What She Thinks.

You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life. But you didn’t love her. Because you don’t destroy people you love.

“He loved her, of course, but better than that, he chose her, day after day. Choice: that was the thing.”

My condolences to anyone who has ever lost me and, to anyone who got lost in me or,to anyone who ever felt they took a loss with me my apologies for the misunderstanding or the lack thereof I’m sorry you missed the God in me and I’m sorry you missed the light I’m sorry you forgot the way I arose like the moon night after night with the burden to forgive eager to feed you everything See, I’m a holy woman I know what it’s like to give life to a being without ever needing to press skin against one another I’ve practiced how to hold my tongue long enough I’m afraid I forgot to say goodbye I’m afraid you’re under the impression That I was made to please you I was under the impression you understood me better the truth is, I’m a superwoman and some days I’m an angry woman and some days I’m a crazy woman for still waiting, for still loving harder even if I’m aching for still trusting that I’m still worth the most for still searching for someone to understand me better

Hey, it’s me. You probably don’t want to hear from me, but this is the last time. Promise. Just hear me out, okay? You and me, one last time down memory lane. I’m sorry how everything turned out, how we can’t even keep a text conversation past ‘how are you’ and ‘good.’ How everything seems to be tainted by some ulterior motive, and everything feels like heartbreak. But I don’t regret any of the time spent with you, and I hope you don’t regret any of the talks we had until 3AM or our friendship. I hope you know that even though we can’t look at each other, I’m still here for you. If you call, I’ll be on the other end of the phone. Always. I care deeply about you, which is why this is the last time I’m calling.