Ever since I met that conservative politician on Grindr I’ve been hanging out with him more and more… he loves doing fun stuff with me like buying me clothes he says are “more republican”, more patriotic, or even more “straight”. He’s been showing me these strange videos that really help me understand that I want to breed women. I want to start a family. I will enlist in the Police Academy. I wonder what he’ll say if I’ve been thinking about showing his videos to all of my friends…























