why is he ourple?

your death has meaning now. no that isn't right. by my acts your deaths will have meaning. no no fuck. count yourself lucky that your deaths are folded into my legend? that's something maybe. fuck

The heavens call to me. I will build a castle brick by brick to claim them. Your pitiful deaths, otherwise meaningless, now lay the foundations to deliver me unto greater heights.

hey. hey. it's ok. performance anxiety is real. take your time. we're all here for you. there is no red dot centered on your forehead

b-but the speech is good right? not too overwritten? adequately menacing and impr-

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

many dishonourable knaves in the notes of this post

Official Post of Massachusetts

For the first time in my tenure on tumblr, it's "THAT'S A PHOTOGRAPH?" and not "THAT'S AN OIL PAINTING?"

this is honestly the best post on the entire fucking internet

Sluts

You call?

Kill.

Reminder that Hulk Hogan ratted out another wrestler for trying to form a union and was a huge part of the reason why Pro-Wrestlers don't have one.

people talk about the weirdness of seeing school friends get married and have kids but its even crazier when its online friends. like bro i've seen your carrd kin list. we went to homestuck together. brothers in chronically online arms. what do you MEAN youre pregnant.

What if you ate normals spinach (the greens) and you got really buff like popeye(the sailorman)

WHAT

whats if you ate a normals mush room (porto bello perhaps) and grew to a large size, not unlike mario (super). ha ha

Im stealing this post but making it about popeye

you wouldnt........ you couldnt......... thats impossible......

If you've got a day to kill i recommend watching straneaeons' video on harry potter and the methods of rationality, and then immediately all episodes of behind the bastards podcast that cover the zizians. You will never be the same person you were before that. You will probably be a worse person

you have no way of predicting any of what's gonna happen. it's BAD.