When you find yourself in a place of depression or anger, don’t strain yourself by trying to get ‘back’ to some imagined state of peace. Meet the depression and anger. It is because you are trying so desperately to escape those feelings that the very fact of their presence makes you feel like you are failing. 

We are always alone, whether we are surrounded by people or not. But because we resist that aloneness, trying to fill it with things like people and pleasures, we don’t really get to see the aloneness for what it is. 

Think of it this way: when you are with strangers, maybe you feel a little controlled or reserved. You think you need to be collected and with a certain appearance. But when you are with your best friends, you’re totally loose. You can say and do whatever you want, it is as if you are alone but also with people. 

That is real aloneness. Not isolation and disdain but ease and openness. And because you are in reality always alone, whether you perceive others present with you or not, you can always be open. That aloneness is the same as Oneness. 

So the first step is staying with these things from which you are trying to run. Instead of running from this feeling of being alone, actually take your attention into it. If you stop judging, resisting, and assuming things about the aloneness, what is it really?

When you think to yourself “everything and everyone hates me”, ask yourself, is that true? Can you really say that for sure? Of course not. I certainly don’t hate you, which already disproves that notion. What about the opposite? Everything loves you. 

You are here because of love. The Earth and the universe conspired together and you were born from that love. You aren’t here because of your parents, or society, or any purpose/meaning you can give to your life. You are here because the Earth and the universe loves you. 

It is not enough to read these words and agree, disagree, or feel better. You must take this experience you are having and use it as a means to grow. Imagine if you can reconnect with your basic nature of peace even while feeling as though you are depressed, angry, and everyone hates you. How amazing would that be? It means that no matter what is happening in your mind, body, or world, you still are basically okay. 

Knowing that for yourself leads to a very humble kind of fearlessness. 

Practice meditation and Tonglen daily. A book that will really make a big difference in this process for you is The Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron. Get it and read it and live by it. 

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