an alleged vampire

opening Tumblr is like a cigarette break

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

every time an f1 race is on my dash is just like update on enemy #1. update on enemy #5. update on enemy #3. enemy #7 has eaten enemy #9. alex albon is having a Bad Day :(. update on enemy #2.

hope tumblr lasts another 20 years so i can liveblog my midlife crisis

having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

brought nothing to the gun fight. whatever man

dont worry, i'll be hot and funny again as soon as i'm done fighting for my life right now

i took 50g of music and im starting to black out

posting is a stress response