Why Are You Here?

It’s very telling of my mental/emotional state that a sea shanty nearly made me cry

A huge chunk of my friends are currently either terrified of losing their rights to exist as they want to are likely worried about getting shot by a right wing lunatic for their culture/religion after recent events. Our political system is breaking down and is being corrupted at every level by people incapable of little more than hatred. I feel lost and isolated constantly. It feel like everything is falling apart and I don’t know what to do about it

Seeing a lot of really awful news today and it’s really getting me down so I just wanted to say to any friends who still see this stuff to stay safe out there

I really wish this week were over. Or better yet this semester. Or better yet this existence

Seeing a picture on Instagram of somebody I care incredibly deeply about yet have lost contact with because of my own incompitance, stupidity, assholeishness, and cowardance shouldn’t make me feel as awful as it just did yet here we are

Oh god I think I’m dying I feel so shitty

Really loving how anxiety/depression is making me shake bad enough that the fine detail work that is the single thing that is letting me feel anything other than dread tonight is all but impossible. Real fun times up here

Part of me wonders if I should just accept one of the army recruiters that reach out to me on Facebook. Let them drag me off to someplace far enough away that I know people will forget about me. Let the training remake who I am and hopefully come up with something better, somebody who doesn’t resemble the piece of crap I am now. Just let myself fade away in some desert thousands of miles away.

I just saw the new Star Wars movie and if I’m being honest I was really not impressed. Wasn’t very good

Is “I lit myself on fire last night” a valid excuse to not take a final exam?

I can hear my suitemates vaping and I really want to know how they’re getting away with it. The smoke alarms are supposed to have particle sensors that go off if vape hits then. I know people have gotten suspended for it

My suitemates just hung a super fucking tacky pinup/vintage cars calendar in the bathroom and it’s really awful and tacky and I hate it and the fact that they hung it so you have to look at it when you’re taking a shit is awful and kinda gross but I don’t want to sound like some sort of winey asshole or the “triggered liberal” they’ll probably jump to so I don’t know how to complain about it 😒

I actually finished personal project kinda thing for once and I'm actually really kinda proud of it????? And I'm so confused???? That never happens???

Is it too much to ask for my computer to fucking work? I just want to play wolfenstien and shoot nazi scum to shit but now the sound is completely dead