they hate me because i'm silly and so intense at the same time

The ides of March is coming up what’s everyone getting me?

i never understood how we’ve reinvented heiroglyphics until now

Is that Tom Holland?

she said spank me and i slapped her with the word of the lord

Okay maybe mama did raise a fool

If you want cute names for your partner just use ones on candles they’re so beautiful like pumpkin spice or Passion flower or midnight rose or vanilla bean

if i ever met satan the first thing i would say is “did it hurt…when you fell from heaven??” It would be hilarious. The next thing I would do is probably burst into flame and get impaled dozens of times but it would still be hilarious