Femdom experiences, ideas, and suggestions
Iâd like to share some experience, ideas, and tips Iâve put together after about 4 years of dominating my BF. This is all my personal experience, so it wonât apply to everyone.
Firstly, I need to share that we arenât in a 24/7 Domme-sub relationship. That doesnât interest me or my BF. My BF came to me about 4 Âœ years ago and confessed some of his desires for femdom sex, and I decided to entertain it with him. Itâs been a lot of fun, but Iâm not making it a âlifestyleâ, although we do have some âextendedâ sessions, which Iâll detail later in this post. Its something we do for fun in the bedroom (well, not always in the bedroom). We still have frequent âvanillaâ sex, heâs actually quite good at it. :) That being said, Iâm not here to pass judgement on anyone else, or pretend to be an expert on the subject of BDSM. My current BF is the only person Iâve played with like this, but weâve learned a lot about femdom by experimenting, reading, and talking to each other. A good portion of these ideas and suggestions were his idea, and many are mine. Some may think that this is topping from the bottom, but I donât take it too seriously. This is all just in good fun for us.
Also, even though I talk about some of the stuff below being âforcedâ, thatâs not to imply he hasnât consented. We always have a safeword, and we discuss generalities before we decide on trying something new (although I do definitely surprise him with new activities to push his limits). Also, keep safety in mind with any activity. Not all of this is safe for every couple or every person. So, with all that out of the way, lets get to it!
I approach femdom by classifying activities into 4 categories, then I put them together for an experience. The categories I use are: Degradation/Humiliation, Pain and Control, Frustration/Teasing, and Service. Iâll go over activities in each then describe how I put them together.
This is a very fun category and can include a lot of different things. Hereâs a list of activities that I enjoy inflicting on him.
Forced feminization - I frequently make him wear womenâs clothing during our sessions. This can include lots of different outfits. Feel free to mix and match to your taste. Amazon is great for getting lingerie on a budget. I like to go with really girly colors and patterns for my guy. My favorites are:
High heels. These are an absolute necessity. You donât need to spend a lot of money on these, but you might want more than one pair if you insist his outfits match.
Lingerie. This can include teddies, stockings, babydoll, fishnet dresses, etc.
Just a pair of panties. This makes him feel very exposed. I like ones that ride up his little butt (cheekies, thongs), but still cover his entire penis. Donât let him wear anything else.
Pasties. This is very, very fun. Pasties are cheap, and not something you ever see a man wearing. A pair of high heels, pink thong, and some pasties is great outfit for him to wear while he cleans the bathroom for you.
Schoolgirl outfit. This is a classic, and can lead to some incredible role-playing situations. The skirt should be short enough you can see his little white panties peeking out without even bending over.
French Maid. Another classic, useful for the Service category Iâll go into later.
Makeup. This is a favorite activity. I love giving him a makeover. Super slutty makeup is the best and can be combined with any outfit.
Tight jeans, yoga pants, leggings. Pair these with a skin tight top and youâve got a great outfit for lounging around the house.
Short shorts. These can be cut off jean type shorts, yoga style shorts, or anything you like. The shorter the better.
Corset. Use this to give him a girlish figure!
Womenâs bodystocking. These are hilarious. They come in all kinds of patterns and colors, and are really cheap.
Halloween costumes. Great for any time of year! Amazon has cheap playboy bunny outfits, tinkerbell costumes, sexy nurse, etc. There are so many to choose from!
Pegging/dildo play - This falls into the pain category as well depending on your mood. I really feel that in order to make this act as degrading as possible, its important to get a dildo that looks and feels like a real penis. It should have balls and be a realistic skin tone. It should also be at least slightly bigger than his own penis (within reason). A big aspect that makes pegging so humiliating is the mental side to it. Obviously, thereâs some physical to it as well, but just being forced to âdealâ with a dick is mortifying to most straight men. Some activities involving your strapon or dildo:
Deepthroat training. Letâs eliminate that gag reflex ladies! Seriously one of the most degrading things you can do to your man is fucking his face. I like to recreate positions from porn in this activity. Relax on the couch or chair while wearing your strapon. Put him on his knees and make him get to work. If heâs not going deep enough grab his hair and force his face down on that dick! Trust me, he can take it. Donât be gentle. Make sure he maintains eye contact like a good little porn star! I also like to have him lay on his back on the bed or couch, with his head hanging over the side and cram my dick down his throat. Do this until he gags, over and over, heâll be drooling all over himself soon enough. Have him lie down on his back, then straddle his upper chest/neck area so the only thing you can see is his face. Put your dildo in his mouth and jackhammer that thing down his throat. Donât be scared of hurting him, even if your dildo is on the large side of realistic. heâll eventually be able to take it balls deep. He might complain that it doesnât fit. Well, its your job to MAKE it fit. Yes heâs going to cough and gag, a lot, yes heâs going to have a lot of drool and mucus coming out of his mouth. Thatâs OK. Donât be deterred by any sounds, drool, or complaints. Also give him instructions and compliments when appropriate (âyeah, show me your tongueâ âhands behind your back and open wide bitchâ âgive me that throatâ âthatâs a good little cocksuckerâ)
EDIT: Iâve received several questions about this point. Iâll clarify exactly what were doing here and why. When I make him suck my dildo, Iâm not getting any physical pleasure out of it and neither is he. This is not meant to be physically pleasurable to us, itâs meant to make him feel like my bitch. When you do this, make it an ordeal he needs to suffer through. When heâs on his knees in front of you, fuck his mouth hard and fast. Really make an effort to get your entire dildo down his throat as you thrust in and out. Make him suffer here for quite some time, 5, 10, 15 minutes even. Donât let him get away with pulling his head away or anything either. Make him keep your dick in his mouth, see how long you can keep it buried balls deep in his mouth, lock your legs around his head if necessary. His jaw and throat should be very sore after this ordeal, and his face should be a mess of slobber and spit. Once he can take your whole dildo down his throat without gagging, its time to upgrade to something longer and/or thicker. Your goal should be to have him performing at THIS LEVEL and he wonât get there without proper training.
Butt fucking. Work up to this using your fingers, plugs (he should wear a large sized one for a while before a pegging session), and other toys, but eventually your goal should be forceful pounding. Make him feel what its like to really get fucked. While pegging him, yank his hair, push his face down into the bed or floor, slap his ass. Be creative with positions and locations. One of my favorites is the tile kitchen floor, he doesnât have to be comfortable while getting fucked. Use lots and lots of lube here, it makes getting your dick in a lot easier on both of you.
Dildo masturbation. Make him suck and fuck himself with a dildo or other toys for your amusement. This one can be done with very minimal effort on your part. Just give him a toy, order him to the corner, and tell him to get it up his ass.
Using other objects to fuck him with. This can be a lot of fun, but be careful. Some items Iâve fucked him with: Beer bottle, drumsticks, vodka bottle,
Forced Nudity - This one is simple, but you can spice it up with toys if you like. Simply order him to be naked while you remain clothed. If you like, make him wear a butt plug that you can smack and wiggle around while he gets you a drink. Put a collar on him if you want, or combine this with forced feminization from above (for example make him wear only high heels, lipstick, and a chastity cage for the evening). Sometimes its fun to combine this with pegging. Iâll strap my dick on over my jeans, while heâs completely naked. Its a very humbling experience for him. I also frequently have him sleep naked.
Forced Performances. This is very entertaining and again a low-effort humiliation. Sometimes I like to put on some music and have him dance for me. Iâll make him perform a little strip tease, twerk, etc. Sometimes I will have him masturbate for me. Iâll give directions. (these are great times for video recording)
Spitting. Weâre getting a little more extreme here. Donât be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While heâs making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. Heâll love you for it! It can also be degrading while youâre criticizing his performance to spit in his face.
Golden showers. We havenât worked our way up to here yet, and to be honest, I donât know if I want to. Something we have tried in this area though, making him lick me clean after I take a piss.
Verbal humiliation (Disclaimer: Talk to your partner about this first if youâre worried about crossing a line with him, because this can be emotionally charged.) I really like this, and to me, there are two components. 1. You degrading him with words. 2. Making him degrade himself with words.
Name calling. Call him degrading names. This can include the following: Bitch, sissy, cunt, slut, whore, piece of shit, stupid, worthless.
Penis humiliation/emasculation. This is common on femdom porn sites. Make fun of the size of his dick, his sexual ability, the things he lets you do to him, etc. Terms like shrimp-dick, bitch boy, butt boy, fuck-hole, cum eater, cum dumpster, cocksucker, limp dick. etc.
Combine insults. Example: âYouâre a little limp dick cocksucker.â âYouâre a little cum eating bitch, arenât you?â
Being forceful and insulting with your directions. Example: Instead of saying âget on your knees and suck my dickâ, say âGet on your fucking knees and get this dick down your throat you little bitch.â Instead of using his name and telling him to bend over the kitchen table for his pegging, say something like, âHey shrimp-dick! Get in here, bend over the table and get fucked.â Instead of saying come here and lick my pussy say âget over here and make me cum you little piece of shitâ.
Tell him what youâre going to do to him later. Send him a text letting him know youâre going to make him eat your pussy and send him away hard and frustrated.
Order him to do things for you. *MOST IMPORTANTLY: Donât be afraid to raise your voice, or even yell. Its encouraged in this situation that you will be very forceful with your voice. Yell in his face if he isnât licking your pussy correctly. Yell in his face after you cum and tell him to get the fuck off the bed and do the dishes.
Making him degrade himself. This can be really fun.
Make him beg. Use this for anything, make him beg to fuck you, beg you to peg him, beg you to let him masturbate, beg you to let him eat his cum, beg you to spank him, etc. It doesnât even have to be something he wants. The key to this though, is to make sure his begging meets your standards. If you donât believe he really wants it, punish him and make him try again, and again until you really believe him.
Make him apologize. Maybe the orgasm he gave you was mediocre. Maybe he didnât take your dildo up his ass with enough enthusiasm. Maybe when you told him to deepthroat your strapon, he couldnât get his nose to touch your stomach like you insisted. He should be punished for such infractions, but he should also tell you how sorry he is first. (maybe after his punishment too.) Make sure he apologizes sincerely for any shortcomings. Shit, sometimes I make him apologize for having a small dick (even though he doesnât).
Make him thank you. Did you let him have an orgasm? Did you fuck his little butthole really well? Did you let him lick your asshole? He needs to thank you for the privlege.
Make him confess. Make him tell you his fantasies. This works especially well if you have him on the edge of orgasm. Make him confess a deep, dark fantasy that heâs never told anyone before. (Heâll probably run out of ideas at some point, you can punish him for that)
Public Play. There are some really fun ways you can take this play out of the house for some really great humiliation that doesnât involve violating other people boundaries.
Clothes shopping. I enjoy taking him to stores, wal-mart, target, etc. and picking out some really girly panties and outfits for him to wear. If there isnât anyone around, Iâll occasionally make him go try them on in the dressing room.
Wearing plugs or other toys in public.
And finally, for one of the most humiliating things a man can ever doâŠâŠ
Swallowing cum and/or getting a facial. He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, heâs eating it or its going on his face. I donât care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesnât want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that heâs going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums heâs absolutely repulsed by it. Some of my favorite ways to do this are:
Make him cum into a condom, then empty it into his mouth.
Make him have a ruined orgasm (Iâll explain later) onto the tile or hardwood floor. Then make him lick it up. If he resists, shove his face in it. If you have carpet, that isnât a problem. Make him suck the cum out of it until its all gone.
If you let him cum inside you or on you, make him suck the cum out of you or lick it off of you.
While heâs wearing a pair of panties, rub his dick until he cums in them. Then peel them off and make him lick it out, or smear them all over his face.
Flip his legs over his head into the piledriver position (good for pegging also) and make him shoot his load all over his own face. This is a favorite of mine, simply because of the role reversal mind fuck going on in his head. I also like making him leave the jizz on his face for the rest of the day.
Make him cum into a glass and then pour it into his mouth, or pour it all over his face and/or hair.
However he gets the cum into his mouth, occasionally Iâll have him âplayâ with it. Gargle it, show it to me on his tongue, drool it out and then suck it back up like a porn star.
EDIT: Ladies, heâs going to be much more compliant with eating his semen if he has had a ruined orgasm instead of a pleasurable one. I mention this below but Iâll go into some more detail here. When your man has an orgasm his sexual desire drops off a cliff. He wonât want to eat his cum and will resist. But if you give him a ruined orgasm, he doesnât get much pleasure at all, and his sexual desire remains high, but he still can expel a good amount of sperm. The goal here is to make his semen come out of his dick without pleasure, but for most men, the pleasure and orgasm actually begins several seconds before he ejaculates. So I like to have fun with this. With him on his knees and his hands restrained Iâll stroke his dick until he gets very close to orgasm, and then when I think hes right on the edge, Iâll let go and watch. Iâll wait about 20 seconds and if no semen comes out, start again. If youâve done this perfectly, his semen will leak out about 10-15 seconds AFTER you stopped stroking it. Heâll be left sexually frustrated, but you actually DID give him an orgasm, its not your fault he didnât feel it! Heâll be much more compliant in regards to consuming semen in this way. I like to combine this with chastity sometimes too. Iâll have him locked in the cage for a few days, give him a ruined orgasm and then put him back in. Its wonderful!
For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for addiitonal humiliaiton. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini topâŠ.well thatâs just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.
DISCLAIMER: It seems online, many people are nervous about this category, and with good reason. Its sometimes hard to tell what your partner is comfortable with, and they may not even be sure of it themselves. So take all of this slowly at first until you and your partner can figure out what works for you. That being said, I seek to push right up against my boyfriendâs limits here. This is where the âforcedâ part of the humiliation listed above becomes more real.
There are several ways to inflict some pain on your male, here are some of my favorites.
Face slapping. I really enjoy this. Nothing gets his attention so quickly as a pop to the side of his cheek. Several (5-6) in quick succession create a look of fear in his face that I love. He can take a lot of punishment here too, just watch out for his eyes and ears. This is an especially good thing to practice while youâre fucking his face or heâs licking your pussy and/or ass. Use your slaps to get his attention, give direction, and have fun. âI slap told slap you slap to slapfocus slap on slap my slap clit!! slapâ
Hair Pulling. Grab his hair and yank his head around. Do this while pegging (in any position), while heâs giving you oral (or sucking your dildo), to lead him where you want him, to hold his head in place while you slap him, to force his face into a puddle of semen, etc.
Spanking/whipping. The most common. I like to use a belt, flogger, occasionally a cane.
Cock and Ball Torture. Another common theme on femdom websites. Hereâs a list of techniques I use.
Squeezing/Pinching. Grab his balls and squeeze. Pinch the head of his dick.
Slapping. Simple. To make it hurt worse, you can grab his balls into one hand and hold them tight and steady while you slap.
Punching. Same as above but creates a lot more pain. :)
Kicking. Kicking him right in the balls after you just fucked his ass can be quite the experience for both of you. Take this one more slowly haha.
Nipple Play. Most people know about this already. Use clamps, clothespins, pinches, flicks, twists, and scrapes to inflict some pain here. He can take more than you think.
Chemical Play. Ok, weâre getting to some more extreme areas here again. This is not to be taken lightly, as many peopleâs bodies react differently. Hereâs a list of things weâve tried.
Ice cubes. Rub on his penis, balls, asshole, and nipples. This can sometimes eliminate a pesky erection in a pinch. Iâve inserted cubes into his anus as well, he doesnât like that lol.
Ben-gay/Icy Hot. Rub this on the penis balls, taint, and anus. This creates a very unpleasant burning sensation. My pet feels very intense pain for about 10-20 minutes. It then subsides to a mild cooling sensation.
Tabasco/hot sauce. Same as above, rub on genitals and asshole. Your manâs experience will vary here depending on the type of sauce you use, the duration you leave it on, and the amount you use. I reserve this for serious punishment. I once poured some hot sauce on the dildo I fucked him with. Letâs just say he didnât have a great night.
Electricity. You need to be even more careful here. My only experience is a dog shock collar. I attach the collar around his penis and testicles. It has a vibrate function (for when heâs been a good boy) and 8 levels of shocks. Weâve gotten up to level 6. He really hopes I donât have to use 7 or 8 on him. You can experiment with the position of the collar on his genitals. If the contacts are touching his balls, heâll feel it throughout his sack and his perineum. If you flip it over and the contacts touch the base of his penis, shocking sensations will affect his entire penis, all the way to the head. Weâve experimented with different levels here, and it seems his penis is much more sensitive to electricity than his balls are. Your manâs experience may vary. This collar also has a sound/beeping function that I use as a pager when I need him. If his balls beep, he has 10 seconds to be on his knees in front of me, regardless of his prior activity, or else heâll face punishment.
Bondage and Restraints. I keep this simple as I donât enjoy taking the time to set up intricate bondage situations. Iâm sure my BF would like it, but its just too much effort when I can use simpler items to accomplish the same things. I own a few types of gags, a collar and leash, handcuffs, bed restraint system and, my favorite, a spreader bar (bar with cuffs for hands and feet).
Control. A lot of the more severe pain and control items above are essentially just a method to get my guy to do what heâs told. This is where the âforcedâ aspect really comes into play. For example, he absolutely hates eating sperm. But if I want him to eat sperm, heâs going to fucking eat it. So I use pain to get him to do it. One way I do this is with the electric dog collar and handcuffs. After he cums, and thereâs a load of sperm sitting there on the floor, I give him a choice. Either put your face on it and suck up all that lovely sperm, or, get shocked in increasing intervals and strength. Eventually heâll do it. This is an area where weâve both agreed that he doesnât get a choice any longer. He submits to being forced to lick his jizz off the floor.
Another example is dildo play. If i instruct him to deepthroat my strapon, and get the entire 7 inches down his throat while maintaining eye contact, thatâs his job to do. If he doesnât, I inflict pain. For example, I might start by slapping his face as a warning if heâs disobeying, increasing the strength and quantity of the slaps as I try to work the dildo down his throat. If that doesnât work, I move on to other means. I may whip him with the belt, or punch his balls a few times then give him another chance. I increase the pain until he obeys. Its really fun to give him tasks that are hard to acheive. I also use pain as punsihment for failure. If he canât make me orgasm in a certain time period, or its less pleasurable than what I expected, I may attach the spreader bar to his ankles and wrists, gag him, slather his cock and balls with ben-gay, and then go have a glass of wine while he contemplates how he can improve his performance next time.
This doesnât mean I need a reason to hurt my toy. When weâre playing, I may slap him for fun or for no reason at all. If heâs getting pegged, he should expect to get popped in the face a few times just because I fucking feel like it. Maybe Iâll kick his little blue balls afterwards while heâs still on all fours on the kitchen floor, just because I want to be a bitch.
This is really quite simple. When weâre playing, I cum when I want, he cums when heâs allowed to. I enjoy making him suffer in this way, its honestly the most fun part of all this. There are a lot of ways I enjoy teasing and frustrating him and Iâll go over some of them now. There is one hard and fast rule in this game for us. He must always ask permission to ejaculate, no exceptions. Heâll be punished severely for an unauthorized orgasm or ejaculation.
Chastity. This is a must for us. While we donât play 24/7, I enjoy making him wear a chastity device frequently when weâre apart. I work nights, so if Iâm at work, chances are heâs locked into âThe Viceâ. This is a locking chastity cage, similar to others, only this one has an anti-pullout mechanism that makes it very difficult to remove without the key. Basically âThe Viceâ (available at  www.lockedinlust.com ) is a plastic sheath for his dick that attaches to a ring around the base of his balls. It prevents erections and masturbation very well for the price. I donât want my manâs dick mangled by a piercing for this game we play, and some of the other devices out there require that to be secure. The Vice keeps it secure and out of his (or anyone elseâs) hands. Its so empowering to be able to restrict access to his own dick. I have the power to grant him erections and orgasms, he canât have them without me or my approval. The length of time he wears the device really changes, but is up to me. I usually donât keep him in it for more than a couple days, but weâve had times that I left him in there for over 3 weeks. He really wasnât happy about the time I had to leave town for 4 days and took the key with me, AFTER heâd been locked up for a week already.
There are a log of fun chastity games you can find online. Some fun chastity games we play:
Try to cum. I enjoy leaving the device on him, and tell him to try to have an orgasm with it on (no vibrator allowed!). Its fucking entertaining to see him hump his hand, finger his asshole, shake the cage around, pinch his own nipples, etc. I like to offer some cheering words of encouragement here for him. Usually I have him do this on the floor in the middle of the living room while I sit on the couch and watch. He hasnât been able to cum yet, but maybe one day heâll get there. (Another great video opportunity)
Coin flip. If heâs been locked up for several days, Iâll strap him to the bed or handcuff him to remove the device.
Then Iâll start stroking his dick until heâs very close to orgasm, right on the edge. Then I flip a coin, heads I finish him off. Tails, I immediately stop, put an ice pack on his dick and lock him back up once heâs soft again. Better luck next time honey.
Roll of the dice. If he rolls a six, he gets to cum. If not, thatâs the number of days he stays locked up until he gets another chance. This went on for over 3 weeks for us at one point. He was really on edge lol.
Chastity can also play into the control aspect as well. Sometimes when we play I donât take the cage off. For example, he doesnât need an erection to get fucked in his ass or to use my dildo and vibrator on my pussy, so why take it off? If he starts giving me a bad attitude, Iâll simply add another day or two to his lockup time. I use this as punishment for disobedience when playing, so it gives me more control.
One of the big things youâll notice if you start incorporating chastity into your sex life, is that he will become more and more agreeable and obedient as time goes on, if you restrict his orgasms. If weâre playing with chastity more seriously, I like to make him wait 1 to 2 weeks between orgasms. He has a high sex drive, so when I do this, he gets so horny heâll do anything to get out of his chastity cage. Its really entertaining to see what I can get him to do. Once, after 13 days locked into the Vice, I insisted he detail my car if he wanted out of the device. He whined and complained, so I told him that he just earned himself another 3 days in the device, and I still expected the car detailed.
The MOST IMPORTANT thing when incorporating chastity into your sex life is this. SAY NO. Donât be swayed by his begging, whining, or complaining. Firstly lets get this out of the way, no one NEEDS to have an orgasm. He wants to cum, he doesnât need to. So lets get that little idea out of the way immediately. We have a rule, when heâs locked up, he gets to politely ask for an orgasm once per day. If I feel like it, Iâll have him earnestly beg me. This is great for extracting promises from him. But if I say no, he needs to shut the fuck up about it immediately. Occasionally Iâll say yes, but most of the time Iâll say no as Iâve already decided on how long heâs going to be locked up. Do not feel bad about this. In fact, relish your power here.
I get off on having him go down on me right after I tell him âNo, youâre staying locked up.â While we both agreed to incorporate chastity devices into our sex life, the lockup duration is my decision alone. Use the device to modify his behavior to your liking. If you want something from him, sexual or not, give him the order. If he doesnât comply, add time in the device. The power is intoxicating.
Teasing. Sometimes he wears The Vice around the house, sometimes not. But regardless I like to wear skimpy clothing, rub up against him, feel and squeeze his balls, ass cheeks, and body just to see him get a boner (or try to, hehe). Iâll take this a lot further sometimes, stroking his dick until he starts leaking precum, getting him close to orgasm, only to stop and tell him to calm down. Sometimes I even let him fuck me until I have an orgasm or two, then tell him to stop. This is delightfully frustrating for him. Other times Iâll leave him in the chastity cage and masturbate right in front of him. One of my favorite teases is to use his mouth to make me cum and send him away completely denied. Sometimes I tell him Iâm going to make him cum, only to stop at the last second and tell him I changed my mind.
Ruined Orgasm. By far the funniest aspect to this whole femdom thing. Its really an artform. The basic idea is that you get your man very, very close to the point of orgasm and then stop all stimulation. If you do it right, heâll just tip over the edge, and his semen will dribble out of his dick with barely any force, and next to no pleasure. This works best with his hands restrained so he canât try to finish the job himself. I like to pair this sometimes with the shock collar to make it completely miserable.
So now we get to the fun part. A lot of the above is playing into my manâs fetish, and thatâs ok. I do love him, and I donât have a problem doing stuff for his enjoyment. But you can be sure Iâm going to be getting something out of all this! A big part of femdom is serving the woman in the relationship. And Iâll detail how that all works for us now.
Sexual Service. This encompasses everything. If I want my ass eaten out for 2 hours while I watch TV, he does it. If I want a full body massage from a muscled, naked man, thatâs what I get. If I want to fuck and get off two or three times, I get that. If I want my nipples sucked while I use my vibrator on myself, thatâs what I get. Nothing is off limits to me sexually. I speak, he obeys. Thatâs just how it goes. I typically donât orgasm from oral sex alone or penetrative sex alone, and sometimes it can take quite a while for me to get there. The point is, I get what I want. Not that I want him eating my ass for 2 hours necessarily, but Iâll make him do something like that sometimes just because I can. (Then sometimes make fun of him for it.)
Facesitting. I love sitting on his face. Its a great experience to cum all over his face. Sometimes I use just his tongue, while other times Iâll shove a dildo in his mouth and ride it while using my vibrator. I also have a gag that has a dildo sticking out of it. Whatever Iâm using, its important that Iâm only concerned with my own pleasure during this experience. Donât worry about whether or not heâs able to breathe, if his tongue is tired, if his neck hurts, etc. In fact, its quite enjoyable to put him in intentionally uncomfortable positions for this. We have a hard wooden chair that I like to use for this. Heâll be required to sit on the floor and lean his head back onto the seat of the chair. This hurts his neck and head when I really start riding and bouncing on it, but who gives a fuck? He needs to focus on my orgasm, not his temporary discomfort.
As part of the sexual service aspect of femdom in our sex life, weâve decided that he no longer decides when and where he gets to orgasm, when and where I get to orgasm, and he doesnât decide on when or where any other sexual activity takes place. Thatâs up to me now. This doesnât mean that he doesnât initiate sex any longer, far from it. But it does mean he doesnât get to complain, and he doesnât get to turn me down when I want it either.
The goal of sexual service is two-fold. One, for you to get all the pleasure you want. Two, for him to feel completely objectified. When you are using him sexually, think of him as just another sex toy, a dildo that you can use up and throw away when you are finished.
But this isnât limited to sexual service only.
Domestic Service. Basics. When weâre in femdom mode, he does the chores. All of them. We get to spice up mundane things like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming in easy ways. For example, if the dishes need washed, and the kitchen mopped, I tell my bitch to get his maid outfit and shock collar on and bring me the large butt plug. While he gets dressed I may watch TV, text friends, do some shopping online, or anything else I want. When heâs ready, he lubes up the plug and I put it up his tight little ass. He then goes off to do whatever Iâve told him to do while I relax. After heâs done I may or may not inspect his work, if he did a good job then he may get a reward. His reward may be the privilege of kissing my asshole for example. If its not up to par he may get punished. This can be implemented immediately, or added to a play session later. If you are going to go this route though, I would suggest using punishments he really wants to avoid (extended chastity time, severe spankings, etc.) or else you may find him purposefully messing up in order to get some âpunishmentâ he wants.
This applies to any chore we need completed. My laundry, dishes, car washes, lawn mowing (its funny seeing him on a riding mower when I know thereâs a plug up his ass), cooking, etc.
Personal Service. These are generally intimate things that I want done for me. They can really play up the tease element as well. Some examples:Â
Shave me. In the shower or bath, I like to have him shave my legs and pussy.
Toenails/pedicure. I pick the color, then he massages, moisturizes my feet. Then polishes my nails for me. Heâs also responsible for removing any old polish from my nails.Â
Massage. Sometimes just a shoulder rub, other times Iâll be nude and he is required to give me a full body massage with oil. I like for him to be nude for this as well. Itâs really torture for him to give me a few orgasms afterwards and stay denied.Â
Body worship. It can be really relaxing to have him kiss and nuzzle my thighs, feet nipples, and pussy. I especially enjoy having my asshole worshiped though. Just light kisses, licks and nuzzles. Basically heâs making out with my asshole. Itâs a serious power trip to have him do this while I watch TV or play games on my phone, ignoring him except to give instructions if I want something done differently.
Iâve outlined several ideas and topics here, and now Iâll give an example on how Iâve put all of it together. Remember when reading this, its all in fun, and it doesnât necessarily have to make a lot of sense. Remember, if your guy is into femdom, he likes a lot of this kind of stuff already.
I like to choose something from each category when we play, just to round out the session. Not always, but frequently.
For one session I decided we were going to do some pegging, so before I got home I told him to get himself cleaned up, naked, and get a plug in. I got home about an hour later, so heâd been stretched out for a little while. I got home, grabbed him by the hair and dragged him into the garage. I told him to get on all fours in the middle of the floor and wait. He waited there for 20 minutes. I know he was scared, heâd never been fucked on the garage floor before. It wasnât clean, and he was completely naked except for the plug in his ass.
I came in turned all the lights on and started taking pictures. I was already wearing the strapon. I made him smile for the camera, and pose for me. It looked like a really trashy photoshoot. I took several pictures in varioius positions and then I told him it was time to get busy.
I lubed up my cock, slowly pulled out the plug and got to work. I fucked him on the floor of the garage for about 5 minutes, eventually really pounding him. I pulled him up by his hair, bent him over the hood of my car and pounded some more. I insisted he fake an orgasm like a girl. It was reallly funny listening him attempt to moan and scream like a woman orgasming.
Once he was done, I pulled him around by the hair and spit directly into his face. I told him that was the worst fuck Iâd ever had and told him to âgo clean my fucking bathroomâ. He stared at me dumbfounded, so I slapped him hard in his face and repeated it louder. He quickly scurried off to the master bath. About 5 minutes later I came in and threw the strapon and butt plug on the floor and told him to clean up my toys as well. When he came and reported that he was done, I went to inspect his work. It was spotless.
So I told him to get himself cleaned up and ready for bed. As a reward I let him go down on me for a while and then use my vibrator to give me an orgasm. He didnât get to cum that night. (but we did cuddle and watch a movie)
There are many more ways you can mix and match categories, and many of them run together. For example, you can facefuck your man with your strapon, while you rub his dick. Once youâre satisfied heâs learned how to deepthroat, pull him off and make him beg for the privilege of masturbating in your presence. You can record this on video if you like, then, make him eat his own cum on video. The possibilities are endless! Again, I know a lot of this isnât âauthenticâ if youâre doing it for your submissive partner, but that doesnât really matter to me. What matters is that weâre having fun, and I get what I need out of it too.
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