers to fiddle with the popped collar of Cyrus’ jacket.

“That tickles,” Cyrus protested, but didn’t attempt to stop him.

“Mmm,” TJ replied, zoning on Cyrus’ lips, his finger’s fiddling with the collar. “You held my hand,” TJ stated.

“You held my hand,” Cyrus corrected, before adding, “I accepted the hand hold.”

“You did,” TJ confirmed. “Which means,” he trailed off. Cyrus rose his eyebrows, waiting for a response. “You like me?” He tried to say it with confidence, but his voice faltered slightly. There had been months of build up in his mind over this moment, over any moment he spent with Cyrus, he just never imagined a setting so perfect, or, set up.

“Of course I like you,” Cyrus replied softly, holding up the hand that had been in TJ’s moments before.

TJ dipped his head slightly, flicking Cyrus’ collar. “It’s just hard to believe,” he admitted. “I haven’t told anyone.” Cyrus nodded softly. “Have you?”

“Just Andi and Buffy, but they kinda worked it out on their own. I think I’ve been a little obvious,” he smiled. “Well, and Jonah knows I’m gay,” TJ’s hand faltered on Cyrus’ collar, he couldn’t attempt to conceal his surprise at Cyrus dropping that so casually, when he couldn’t even say the word to himself. Cyrus carried on, “But not about my crush, he’s not the best at deducing,” Cyrus chuckled to himself before noticing TJ’s look. “What?”

“I haven’t told anyone,” he stopped, before clarifying, “anything.”

“That’s okay,” Cyrus gave him a reassuring smile. “I kind of figured: the whole Kira thing.”

“I’m really sorry about that,” TJ blurted.

“It fine,” Cyrus promised. “We’re here now, right?”

TJ nodded. “And what’s here, exactly?” He was fiddling with the collar again.

“Well I like you,” Cyrus started. TJ blinked at him. “And,” he continued. TJ looked at him expectantly. “And you,” he led.

“And I like you,” TJ caught on, catching his eyes and smiling. “But I haven’t,” he didn’t know how to finish the sentence. Cyrus brought out the best in him, he really did, but this part of him was a secret, completely. He didn’t know how to just give that up, he didn’t know if he could. Yet.

Cyrus nodded, understanding as always. “I haven’t told my parent’s yet,” he admitted. “Any of the four!” TJ laughed at that. “We have the whole summer,” Cyrus offered. “And past that if that’s not enough time.” How did TJ get so damn lucky? Cyrus ducked under TJ’s fingers, pulling himself up from the bench. He offered a hand to TJ, who took it on his way up. They interlocked fingers for a moment, squeezing once again before letting go.

“And when that time comes,” TJ led, walking with Cyrus toward the back doors of the house. “When I can tell people, what would we tell them?”

“Whatever you’re comfortable with,” Cyrus replied. TJ grabbed him by the elbow, stopping him and turning to face him.

“Cyrus,” TJ began. He exhaled a shaky breath, rehearsing the word in his mind. “When the time comes,” he closed his eyes for a second, “When the time comes, can I tell people you’re my boyfriend?” It was there, out in the open, he couldn’t take it back. Nor would he ever dream of doing so, seeing Cyrus’ face light up so completely after hearing those words.

“Definitely,” he smiled, his voice almost at a loss. “Yes, that’s definitely, yes, that.” TJ laughed a little: he was damn cute. Cyrus nodded, “When the time comes.”

“When the time comes,” TJ agreed. They held each other’s gaze a moment longer, before resuming the step back inside.

Most people had left the party by then, but there were a few stragglers as always: Buffy and Marty sat on the stairs, Marty was pulling a piece of silly string out of Buffy’s hair, then promptly flicked it back at her face. Jonah was talking to a couple of kids from school at the door, waving them out. Bowie was sitting on the kitchen counter, eating from a bag of chips while he slowly threw stuff into the trash can across the room, and Amber and Andi were sitting on the stage under the keyboard, whispering to themselves. TJ watched Cyrus smile at his friends, before bumping him lightly.

“I should head out,” he suggested.

“Probably,” Cyrus said sadly, turning back to face him. “Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?” TJ questioned. “We make plans in advance now?”

“I need to separate ‘friend’ from ‘boyfriend’ somehow,” Cyrus explained. “Just in my mind,” he clarified, “Not to other people.”

TJ smiled in thanks. “I like movies,” TJ said. “I also like food.”

“Those are two things I like as well,” Cyrus smirked.

TJ looked around himself. He knew the area was dead, he knew it was just the two of them on that side of the house, but he checked. “I’d call it a date then.” And it made Cyrus happy. So happy, it was worth the risk if there had been people around them. “Stop doing that,” TJ whined.

“What?” He sounded innocent, and maybe he really couldn’t tell just how crazy he drove him.

“Making me what to tell everyone,” TJ said, moving slightly closer to him. “I like seeing you happy.”

“I’m happy with this no matter what,” Cyrus promised. “You could run me over with your bike and I’d still be happy.”

“Okay, sick, new date idea,” TJ grinned.

“Amber, your mom’s here!” Jonah’s voice rang through the house. TJ looked to Cyrus, taking him in for the last time that night, fully appreciating his boyfriend.

“Tomorrow, okay?” TJ confirmed.

TJ’s face after Cyrus says he loves that name: