Sleepless and Thinking

And he didn't even fight for me.

What kind of love is that?

And in the end, neither happen. What i do is never enough.

I just hurt everyone

I can't do it here

My rock is leaving me

My love is fading away from me

And I'm left here alone.

And i can't even grieve properly in this house.

My anger simmering; won't say it aloud.

If I snap, I shout, I'm as bad as the rest

I give up with them all, I'll hold it in my chest.

I see all, I hear all, yet refuse to speak

How can i be better, when everything is so bleak?

I see them wrong me, I watch them not care

I voice my hurt, get shot down, how is that fair?

I am not a person, I deserve no respect

I'll apologise first, even if I am correct.

I let in the numbness, alone in my room

Sitting in the dark, I let it fully consume.

Obviously. He's in love with her and who the fuck am i?

Will i ever be enough for anyone? Im never anyones first choice. And they want me to fix my image of myself? Fucking laughable.

He would've still chosen her.

His back towards me, my clothes on the floor.

Hand on his waist, I lay there listening

A grip on my heart, won't let it be crippling.

Numbers on the clock, changing too fast

Desperate to make these final hours last.

Kissing his head, his eyes start to flutter

He looks at my face; nervous, my heart stutters.

I wonder what he thinks, waking up to me

But he grabs me, spins me, and snuggles into me.

Feeling his breath on top of my head

A happiness so uncommon, a brief thought; "am I dead?"