I've been asking others because I'm dying to know the different opinions on this: What would Gojo do if he came back from a mission and he saw reader wearing a white wig and a blindfold pretending to be him saying "Yowai mo" and other ridiculous stuff he says or does while the kids are laughing along. Would he get offended or laugh it off in your opinion? Thank you for responding.
Parings: Gojo Satoru x gender neutral! reader (requested)
Word Count:
Warnings: CRACK
a/n: this was so fucking funny istg bro
My Masterlist
My Rules
Requests are: OPEN -- Request Form
buy me a coffee on Ko-Fi
Image is mine (I finally made headers you should be proud)
okay, hear me out.
satoru called you and wanted you to bring him some lunch to the school.
you both knew very well that he could warp and get something, but where would the fun in that be?
so you agreed to make your lovely boyfriend some lunch and drop it off in his office.
however, when you arrived in the school, you weren't expecting his students to be huddled in a circle, snickering and giggling to themselves.
curious as to what they were doing, you peered around them.
"What are you doing?"
poor itadori almost jumped out of his skin, rushing to push something behind him as he fell back on megumi (poor boy)
"Nothing!" He exclaimed.
"I don't buy it," You hummed, walking around them. "What're you hiding?"
"Itadori bought a wig and blindfold and is pretending to be Gojo-sensei!" Kugisaki yelled.
"Snitch!"
"Really?" You grinned with amusement. "well, let's see. show me your impression of satoru!"
bruh you just can't put him on the spot like that. what are you thinking? But he does it anyways.
"Yowai mo!" Itadori grinned.
"it's not right," kugisaki said, shaking her head in critisim.
"okay smarty-pants, then how do you do it?" he quipped back.
"Show him, y/n!" the teen said, facing you.
"Me?" You pointed to yourself.
"yeah, you're around him the most." She said.
"hold her, megumi!"
"no."
"hold her, kugisaki!"
"Wah--hey!"
Kugisaki grabbed your shoulders as itadori put the blindfold over your eyes and pulled the wig over your head.
"okay, okay! give us your best impression!"
you knew they wouldn't leave you alone until you did
"say the thing. c'mon!"
sighing, you couldn't help but giggle a little as you said the words in your mind.
after you hyped yourself up, you said it.
"Yowai mo~"
However the voice was not your's. well it was, but there was another one that added onto it.
You think you peed yourself a little.
shakily lifting the blindfold up, you flicked your gaze back to see your boyfriend towering behind you, grinning at your little 'cosplay'
"we're out!" itadori grabbed kugisaki, who then drug megumi, all three of them dashing out of the room, leaving you to fend for yourself
(way to leave us in the dust)
"you need to work on that more, baby," He hummed, grabbing onto your waist.
"o-oh, uh, h-hi! S-Satoru!"
"hey sweetness. having fun?"
you quickly tossed the wig aside but before you could fully remove the blindfold, satoru grabbed your wrist.
"why dont i show you what it's like to be the strongest?"
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Qualityβ Free Actions
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
πΈ no but like he's so annoying all the time. he will NEVER leave you alone and because of this, you have to be alert so he can't pop up randomly and start attacking you.
πΈ steals your diamonds(and overall stuff). please hide your chest underground.
πΈ though he's an asshole, he's always like five steps ahead of you. by the time you find your first iron, he has a full stack of diamond armour. when you have reached the nether, he's already fighting the ender dragon. this man doesn't understand the word "teamwork".
πΈ when you go to bed, he jumps on your bed and twerks on you. also makes pissing noises.
πΈ does the mlg water bucket trick 24/7, has died twice from it
πΈ his house is made of dirt, cobblestone, granite, wood, gravel, sand, you name it. has no time to build a proper house. he has dicks to build.
πΈ speaking of dicks, they're everywhere. on the roof, mountains, signs, even on his cape. one can only wonder if he's truly 29 years old.
πΈ you regret the day you told him that mods exist. there's five different malware on his computer and is sad that his poop mod is not working. priorities ig
πΈ proposed the idea of starting a minecraft channel, you may pick your response to that.
πΈ so you know farming, right? you sow two long lines of dirt and put water next to it? he sows a giant square of dirt and puts the water in the middle of it. and he's wondering why his plants take so long to grow
πΈ he likes to play online server games, bedwars and stuff like that, and is actually good at it. gojo's a respected player but most of them hate him bc he's annoying, just like in the real world lol
uselessplayer5 was blown up by gojostrongest
{gojostrongest} GET FUCKED LAMAOOAOAO
{uselessplayer6} dude tf shouldn't you be banned already?
{gojostrongest} you can't ban the jujutsu strongest sorcerer alive lowlife
{uselessplayer6} wtf is a jujutsu sorcerer
πΈ he was banned btw
πΈ his favourite online servers are ones he can destroy other players and build dicks. (i've played the building games before, you see a lot of shit structures and dicks). he is amazing at making gamers rage quit.(imagine sukuna and gojo playing bedwars... hell.)
πΈ he's so annoying to play with but god damn is it funny. sure, you gotta put up with all the dick sculptures but overall you'll have a grand ol' time playing with him i think
ππππππ ππππππΌ
β»οΈ only plays it to fuck around and massacre every village that comes up
β»οΈ he cheats when he's bored and lacks resources, so he gives himself a stack of tnt and just blows up things(plus spawning a shit load of mobs until the pc crashes). is he ashamed of it? you know the answer
β»οΈ no gaming session is normal with him. he's constantly trying to kill you to satisfy his sadistic urges to slaughter everyone in real life, so he's doing it in minecraft.
β»οΈ also gets bored very quickly. by the time you're getting wood, he's either 1) burning down a village, 2) killing animals, 3) trying to kill you or 4) shutting down the game because he's bored.
β»οΈ he has ABSOLUTELY fallen for the desert temple bomb booby trap before. the sad thing is that temple had such valuable items
β»οΈ let's say that you're an experienced player: sukuna does not listen to you and when he dies he blames you and refuses to say otherwise.
β»οΈ you're forced to stay awake at night because this dude will not go to sleep. he wants to show these monsters their places and then complains about "demonic birds attacking him all the time". like bro go to sleep already
β»οΈ though he's an overall shit player, he's amazing with redstone. once built an automatic slave farm, laughed about it for 30 seconds until destroying it and going on to do something else. it took him around a week to build it.
β»οΈ the only pro of playing w/ him is the amount of food and resources he gets from killing animals and mobs. his screams of anger when there's a gang of skeletons he can't beat is another pro
β»οΈ also don't get your hopes up, he's not giving you the food. but maybe when he's killed by the skeletons again and you happen to be nearby
β»οΈ does not understand all the materials and updates AT ALL. wtf is netherite? why is that tiny dragon-like fucker staring at him? what does a smoker do? and as we have established already, he won't ask for help
β»οΈ it's just... chaos. minecraft is a mostly harmless game and that fucker can destroy and ravage it like nobody's business
ππΌππΌππ πππππ
β« HE'S SO CHILLLLLLL
β« out of the three, his house is the prettiest(what a surprise, right?). he likes to use a vast variety of wood blocks, unlike someone
β« no but like he takes such good care of the house: flowers, brick flooring with wool carpets, huge glass windows, even an oven?? dude it's a fucking mansion. his farms are also so huge and pretty with lots of animals(i suddenly wanna be part of nanami's sheep farm)
β« his voice matches so well with the minecraft soundtrack: a deep, yet comforting honey-like voice speaking with the soft and low tune of 'minecraft' playing in the background. it's HEAVEN!!!
β« it's clear now that nanamin is a building expert and by that i mean he casually builds cities like it's nothing. he'd like some villagers in his city but doesn't have the heart to kidnap
β« this gentleman will NEVER cheat. he wants to stay true to the survival mode β¨β¨
β« though he hasn't been playing minecraft a lot due to work reasons, he is the one carrying you most of the time. don't worry about a creeper or a skeleton because this man gotchu back πͺπͺ
β« has an amazing memory. lemme show you
NanamiKento fell from a high place.
{you123} noooooooooooo :'( rip ur stuff
{NanamiKento} It's okay, I remember the path.
{you123} weren't you like hella far from the house? you were away for like six minecraft days until u reached the spot
{NanamiKento} It might take a while, I lost the horse.
{you123} mr sparkles? :((((
{NanamiKento} I got the items back. And the horse.
{you123} :D
β« is very levelheaded with his pets: he has two dogs and one cat and that's all. you want a parrot? maybe you'll manage to get him to agree but you're gonna need to build a separate house Β―\_(γ)_/Β―
β« didn't name the pets at first but after ur nagging, he named them. the first dog is named pochi, the second is ryuu and the cat is nyan.
β« when you two are leaving for a longer journey, it will take him a full day to pack things. and never takes his pets along :') the risk is too big to be ignored. he does take them on a tiny adventure of getting wood around the house but only if all the holes and caves are covered
β« gives ZERO SHITS about the horrors of caves. there's a creeper? already on it. a cave sound just broke the peaceful silence? ok and? he's so fearless. good for him.
β« playing minecraft with him is very slow, by the time you reach anywhere close to the end, it has been years since you created the world. but every gaming session is so chill you kinda don't care about beating the game :)
π°/π½: ohh boyy dis a long one and in case you're thinking "how tf did u came up with this" i have no idea, it has been sitting in my ideas document for months and i thought it would be funny
- she doesn't really wear sweaters but that one has a special place in her heart or... on her chairs?
favourite pencil: the one with a cute koala print
- sad it's not a panda. she had a cat one too but yuji borrowed it
favourite teletubby: none
- doesn't have time for cartoons but if she were to choose then it would be tinky winky
favourite snack: lollipops
- are lollipops snacks? idk
favourite type of windows: garden windows
- gives her great space to watch judge over everyone while sipping lemonade from a wine glass
πππΌπΏπππ πππ π
favourite animal: anything that is fluffy
- if bears were huggable he would cry but he has panda so that works too. bunnies are cute too <3
favourite sweater: a five-year-old naruto shippuden sweater
- somehow still fits him perfectly
favourite pencil: a broken cat print pencil he borrowed from nobara
- will forever live in fear because when nobara finds out he broke her pencil all hell will break loose so now he's making up excuses as to why he hasn't given it back
favourite teletubby: po
- do i even have to explain? no i don't
favourite snack: anything
- homeboy ate a mf finger, of course anything edible and yummy is his favourite snack
favourite type of windows: sliding door window
- it's just so easy and comfortable, you just slide it to the right and BOOM you're outside. might get a bit annoying with bugs but whatever he'll use black flash to get rid of them
πππ π ππΌππππ
favourite animal: blobfish
- laughs about to nanami 24/7. any animal that looks ugly(to his eyes) is funny to gojo and just thinking of them makes him giggle
favourite sweater: the oppai one from opm
- not necessarily a sweater but he wears it so often that megumi is ready to burn it
favourite pencil: none
- he uses pens he steals from nanami. he actually had a pencil he used frequently but lost it somewhere and doesn't bother searching for it
favourite teletubby: laa-laa
- relates to her on a higher level. there's a 70% chance that he owns a laa-laa costume
favourite snack: candy
- what can i say, he has a sweet tooth
favourite type of windows: arch windows
- makes him feel like royalty (which he technically is). every time he passes by that window, he walks as if he was a wealthy and powerful emperor. so all those who happen to look at that window see gojo walking like a stickbug
π°/π½: guess who's back lmfaooooooo i did absolutely nothing other than staying in bed 24/7 also i feel like my posts look boring and kinda rude??? idk how to explain the rude part but imma try to make it more friendly
βοΈ something tells you that nanami and your iguana godzilla have a very serious business relationship
βοΈ the way he respectfully bows to godzilla every time he visits makes you suspicious. and you swear that you saw the iguana bow back
βοΈ nanami usually lets godzilla do its stuff. he glances at it from time to time to make sure that it isn't eating plastic or smth. they acknowledge each others presence and that's all.
βοΈ godzilla is a very chill iguana, it wasn't really fond of strangers at first but got used to nanamin or others hanging out in your home
βοΈ when nanami is in the mood, he will let godzilla out and let it explore the house. not before asking for your permission of course. nanami is a gentleman.
βοΈ ofc he keeps an eye on it, and he's very careful handling it. nanami spent hours reading about iguanas because he has no intention of hurting or making godzilla uncomfortable. but also he could've just asked you but decided to be extra smh
βοΈ your favourite moment is when you heard nanami watching a documentary with godzilla, sometimes spiking up a conversation about economy, politics or how work is shit
βοΈ nanami also hand feeds godzilla, so no wonder why it likes nanami
βοΈ it's a mystery what kind of business nanami and godzilla do, but until their relationship stays healthy and the business is booming, it's fine.
πππππ ππΌππ
chameleon
βοΈ maki and ur chameleon rango just vibe together so well
βοΈ at first she wasn't that into it but then she saw rango hunt flies and instantly got interested. she hates flies.
βοΈ you invited her to see rango and when she saw it change colours it blew her mind. maki had seen videos of chameleons changing colours but seeing it in real life was something else. they do it like it's nothing!!!!!!
βοΈ something tells me that maki prefers calm and quiet pets to energetic ones. that's why she comes by your dorm often because rango's chill vibe helps her relax.
βοΈ just watching rango do nothing is therapeutic. she sometimes rubs it under the chin, but rarely.
βοΈ like nanami, maki did her research and can be trusted to be alone with rango. she doesn't pressure much, but you can tell when she wants to hang out
βοΈ sends random pics of ur chameleon throughout the day when you're on a mission. it's nice to see rango at home chilling like usual when you're in another prefecture battling a shit ton of grade 1 curses and escaping death
βοΈ maki vibes with rango and rango vibes with maki. it's truly a nice sight to see.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Qualityβ Free Actions
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
* honestly? homegirl admires the living fuck out of you
* even if your drawings are just small doodles in your sketchbook or random shit in the corner of your math notebook, she still can't help but stare at them for hours
* she like really enjoys looking at you sketching. she can stay still and watch you draw for hours and not get tired of it. the way you gently brush your pencil over the paper and the sound that comes out of it is MMM ππ
* acts like she doesn't really care but is SO damn proud to have someone like you by her side
* she shyly asked you to teach her drawing and let's be honest, if anyone asks an artist to teach them art we just... error(at least i would do that)
* anywho the drawing came out wonky but she had so much fun so she doesn't really care
* buys you art supplies ( κα΄κ) your pencils broke? no need to worry, she gotchu covered. did you permanently lose your stylus and it's not under you sheets? she's already running to the tech store. she just wants to see you succeed with your talent and is willing to support you till the end and beyond
* though at first she always got the shitty brands bc she couldn't tell apart which ones were the good brands so she went with what seemed the most plausible
π’πππ’π§π¦π¨ π¬π¨π§π
* your BIGGEST FAN πππ
* man went bonkers when he found out you draw
* also admires the living shit out of you, he has below zero confidence in his own art skills(or just skills in general) so seeing you draw things like these, he started to idolize you even more
* is too shy to ask you to teach him how to draw lmao
* if you ever draw him he WILL cry and do it for hours and hours
* will comfort you when a drawing comes out shit or you find out you've been drawing on the wrong layer. he doesn't really understand it but he's trying his best β€οΈβ€οΈ
* once asked if he could frame a piece of paper that was covered in random doodles and hang it on his wall. he still hasn't removed it and takes very good care of it
* he could spend hours looking at your stuff fr, he loves you AND your art and makes sure you don't throw even a small piece of paper away bc you thought it came out horrible
ππ‘π¨π πππ π§π’ππ
* when he found out you could draw, his first thought was "salmon cod roe" which translates to "omg i can finally become a model"
* are u going to grab your sketchbook and pencil? he's already dressing up so you can draw him posing as a sophisticated movie villain. his favourite one is when you drew him as venus from the painting "the birth of venus"
* i'm sorry but i see him secretly going through your sketchbook sometimes ππ he rlly doesn't want to but his curiosity gets the best of him sometimes
* once stole a pack of expensive pencils and hid it somewhere in the school but after you went ape shit and almost destroyed his dorm, he will never dare to do it again
* sneaks behind you so he can see whatchu doing... be prepared for an unexpected "tuna tuna" in your ear when you're drawing rather suggestive looking poses
* he can be chill tho, he just srsly loves the stuff you do and if u draw him then like yuta, he will cry and hug you to death. will also create a shrine out of that drawing and use your masterpiece to provoke others
* overall, he sees this as an opportunity to buy fancy clothes and pose in them, but also so you can get better at drawing ahahaha...
NOTES% this is a repost from my old blog @KAMOLOVEBOT
MEGUMI will send you pictures of dogs at the randomest times, some rubbing noses against one anotherβs, cuddling each other, or grinning at one another, and caption them with mere wordsΒ βme and you.β theyβre enough to bring a smile upon your face, and communicate the message of his love for you.
GOJO barely has the time to sleep as the strongest sorceror; however, he never declines when you ask him to lay down with you. although he never falls asleep, his presence is there to comfort you, and remains present till you yourself have fallen asleep.
GETO tips backwards with an item of yours, hand outstretched just to see you outstrech your own to retrieve it. his smile is teasing, your attempts are fruitless, and instead met with a small kiss on your lips when you attempt to reach it one last time.
NORITOSHI will caress your forehead, gently brushing aside strands of hair to plant kisses across your face in a means to wake you up. his voice is soft-spoken as he calls your name, each accompanied with a kiss to your forehead, eyelids, nose, lips, till youβve awoken.
NANAMI will always take note of the fruits you enjoy eating, and cut them for you and assemble fruit bowls on days heβs noticed you havenβt eaten much. carefully sliced and cut into small pieces, theyβre always the fruits you enjoy most, and made without you even having to tell him.
CHOSO will always buy you items that heβs gotten for himself, whether it be the collection of rings that heβs bought, or even a comfrotable pair of socks heβd purchased. sometimes, he buys matching jewelry or pairs of clothing that elevate his spirits when he sees the both of you in matching clothes.
π°/π½: i'm so sorry but this is just pure dumbassery because i need a good laugh and this made me laugh so i'm satisfied. don't read this with thinking you're gonna get tooth-rotting fluff bc your really not
The video that she sent you a couple of minutes ago managed to amaze and terrify you at the same time. It's totally out of the ordinary. Maki usually sends you pictures of flowers or tiny bugs with captions like "Reminded me of you" or "Thought you might like this one". You love Maki's photography more than anything. Frog photos with terrible lightning and videos of children throwing a tantrum are a great thing to see during a bad day. But this was not it. You glanced over your phone again, tears in your eyes and you let out an ugly laugh again. This time, it was a blurry video of a seagull stealing her chips with Maki yelling profanities in the background.
ππ‘π¨π πππ π§π’ππ
Writes random messages on sticky notes
When did he start giving you those sticky notes with sweet messages written on them? You have no idea. Sometimes they are a sweet check-up note, telling you to drink water and eat something. On some days, they can be a beautiful poem that could've only been written by a wise old poet, who is hopelessly in love. You rubbed your eyes, grabbed the pink sticky note on your bedside drawer and read the message on it: "Are you sure you're brushing your teeth? Your toothbrush has been dry for a suspiciously long time. Please brush your teeth :D - Your swaggiest partner in crime, Toge"
π’πππ’π§π¦π¨ π¬π¨π§π
Always holds your hand
Yuta leaned his head on your shoulder and listened to you rant about Inumaki and Panda and how they managed to piss you off again. His hand linked in with yours, Yuta couldn't ask for a better way to spend time with you. Before the long Africa trip, Yuta wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. Your hand felt so soft and warm linked in with his that he couldn't help but bring it up to his lips and plant a sweet kiss on it. You let out a chuckle and continued to ramble about Inumaki and Panda, plotting your evil revenge against them. But goddamn his sweaty ass hands made you die inside.
Khai is celebrating reaching 750+ followers !! (yes he knows- thats far-)
there will be a set of different types of prompts and fandoms listed.
and you can send a combination of them through my inbox! i will write them into small imagines/scenarios, or hcs.
different types of prompts: dialogue, alternative universes, and themed/words
fandoms i write for: haikyuu x male/gn!reader, jjk x male/gn!reader, genshin male/gn!reader, and possibly blue lock x male/gn!reader. (which i doubt will happen.)
if nsfw is wanted please check out my rules page. it has other info too.
NOTE: I will only write for the max of 3 characters for hcs and 1 for imagines/scenarios.
must have the prompt, character(s), preferred pronouns (they/them or he/him), and clarifying if you want it as an imagine/scenario or hcs (or i will choose myself.) in your ask.
ex)Β βmay i request dialogue 4,Β βcan you feel my heart beatingβ scenario for bokuto with gn!reader?β orΒ βcuddle (themed/words) headcanons for Itadori with a male s/o.β
if there is multiple themed/words prompts for hcs in one request with more than one character, and you want certain prompts for specific ones. please type that in your request also.
and in general please be specific if you have a certain idea you want portrayed! iβll try my best to achieve it.
π½πΎππ΄ ; i will still do event requests even if my main requests are closed.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Qualityβ Free Actions
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
π°/π½: a short no dialogue drabble because the latest arc broke me and also because i haven't written for her at all which should be a criminal act
!!MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD! I SUGGEST YOU DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T CAUGHT UP TO CHAPTER 152!!
Maki felt how your gentle and loving hands roamed across her back, gently brushing over the scars as if to cherish every single one of them. Your hands travelled all the way from her legs to her neck, occasionally placing a kiss. The scars under your fingertips felt rough. They had zero softness to them yet simply touching them felt heavenly.
The warmth of your body made Maki crave it more despite you being so close to her as possible. You and her, embraced together on your bed, loving each other like there's no tomorrow. Legs intertwined together and your souls melting into one, Maki opened her eyes and saw you. The moment Maki's eyes locked in with yours, you smiled and relaxed your shoulders.
Maki gazed over your body: soft, beautiful, so warm in her arms, everything that her body wasn't. Maki's body was scarred, slashed and rough from the Zenin clan slaughter. Her body was covered in scars, all the way from her legs to her face. The woman Maki was weeks ago seemed so different from who she is now. It hurt her to admit this, but sometimes she hates the body she sees in the mirror.
A tender touch on her face snapped Maki back to reality. Your thumb stroked her cheek and Maki naturally leaned in, closing her eyes again and feeling how the heavy rock in her stomach lessened. You looked at the beautiful woman in your arms and pressed a loving kiss on her forehead. Only then Maki noticed her favourite song playing in the background and along with the scented candles around you, Maki let out a deep exhale.
When you started to sing along to the song, Maki couldn't help but smile and let out a tiny giggle. She wrapped her arms even more tightly around you, gradually falling into sleep, letting your melodies take over her mind and body.
π°/π½: guess who's back babyyyy!! also kind reminder that requests are open (β’Μα΄β’Μ)Ω i'm in the mood for some hcs so if u have an idea that u believe i could write then kindly send it to my inbox ( Λ Β³Λ)β₯οΈ
* being gojo's best friend is like taking a slide to hell on a sledge, occasionally stopping to get sweets and then continuing your adventure through hell
* his energy and childishness is almost unbelievable. so if you are his bff you have to deal with BOTH of those. i have mad respect for you
* be prepared to go to mcdonald's at 2 am just to get a cup of mcflurry. will he share? ofc not, who do you think he is? he woke you up on a workday so you can just look at him sensually eat ice cream
* when you share the same personality as him then nanami better get on his knees and start praying because you and gojo are his nightmare fuel
* remember that one juju sanpo where gojo put a drawing of a penis in nanami's pocket? you did the same with a vagina. fun times.
* you're the one who has the duty of waking up gojo for school. who decided that? gojo.
* he brings you to his missions. one moment you're chilling on your couch and one second later you're in a forest with thousands of curses surrounding you.
* his excuse is "i need my partner in crime to help me exorcise these powerful curses". which is bullshit btw but he doesn't want to fully admit he genuinely enjoys spending time with you
* besides, he can keep an eye on you (β βΏβ)
* when he's feeling mischievous, you better start running away because this man will bombard you with pranks and jumpscares. and nanami will not be there to save you
* slumber parties!!!! man is literally almost thirty but once he got the taste of slumber parties he literally begs to make one at least once a week
* sunbathing and soda in wine glass? sunbathing and soda in wine glass.
* grocery shopping usually takes around twenty minutes. with this man it's an hour plus thirty minutes. a new pack of candy appears every ten seconds in your cart, you can't find the fruit section, gojo is missing, you can hear his laughter in the baby section and the security guard is looking at you funny
* one day, you stole one of his 137826 pair of glasses and broke it. he's still salty about it and has no plans to stop whining about it
* be ready to be the substitute teacher for the first-years bc gojo has days where he decides that you already being an independent sorcerer isn't enough and u gotta take the teaching role too. the first-years already like you so there ain't much a problem
* ok that was a lie, only yuji likes you. nobara likes you only if u take her sightseeing in tokyo and fushiguro either thinks you're a pain in the ass solely bc you're gojo's bestie or has respect for you bc you're gojo's bestie
* gojo also likes to do cosplay with you, his favourite one was the team rocket one and the shrek and donkey one. feel free to guess who was who
* his way of showing his gratitude for keeping up with him is random bags of sweets showing up at your door, sometimes a note in it. he plays it as "well, i'm a nice guy who cares about his friends and students. you're welcome btw~" but you both know what he actually means by that
* being bff with gojo satoru means that he lets you know things that the others don't. it took him a long time to let himself be truly free but now he crashed your place just to get a hug from you. take care of this man, he needs it (β‘ Ο β‘)
π°/π½: because me and my 170cm ass wanted to feel tall >:) i tried my best to keep sukuna in character but goddamn writing him is so difficult ΰ²₯βΏΰ²₯ also I feel like my hcs have been kinda short lately so I'll try my best to make them longer (ο½₯ΰΈ±Οο½₯ΰΈ±)
* would he care? no, probably not. he loves you because you're you :) he would love you even if you were short, so calm your oompa loompas
* however, if gojo comes to play, then we have a problem. you paired up with gojo usually means limitless teasing and headaches. since mr nanami is a mature adult, he keeps his head cool but sometimes the need to slam your head into a pot of acid is irresistible
* putting things on taller cabinets where nanami can't reach? check. using his head as an armrest? check. treating him like a short person because you're like 7 cm taller than him? triple check.
* remember that juju scroll where gojo gave nanami a drawing of a penis? you did the same but instead, it was a toddler drawing of a gigantic you, hovering over him
* he ignored you for days
* don't forget that nanami ain't short, your ass is just slightly taller than him so don't get cocky
* there was this one time where he was too beat up after a mission so you offered to carry him home. at first, he refused and told you to go ahead but after bickering and struggling to beat his stubbornness, you gave him a piggyback and happily waltzed home :)
* will never admit, but he would 100% do it again
* he's kinda embarrassed to kiss you because he has to get on his tippy toes to give you a smooch but went "ah screw it" after a while
* one day, you were being your annoying self as usual. you knew he wanted a kiss but didn't want to get on his tippy toes. so out of pure boldness, he yanked your uniform tie, pulled you down to his height, gave u a peck on the lips and pulled away with a teasing smirk
* after that, he casually walked away, saying: "go ahead and say i did it. no one will believe you." and indeed he was right.
* also i feel like he has a thing for your hands?? tall ppl have big and pretty hands and nanami would just hold them after a stressful day :')
* he just comes to you with an intimidating aura around him, sits next to you, lays his heavy head on your shoulder and starts playing with your hands
* stress levels go πππ
* overall, there isn't much to say. he doesn't really care unless you and gojo force him to buy another bottle of headache medication
ππππππ ππππππΌ
* i hc him as a person(can you even call him a person?) who hates tall people. why? no reason he's just a salty bitch
* he holds a grudge against you and your gigantic ass but his self-control is too great but that's until you get too confident
* usually i'd say he would slice your head off and call it a day but this is fanon sukuna we're talking about >:)
* i feel like you being taller than him would slightly hurt his ego, only slightly because his strength and superiority still beats u :)
* he noticed how much taller you are than him in his domain when he got off his throne to assert dominance but stopped after he noticed how he had to raise his head to look straight in your eyes
* sukuna then grumbled, pissed off and embarrassed at the same time, threw you out of his domain while plotting a plan to get a new, taller vessel
* absolutely hates it when you place things higher than he can reach, but his empty threats mean nothing to you so you continue bullying him
* "do you need help getting the strawberry jam, your majesty?"
"fuck off."
"you can always ask me for help, i'll gladly help you out :)"
"if you were "gladly" to help me out then you wouldn't put them higher than i can reach."
"so you admit you're short?"
"keep talking and they will never find your body."
"i believe I'm tall enough for them to find me, unlike someone hehe"
* there are times when he tolerates your tall height, like when he demands cuddles aka "i'm cold so it's your duty to heat me up". the warmth of your big arms and legs around his body certainly heats him up, especially in his chest :)
* he got tired of yuuji's horribly uncomfortable uniform so he marched into your room and casually threw open your closet door, took out an oversized light blue hoodie and went on his day
"hi sukuna, what are you doing with my hoodie."
"what do you think? this is mine now."
"???????"
* can you blame him? oversized hoodies are comfy af, no wonder why this homicidal maniac rips apart yuuji's uniform every chance he gets
* overall, kinda like nanami. doesn't really care, maybe a little salty about but don't get your hopes up, the moment you too teasing for his liking, you're gone(as in he will ignore you until he comes back like nothing happened bc he needs you to "make him warm again". this is a wholesome blog, after all (ｑβ’Μα΄-)β§!)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
β Live Streamingβ Interactive Chatβ Private Showsβ HD Qualityβ Free Actions
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
* let's say that you're a fellow cold and quiet second-year, he is scared as shit of you
* when he saw you, he thought he was gonna explode because of your cold, intimidating death glare. that's why this sweet boy made sure to stay at least 5 meters away from you
* and when he saw your tattoos??? he thought he was gonna pass out
* thankfully maki slapped some sense to him and reassured him that you're not a gang member here to kill him lmao
* he can talk to you without legs going weak! yay, progress!
* (i'm getting sidetracked lmaoo) anyways he absolutely loves your tattoos!! especially if they are like traditional japanese tattoos
* he asks if they have some meaning and kinda listens to what you have to say bc he is too busy admiring the markings covering your back
* i feel like he would draw your tattoos on himself too, with a marker of course lol they kinda look like a toddler did those but yuta is proud of them so you stayed quiet(that didn't mean you didn't love them :D)
πππππΌππ ππππ
* he either shamelessly shows his curiosity in your tattoos or admires them from far, there's no in-between
* one time he got a glimpse of ur tattoos peeking out under your sleeve and is determined to see every single one of them
* i remember seeing a hc somewhere that gojo colours ur tattoos with markers and i feel like inumaki would 100% do that
* the moment he shows up at your dorm at 2 AM with a box of crayola markers you know there's no escaping
* and he genuinely has fun colouring ur tattoos??? like bitch do u know how hard it is to wash markers off??? do u know what's the worst part??? HE KNOWS, HE KNOWS THEY ARE HARD TO WASH OFF but you put no effort into stopping him for obvious reasons
* like yuta, he wants to hear the meaning of them but unlike yuta, he pays zero attention and just uses your voice as background noise while he colours your tiger tattoo with a pink glittery marker
* did he think you were a gang member? yes. was he disappointed to find out you ain't one? maybe.
* overall, he only likes them because he can colour them like a colouring book and you cannot stop him to any degree whatsoever (the power this dude holds... enormous...)
π°/π½: oh wow this turned out longer and more depressing than I thought. the urge to throw manga spoilers in this was overwhelming, but I managed :)
* ever since you and yuuji were little, you have always been taking care of him. making sure he eats, does his homework, doesn't get kidnapped and so on. you remember your grandpa's words and their significance: "take care of yuuji. protect him and make sure he is safe and happy."
* you just did the role of the older sibling flawlessly. and yuuji was not having it. he saw it as you were being too paranoid, having no faith in him to be self-sufficient. yuuji didn't want to be treated like a little baby. he didn't want to be called "chipmunk" or "tiny baby waby boo-boo yuu yuu".
* so he fought back by taking care of you! hah, sweet revenge! in yuuji's eyes, he was being the best little brother in the world: although he is the youngest in the family, yuuji did the same and did his best to be the one to take care of you.
* if you can count bringing you a glass of orange juice and some meatballs as "taking care of you", of course. but you couldn't decline, his smile was too precious to be rejected. and the meatballs were delicious.
* despite having to grow up too quickly and having to throw away your childhood, you were still kind of satisfied with your life. sometimes wishing for things to be a little different but yuuji's laughter never failed to make your struggles and sleepless nights worth it.
* so when he swallowed sukuna's finger, your whole life was turned upside down. the moment those words came from a blindfolded weirdos mouth, you swear you had a heart attack.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE GOT POSSESSED BY AN ANCIENT DEMON?! HE ATE A FUCKING FINGER???? WHERE THE FUCK IS HE, I HAVE TO TALK TO HIM RIGHT NOW!"
* yuuji had not once seen you so hysterical, and he wishes to never see it again (mainly because you were upset and also because you're fucking terrifying)
* at first, you were supposed to stay in sendai and finish high school but after a nasty curse attack, yuuji begged gojo to bring you to tokyo
* fast-forward to today! magically, you have cursed energy! congrats, you're a student at the jujutsu college now!
* nobara fucking LOVES YOU. she drags you to the city to go shopping almost every fucking day. frequent sleepovers? you got it babe. you talk shit with her while doing your skincare routine π π you two radiate bad bitch vibes β¨β¨
* gojo is like your cool uncle who allows you to take a sip of his beer(except he won't because he doesn't drink). pulling pranks on the poor students and laughing like hyenas when teasing nanami, you and gojo are everybody's worst nightmare.
* there are times when megumi tolerates you and there are times when he wants to push your ass off the cliff. one of these times are when you and gojo are doing stupid shit in public. but he finds you quite decent when going to the library to get some more books.
* and finally, sukuna. oh sukuna, what to do with you?
* you and sukuna have some fat, grilled beef. like you just can't stop bickering with him for even a fucking minute. every time you get the opportunity to roast that thousand-year-old ass back to the heian era, you take it and wield it as your greatest weapon.
* "careful not to move a muscle, your majesty. we don't want you to break your fragile old bones."
"brat, keep that attitude up and i'll break your neck."
"that would be too much work for you, grandpa." it's a mf circus and sukuna is the clown
* even if yuuji is in the situation where he is right now, that doesn't mean the teasing and sibling rivalry didn't stop. "tiny baby waby boo-boo yuu yuu" is still in your top 4 nicknames to call your brother list(yuu-chan, chipmunk and little rascal are the rest). it's your way of showing your love and you do not plan on stopping any soon.
* yuuji might not be a small boy with remarkable strength anymore, but in your eyes, he will always and forever be your dearest baby brother. the thought of his execution brings you sorrow no other soul or entity could ever make you suffer. just months ago you were living the life as a typical high school student and now every morning could be your last and your brother is on the death penalty. did you fail as his older sibling? your job was to protect him, to make sure he's happy and look where things are now. the sole thought of it makes your skin crawl with guilt and heart drown in the deepest and darkest of shadows.
* there's nothing you can do, but make memories where yuuji could forget the burden he's forced to bear and spend his last months as happy as he could. there's nothing you could do, but love your little brother for as long as you can. there's nothing you can do, but do your job one last time.
