look at my nose!!1!1 @smeevesbooty - Tumblr Blog

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vampireapologist-archive-deacti

*wakes up feeling ugly* oh god I have to be funny today

u up? do u fart what’s your favorite thing in the back of spencer’s

I CANT

fuwaprince

US Helplines:

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected]

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 [email protected]

b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]

Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

Drinkline: 0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]

Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614

India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868

FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:

Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430

Australia: 13-11-14

Austria: 01-713-3374

Barbados: 429-9999

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(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)

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Finland: 040-5032199

France: 01-45-39-4000

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Guatemala: 502-234-1239

Holland: 0900-0767

Honduras: 504-237-3623

Hungary: 06-80-820-111

Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90

Israel: 09-8892333

Italy: 06-705-4444

Japan: 3-5286-9090

Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292

Malaysia: 03-756-8144

(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)

Mexico: 525-510-2550

Netherlands: 0900-0767

New Zealand: 4-473-9739

New Guinea: 675-326-0011

Nicaragua: 505-268-6171

Norway: 47-815-33-300

Philippines: 02-896-9191

Poland: 52-70-000

Portugal: 239-72-10-10

Russia: 8-20-222-82-10

Spain: 91-459-00-50

South Africa: 0861-322-322

South Korea: 2-715-8600

Sweden: 031-711-2400

Switzerland: 143

Taiwan: 0800-788-995

Thailand: 02-249-9977

Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800

Ukraine: 0487-327715

(Source)

plasticblisss

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allegedserialkiller

being self-aware fucking sucks i wish i was a cucumber

dumbsona

is it just me or we all kinda stubid

demigodgooglesearches

book percy: cleverly comes up with ways to get him and his friends out of dangerous situations, survived tartarus, saved the world,

fanon percy: haha bro i guess its just 1000000% luck bro, what the hell even is a sword hahaha brooo

forcesensitive-dragonrider

I feel like the fandom tends to forget that although Percy isn’t very book smart he’s tactically and combatively a genius. It’s also worth noting that he has shown a frankly absurd ability to plan and brainstorm quickly while under pressure.

Some examples:

Percy successfully manipulated Luke into confessing to poisoning Thalia’s tree.

He was able to trick Crusty into getting onto one of his own waterbeds.

He was the first to recognize the weirdness of the lotus casino.

He tricked Nereus into going into the water despite the fact that Nereus should have known he was a son of Poseidon.

He forced Gaeia to choose between him and Phineas the seer.

Percy quickly identified the fears of Cryasor’s crew and used them to completely turn the tables on him.

He outsmarted literally all the gods and created a loophole free oath to protect demigods and the minor gods.

demigodgooglesearches

👏👏👆👆👆🖐👆👆👆👆☝☝☝👆☝👆☝👆☝👆☝☝ 👏👏👏🖒👏🖒🖒👌👏😘💯🖒😘🖒😭👏😭😭😭😘😘✔✔✔✔💯💯🖒✔🖒😘👌😘💯💯💯✔✔💯😘👌👏💯🖒💯🖒👌👏💯🖒✔🖒

theslaybymic

Watch: Kristen Bell opens up about the mental health double standard and how she manages her own struggle.

Follow @this-is-life-actually

laureninlilly

Hit reblog on this so hard

geniusorinsanity

SHOUT OUT TO KRISTEN BELL’S MOM THOUGH? WHAT KIND OF FANTASTIC SELF-AWARE PARENTING, WELL DONE MA'AM

sherlck-deactivated20140622

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs

feathery-soul-deactivated201408

also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything

agnosticwitch

what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??

moontideempress

vimbia

Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.

jazmynedrakeford

Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.

youhavearighttoyourwrongopinion

Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show

caribe-bby

Y'all suspect af😂

dookiediamonds-deactivated20200

*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*

electricocelot

Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash

Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police

prismatic-bell

Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.

Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.

harmonysama-deactivated20190724

all this info is good for writing

but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed

ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone

thewelterschallenge

Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.

bloodforbones

Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same

sweetgirlfriend

Reblogging for *educational* purposes :)

fluidityandgiggles

This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.

nintendhoe-switchblade-deactiva

use a glass knife with wooden handle for ultimate wounding. its gonna leave a severe fucking wound and u can burn the wood and melt down the glass if it doesnt shatter inside the victim.

emilyelizabethfowl

Thomas what did i tell you about making suspiious posts?

ferntastic-m

I love learning.

srazars-main-blog-deactivated20

IT’S ON MY DASH I REPEAT IT’S ON MY DASH.

ratherinterestingmilkshake

ON MY DASH

dickplinko

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S ON MY DASH. ALSO JEVER TRUST ANYONE WITH MORE THEN 3 pigs

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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valtsv

adult person: life gets faster as you get older!

me aged 10: sounds fake but ok

me now:

uncletwo-bit

Pony: Soda, we need to go to bed.

Soda: What If you wake up and you’re just an almond. And can’t tell anyone or scream for help because you’re an almond. If we go to sleep we could wake up as almonds.

Pony:

Soda:

Pony: Then I die an almond, goodnight.

forpunishers

me talking to myself at 3 am

comfy

FISH NO

..but comfy

FISH PLEASE YOU COULD GET HURT

i-am-a-fish

s

sleeby….

the-top-hat-anon-deactivated201

succubus-saliva

Put those fucking sticks down

miiriya

deepspacepirate

One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). There’s something inexplicable about it

togepipi

catch me in the city of fre shavaca do

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

memeufacturing-deactivated20161

oldblogarchived

i forgot how fucking weird november is theres no afternoon its just night after 2pm

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