how not to impress you! by gojo satoru
𝜗ৎ gojo satoru x fem!reader , fluff // crack ! : just gojo’s miserable and not-so-subtle attempt on trying to get your attention! — gojo has an obvious crush on reader (he’s not even trying to hide it atp) , nobara and yuji who are absolute devils ( 2,1k )
gojo absolutely hates whenever some other guy succeeds on getting your attention. he practically acts like a kid being denied an ice cream.
“woah nanami, you’ve improved a lot!” you smile, clasping your hands as you step closer, eyes practically lighting up. “that last move was so clean! how’d you manage to do that?” you ask, hand on chin, completely unaware of the man behind you slowly losing his patience.
“pfft, would you look at that. took you long enough to figure that out.” gojo scoffs. “i mastered that move in what, one—two—wait, no, definitely—one day.” he says, clearly pleased with himself.
he smirks, FULLY expecting you to say bullshit things like..
“wow, that’s amazing! that just makes you more hot, handsome, cute, and more fine.. date me.”
“oh my god, that’s so cool! it makes me want you even more..”
well ouch. he opens his mouth to say more, but— “sorry, what were you saying nanami?” you ask, already looking away. gojo swears his temple twitched right there and then. “it’s not complicated. it’s a matter of timing. once that improves, the strike becomes consistent.” nanami explains, adjusting his glasses slightly.
“god.. what a show off,” gojo mumbles to himself with crossed arms. “oh, i get it now! can you show me again?” your sudden question brought him back to reality. “seriously? come on, you’ve got to be kidding me.” and before either you, or nanami can even respond, he steps forward. with a lift of his hand, he extends his two fingers before flicking them with a small and almost careless move.
“there.” he says, smirking. oh, there was no way you wouldn’t be impressed after this. “i can do it again,” he adds, glancing at you. “in case you missed it.”
“ohh,” you nod, clearly processing. gojo chuckles, pleased with himself at your reaction, he knew you’d be impr— “so, it’s really about timing rather than strength, right?” you ask, turning back to face nanami. gojo’s jaw drops to the floor, hand over his chest like you’ve wounded him (which you did).
“that’s IT?” he let out a short, disbelieving laugh. “oh, come on! no ‘wow’, no applause? not even a little gasp?” he stares at you, and you simply blink. “well, that’s amazing! i guess?” you say. “wow. okay. yeah, okay. mhm, i see. so, that’s how it is. right. fine. i’ll let you two have fun.” he mutters utter nonsense, nodding to himself and walking away with a pout.
oh, well he never really went out. he lied. he stayed there on the training grounds, observing from afar. you know, just to make sure you don’t do anything suspiciously with nanami.. not like he’s secretly wishing that it was him instead of that fuckface—he meant, gorgeous.. nanami
“aw, yuji! are you okay? where does it hurt?” you ask worriedly, inspecting yuji’s now bloody forehead. “i’m fine y/n sensei! just a scratch!” yuji smiles reassuringly, waving it off. gojo, who’s standing in between you and yuji, clicks his tongue.
an idea pops up in his mind.
“are you sure? i can go and buy some bandages if you’d like?” you ask again, and yuji is quick to reject the offer. “no, really it’s okay! to be honest, it doesn’t even hu—”
you turn around, as does yuji. “gojo sensei? what happened?” yuji asks, and gojo straight up ignored his ass. “agh, my head—it hurts! like.. really bad..” he hisses, bringing an arm over his head, sometimes sneaking a glance or two at you.
you turn your head towards yuji, and he does the same. “.. has gojo sensei always been this dramatic?” yuji whispers (gojo is still whining). and you shrug. “dramatic is an understatement..”
“alright, what are you two whispering about? i’m right here you know!” gojo cuts in impatiently. “in need of special medical attention.. by. the. way!” he adds and continues on the act. you sigh. yuji grins, before it turns into a smirk. “..hah, i get it now!” yuji snaps his finger. “get what?”
“gojo sensei! don’t worry, i’ll help you!” and before you can ask yuji what type of bullshit he was talking about, he dashes over and is now suddenly beside gojo. you can see AND hear them. they suck at whispering.
“..okay! ill pretend to aid you, but you have to act like it hurts real bad so she’d come and check you!”
“good idea! who taught you to become this smart? oh right, i did!”
you run a hand over your face. “morons..” you mumble before turning and walking away.
“ah—wait!” gojo groans. “it hurts. wow. like—really bad.” he clutches his side. you ignore him. “yeah, yeah! it looks really serious..” yuji nods quickly. “i don’t think i can move!” gojo adds, wincing dramatically.
“guess that didn’t work..” yuji mutters, watching you walk away. “absolutely unbelievable,” gojo mumbles. “this woman i swear to god..”
“HOW is that not enough?!”
“maybe you weren’t convincing enough?”
“what, are you telling me i can’t act? i can act alright!”
“good morning! miss your favorite teacher?” gojo steps in. “good morning gojo sensei!” yuji greets him with delight, raising his hand up in the air. megumi and nobara simply mumbles a good morning. “alright, important question!” he announces. nobara arches a brow.
“do any of you know what y/n likes?” the three of them exchanges looks. “and why would we tell you?” nobara asks, narrowing her eyes. “well, as her friend i’d like to give her something special, to honor our friendship!” gojo somewhat lies.
“..sure.” megumi mutters, and gojo is quick to defend himself. “what, you trying to tell me something?” gojo straightens up and yuji snorts. “hey, i’m not trying to be weird or anything!”
nobara exchanges knowing looks with yuji along with megumi before she speaks up. oh, megumi and yuji knew that look.
“actually,” nobara cuts in. “i’ve heard her say something about liking guys with neatly styled hair. you know, those combed-back hair.” she wiggles her eyebrows at yuji, which unfortunately went unnoticed by gojo himself. megumi sighs. yuji presses his lips together, trying his best not to grin.
gojo puts a hand over his chin, giving it a thought. he suppose it won’t hurt to.. try something new?
“alright! thanks for that advice. i deeply appreciate it!”
and with that, he leaves. a second passed by before nobara and yuji burst out laughing, clutching their stomach. “no way—no way! he actually believed that!” yuji says between laughs. “oh my god he’s probably already on his way to the salon!”
“you two are unbelievable.” megumi mumbles.
“has anyone seen gojo? he was supposed to be here 30 minutes ago.” you ask the three students ahead of you and they all shook their heads. although, you can sense something going on, you don’t press it. “he’s never usually this late.. wonder what he’s doing..” you sigh, rubbing your temple.
“bet he’s still in the salon,” nobara whispers, careful not to be heard. yuji grins. “he probably is.”
but then, the door burst open, revealing none other than gojo with.. a new, weird haircut? “sorry i’m late! had some errands to run..” he chirps, hands running through his new slicked-back hair. both nobara and yuji had to bite their lips in order not to laugh. megumi stifled a noise.
“.. is that a new haircut?” you ask, eyeing him in a not-so-impressed way. “haha, yes—so you’ve noticed! what do you think?” he asks, stepping closer, a proud grin plastered on his face.
“it’s.. something.” you say, faking a smile. gojo frowns. “what? you don’t like it?” he furrows his eyebrows. “um.. well it looks kind of weird, don’t you think?” you snort, bringing a hand over your mouth now that you’re seeing him up close.
“WEIRD?! this is a sophisticated style! and besides, they told—” he stops. because now everything makes sense.
oh, he was going to kill them.
he looks over, catching a glimpse of his three lovely students. nobara and yuji share a look of pure, unadulterated terror. “oh, is—is that the time? i, uh—think i left the stove on in my dorm. which doesn’t have a stove. but i should really go check!” yuji dashes out.
“right, and.. i have to go.. too!” nobara too followed yuji, dragging megumi behind.
now it was just you and gojo.
“what the hell,” you mutter, and gojo sighs. “knew this haircut was stupid to begin with.” you chuckle, and that gained his attention. “they told you to get this haircut, didn’t they?” you ask, smiling. his heart warms at your voice. “agh, i’m gonna get them back one day.. sneaky little—”
“my god it looks horrible on you. like, really bad.” you laugh. “why’d you even listen to them? obviously they were toying with you.” you ask, tilting your head. “i.. i don’t know, alright? they said you liked guys with these type of hair so i guess i did it because.. well, i kind of wanted you to like me, so..” his voice trails off into a whisper.
“and you believed them?” you ask, arching a brow.
you step closer, ruffling his hair so that it would return to its normal state. “for the record, i like this hair better on yours anyway.” you say, and gojo smirks, despite trying not to melt into your touch.
“knew you liked my hair.”
“i said i liked your hair this way better than that slickback hair you walked in with.”
“tell me why i’m talking to you again.”
