smithery

cat died

The art of L S Lowry reminds me very much of the art of Pieter Bruegel the Elder.

My cat’s fur is so soft, it’s the softest thing I have ever touched, it’s softer than silk velvet. It is soft and dense everywhere but it is softest and most dense on her paws and around her jaw. She’s always cleaning herself and keeping her coat beautiful cause she’s a good girl.

My cat makes a lot of random little sounds when she’s happy, not miaows but like squeaky little sounds or murmurs in her chest, and I love listening to her little sounds. The sounds are really simple happiness sounds and it gives me comfort in my life to hear them. She’s just expressing her contentment. She’s so easy to please and keep happy.

When I'm old I'm going to buy a house with an open fireplace and put my bed right next to the fireplace and tell anyone who comes and hassles me about it that I didn't invite them to my fucking house and they can fuck off and get out. I'll get firewood delivered to my door cause I'll be rich and if anyone delivering wood tries to be friendly to me cause they feel sorry for me being old I'll tell them I don't pay them to be friendly so get lost and eat shit. And I'll have a sweet little set of fireplace tools, the kind with long handles that hang dangling off a rack and it has one with a little shovel, one with a brush, and one with a poker to jab the fire and mutter when I get angry, which will be almost all the time. I will stay in bed and look at the fire and be miserable and bitter about my life, and toss and turn and rage and cry a lot. I'll probably have a hot tub next to the fireplace also.

when life gives you work, do more work, and that will get you more work, so that you can work more, and get more work.

When younger, I had an acquaintance who asked me on a date and I said no. Afterwards he told me that I am the epitome of mediocrity, I guess it was his way of saying I am a basic bitch. It stung for a long time until I worked out that mediocrity is the best life. The golden mean as the classics put it. So I think he unknowingly gave me a compliment.

This heatwave is so hot that ants came to live in my keyboard.

I wish I were back in Venice ♡

Mum told me a number of times that I should always wear my glasses to make an impression, even though I don't need them for walking around and even though I don't like wearing them, because I look more handsome with them, I don't look very handsome without them. Today my friend at work saw me without them on (I always wear them while working) and she said I looked so different without my glasses on, completely unrecognisable, she said I was like Clark Kent. I told her what my Mum said, but she said she thinks the opposite, I’m much more handsome without them on, there’s no comparison.

After the 2nd time I was hospitalised for depression I went through a Renaissance. I went back to school and studied literature. I swam laps for 30 minutes almost every day. That was the happiest I have ever been.

I read online that supermarkets in my city were mobbed today by people wanting to trade plastic mini food replicas that were made by the supermarket chain as a promo item. They all want the bananas one cause it's rare. I wish that were a problem that I had time to think about. Whether or not I'm going to get a mini plastic bananas. Like how can you have time in your life to chase a mini plastic bananas. I could never possibly worry about that. I don't understand it, I feel so confused about it, like as if I'm lost in a foreign city. This world is strange. I guess we all have a hobby or whatever

I’m flying to Brussels tomorrow for a friend’s wedding reception. Packing is involved. My bedroom, bathroom, and study are eerily tidy - ominous, foreboding.