The Small But Incomplete Guide To

Descartes and Leibniz dreamed of encyclopedias containing all knowledge.

Would they have loved Wikipedia?

Fucking trees!

Why must they always grow where we find our preciousss?

Ninja are best equipped to fight the monsters under your bed.

Ninja are silent and deadly, the original spec ops.

Text behind text behind text.

The glorious cacophony of voices!

Play games to escape.

Play games to explore a ruleset.

Love hurts.

Unless you love bacon.

The meat and bones of your digital identity.

Try to use it at least as much as it uses you.

Let’s discover our identity, while the soup of our crazy new hormones is boiling over!

Let’s try to grow facial hair!

Plant tomatoes to feel alive!

Obsess about soil acidity, pruning, or crop rotation.

Putting a limp bag into lukewarm, watered-down milk is not tea.

Women below the Himalayas hand-plucked each leaf for you!

The wearer of a moustache navigates a narrow ridge above ironic hipsters and portly community politicians.

The Burnside is the manliest of face coiffures.

Watch horses dance, strange things getting tossed, and frantic waddling.

Eat fast food from official sponsors, presumably to get as trim as the magnificent humans on display.

Owls are not afraid of the dark.

The dark is afraid of owls, since owls hunt souls.

The ladies have lots of moving parts and like you to fiddle with them, J. B. Smoove submits.

This probably only applies to the lady you're with.

A joke walks into a bar; says the bartender: «Knock knock yourself out!»

«It's just a joke!» is no excuse to be a douche.

Rockets go up, fast.

Kim Jong Un likes to shoot them into the sea.

Boys in mountain villages hear the filthy roar of Metal and gather to ritualistically drink.

Metal is the most manly of musics, therefore a man must like it.