here's to hoping

Don’t you love it when you’re accused of constantly being out. It took me years to get to this point where I can leave the house, fuck off. You’re not even related to me, or my friends, you get no say.

i could kill myself and it would be easier to live through than this fucking subject

I’ve spent most of the past month in bed.

my eldest relative is going to have a mental health assessment because they have anxiety and “have probably had it their whole life” but I’m not allowed to have an anxiety disorder because I’m too young to feel that and I have so many opportunities, well.

Once upon a time I was emotionally abused to the point where I could barely talk openly, then in recovering I tried to talk to a friend who with the help of others stopped listening to me trying to heal after I listened to them for 4 years, once upon a time I can feel it happening again, I can barely talk about my feelings and when I do nobody cares. Once upon a time I started this blog as the only honest place. Once upon a time I wish I were dead.

i don’t know i mean crying all day has kind of become a hobby for me at this point

every now and again i’m reminded that my psychologist gave up on me, like she gave up on me without a word, just stopped replying to the doctors and to emails.

i’m always cold, let’s get this straight, but sometimes my fingers go red and swell up and become warm, so idk wtf is up

shout out to my great aunt and grandfather who’ve shared their mental illnesses with me, thanks guys!!!!!!!! aren’t genetics a charm???? edfghj

get angry until you disassociate until you go numb until you don’t care until you get high until you’re okay until you get angry again and repeat.

i get cold way too easy so i take hot showers to compensate, and then end up feeling dizzy and shaky afterwards, what is this life i lead