That’s Some Scurry Shit

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ohh i'm daniel molloy. i sold millions of copies of my best-selling novel. i'm a beast at bowling. i've got the french bengali smokeshow pinned against the wall. man fuck you

every time i sit down 2 watch a horror movie i think of that one tweet :/

blocked everyone not in the vampire bride polycule so if you’re seeing this i have some news for you

*grand piano falls on Dr Frankenstein*

I scrolled past that before realizing op was being literal and not just making some kind of weird joke

Oh please, "the penetration of the vampire's bite as metaphor for sexual penetration" is like, horny classic vampire symbolism 101 🙄 Taking this to the next level of "vampire bite as literal reproductive penetration" is a conversation Tumblr is thoroughly and uniquely prepared for and one that we will all severely regret very shortly

Oh, I’m ready to be a spectator for this conversation. I’m ready. 

MA'AM.

[something, something] … practicing safe sucks.

Okay, yeah, I'll reblog that