Kpop things

First off, I sorry for turning this into my "venting blog", and eventually, I'll want to start writing again, but it may take me a while. This whole post will just be a stream of consiousnes so bear with me if it makes no sense or feels all over the place, I have no plan on how I'm going to write this.

I feel like shit. Art is something I want to do, my passion and what I want to build my career on. But with all the negative feedback from my family, I've lost confidence in myself. So Many times I've tried starting some social media account to showcase my work, but I back out of it so quickly, second guessing myself and being overly critical of my work.

All my life I've had no one who I felt would listen to me, so I've turned to myself, thinking that I was the only person I could trust. I've kept all my problems to myself and tried to solve them myself. I've pushed people away because of this, consciously and unconsciously.

I have almost crippling social anxiety and can barely even meet up with my friends to hang out. And this anxiety has only grown in the past few months. I've tried to come out of my shell and talk to my mom, but she's one of those people who don't believe mental illnesses are real and just told me that I'll be fine. Same with my dad.. they ridiculed my cousin for having to take antidepressants. She has to because of postmortem depressing and she had just had a child. But they think it's nothing and she didn't need it.

I don't want to self diagnose, but I'm feeling depressed, and not just sad, I mean depressed depressed. I'm not going to say I have depression as I'm not properly diagnosed, and for all I know, this is temporary, but I needed a place to vent.

Now I'll talk about tonight. The exact time of me writing this is 11:44 pm. I don't know what happened but I was trying to sleep when I just felt like crying. So I let myself, thinking I just needed to let it go, but I escalated and I've been full on sobbing to myself for the past hour. Recently I've forced myself to go out with friends and I slept over. We had a few drinks, not enough to make us drunk, but enough for me to open up a little. I felt reassured by them. I have a small group of friends, but we're close knit. For the first time in so long I felt like someone would listen to me.

Happy birthday!!!

So much is happening to me right now and I don't know how to properly describe it.. I guess I just feel detached from everything.

Two years ago I lost a friend to suicide, and just today I got the news that a friend from high school passed because of an illness. I feel like I'm losing everyone and just don't know where to turn to anymore.

Summary: (Requested) Request for Felix, been dating for a few months and she finally tells him she had her nipples pierced for a while now and he gets curios about them.

Warnings: This was only meant to be suggestive, but I got carried away, so it's smutty

Request here

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You and Felix had been together for a good few months now. You two haven't been very active sexually, the most you've done was suck him off maybe twice, but you've always declined his offer to return the favor. You weren't a virgin, your first time just sucked so you didn't want to jump into anything like that anymore as quick as you did with your previous partner. Today was different, however, in the sense that you were willing to finally take Felix up on his offer to go further.

He was at your house, both of you on your couch making out, "bedroom?" You asked through the kiss, felix nodding.

You both pulled away and made your way to your bedroom giggling like children.

You climbed on your neatly made bed and laid back, propping yourself on your elbows to watch Felix remove his shirt. His body was something that always amazed you, no matter how many times you saw it.

With only pants on, he climbed into bed with you, continuing your makeout session. He took your shirt off. Both of you pulling away to remove your pants, leaving you both in only your undergarments.

Felix's hands wrapped around you to to remove your bra, sliding it down your arms and throwing in on the floor with the rest of your clothes. He kissed down your chest, but then stopped.

"Oh, hello," he said smirking. You looked down to see that he was staring at your piercings, one in each nipple.

"Is this what you were hiding?" He asked, tweaking one of your nipples playfully.

"I wasn't hiding them," you moaned a little as he kept playing with them.

"Then how come I didn't know until now?"

"You never asked," you smirked.

"How the hell would that casually come up in a conversation?" He asked, sitting back on his heels now, his boner straining against his boxers.

"I don't know, that's why it never came up," you shrugged.

"For how long?" He asked, going in to play with them again.

"A-a while," you moaned as he took one into his mouth.

"Oh, I'll have fun with these later," he smiled, pulling away to finally remove his boxers and your panties.

He sat back against your head board, "ride me," he said, motioning for you to approach. You climbed onto him and guided himself into you.

He let you get yourself adjusted and set your own pace, his eyes on your boobs most of the time. Soon though, he put his hands on your hips, moving you himself faster. You stabilized yourself on his shoulders and let him control you. His eyes focused on your cheat, watching the way it bounced. He leaned forward and took one of your nipples into his mouth, making you cry out at the added stimulation.

You kept up your fast pace, one of Felix's hands reaching between you two to rub at your clit.

"I'm so clos-" your orgasm interrupted you, making you cry out and arch your back as you came. Felix came after you, pushed over the edge by the feeling of you squeezing around him.

He gave you a few more gentle and shallow thrusts before he pulled out and laid beside you. You both just laid there in silence catching your breaths.

"These were fun," Felix smirked, turning on his side to run his fingers over your boobs and over your piercings.

"Glad you enjoyed them, they hurt to get," you chuckled.

"Did you get them for me or something?" He asked.

"No, I got them after a drunken night with my friends," you chuckled.

Summary: (Requested) Hi~! I’d like to request for Hyunjin pls~ where they are next door & window neighbors and she has a huge crush on Hyunjin. But one day she builds the courage and strip teases him through the window. I don’t know~ something like that~!! >//

Warnings: Smut.. smut.. smut!

Request here

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Tonight was just like every night. You got ready for bed and got on your pjs, going to tour window and opening it. Almost at the exact same time, your neighbor Hyunjin opened his. You both did this every day; talk to each other through your windows.

"So, how was your day?" He asked, leaning his head on his hand.

"Fine, nothing much much happened, how about you?" You answered crossing your arms and resting your chin on them.

"More dance, but it's fun," he shrugged, flipping his hair from his face.

You couldn't help but watch him talk. Admire him in the moon light. Everything about him, you saw was beautiful.

Night passed, day came and you thought you would have some fun with your nightly routine with Hyunjin.

You went got ready for bed, but before changing into your pjs, you opened your curtains, giving Hyunjin a full view into your room. You waited, then when time time came, you removed your shirt first, watching Hyunjins reaction through the mirror in your room.

At first you saw his eyes widen and his mouth open. Next you took your bra off, seeing Hyunjin leave his window.

You felt bad now thinking he wasn't interested, but he returned a few minutes after, holding a handful of small rocks. You knew what he was planning and went to turn on some music. Soon you heard the small thuds of the rocks on your window, Hyunjin trying to get your attention.

You continued to ignore him, dancing a little to the music. You swayed your hips to the music.

Hyunjin eventually ran out of rocks, and you expected him to get more, but he didn't. You saw him eventually stop moving and just stare at you.

You slowly got dressed, still dancing, and you saw Hyunjin hide behind his curtains, but only his body. You could see that his eyes were still on you, peeking past the curtains. Eventually you were fully dressed, going to open your window and pretend you forgot Hyunjin lived across from you.

You opened your window and froze. Hyunjin left his window open and you could hear his moans. The way your name left his lips in breaths. You could only see a little bit of him behind the curtains, but you could see he was jerking off, and quickly. Everything stood still when he tried to peak at you again, only to see you watching him.

"I know what game you were playing," he smirked, tucking himself in his pants, but not bothering to even try to hide the fact that he was hard.

"Game? I don't know what you're talking about," you said exaggeratedly.

"Come over if you can," he said, not in the mood to continue playing.

"Can't, my parents are still awake at this time."

"Do they check on you?"

"No."

"Then climb through the window," he said, motioning for you.

"How?" The gap between your houses wasn't large, but it wasn't something someone could easily jump.

"Our houses aren't that tall, jump out and I'll pull you in here," he instructed.

Hesitantly, you climbed out of your window feet first, dropping yourself onto the ground below. The drop wasn't too far. You crossed to Hyunjin's window where his arms were hanging out for you. You reached up and he pulled you up, with help from the bricks of the walls of his home. With some effort, you eventually made it into his room.

"You better make this worth it," you huffed, "that was a lot of work."

"Don't worry, I will," Hyunjin smirked before pulling close to him by your waist and kissing you deeply.

You let him, kissing back and wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. He began to kiss down your neck, sloppy open mouthed kisses. You tilted your head back giving him more access and letting out a breathy moan.

He slowly moved the two of you to his bed. You felt the mattress against the back of your knees and Hyunjin gently laid you down. He removed his shirt before climbing on with you and resuming his kisses. You sat up and he removed your shirt, followed by your bra.

He then laid your head against the pillows, kissing down your body, paying extra attention to your nipples, until he made it to the hem of your pants. He removed your pyjama pants, pulling them down along with your underwear.

"Finally," he mumbled before his tongue licked up your center, from your hole and flicking your clit gently.

You moaned, but them bit it back nervous his parents might hear.

"Let me hear you, they aren't home," he smiled, kissing the inside of your thigh sweetly.

He continued, his lips and tongue on your clit and you felt him push a finger into you. You moaned and grabbed his hair, pulling his face closer. He moaned and sped up, adding a second finger.

He you could feel him smirk when you tightened around his fingers. He sped up, quickly bringing you to orgasm then helping you ride it out. As you caught your breath, he stood up and removed his own pants, his erection springing up, causing him to sigh in relief.

You leaned forward to grab him, but he stopped you, "not right now, I want to be inside you."

"Ride me," he mumbled, sitting against the head board. You climbed to straddle him and he grabbed his dick to guide himself into you. Both of you groaned in satisfaction you sunk yourself onto him, his hands going with to hold your hips.

He guided your pace, moving you with his hands. It started slow, almost loving.

"You feel so good," he moaned out before tilting his head up to kiss you. Your movements slowed as you kissed, but his hands on your hips kept you going.

When you sped up, he let you take control, his hands moving to knead your butt, spanking you slightly.

"I'm so close," you breathed in his ear. He nodded before pulling you off, making you whine.

"It's okay," he assured you, kissing your lips as he laid you down. He entered you again and built up a quicker pace, hitting your sweet spot perfectly. One if his arms was by your head, preventing him from crushing you, the other caressed your body, a stark contrast to his pistoning hips. His hand went down your body, before stopping at your clit and rubbing it.

He matched it with his hips, quickly bringing you to orgasm.

He watched you twitch and moan out, holding your hips in place as he kept going, chasing his own high.

Withing seconds, he pulled out and released on your stomach before dropping beside you to catch his breath.

"Hyunjin, you made a mess," you mumbled after a few seconds of silence. He looked at your stomach.

"Sorry, wait here," he got up and left the room before coming back with a wet rag. You reached out to grab it but he pulled it away.

"Let me clean you," he insisted, pecking your lips. He stated between your legs, spreading them and gently wiping you down before wiping his cum off your stomach. He threw the rag onto the floor before climbing back in bed with you, still naked. He pulled his covers over the two of you and pulled you close.

"I shouldn't sleep here," you said, getting up, "my parents will find out."

"Let them," Hyunjin pulled you back down, "then just tell them we're dating."

"Since when?" You asked jokingly, giving in and cuddling into him.

"Since today, you're my girlfriend now."

I feel like I'm leaving a lot of you guys hanging, so I feel the need to post something about it.. hehe.

Summary: (Requested) I’d like to request for Hyunjin, catching you (his bestfriend) touching yourself moaning his name.

Warnings: soft smut and a soft ending, be warned!

Request here

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It wasn't unusual for Hyunjin to let himself into your home without knocking, he would just shoot you a text to let him know he was on his way.

Did he text you? Yes

Did you see it? No

Your phone was charging, having completely died earlier. Hyunjin assumed you saw it and made his way over.

He opened the door with the key you gave him and let himself in.

"Y/N!" He called out, "I'm here!"

When he received no answer, he set the pizza he brought on your counter and went up to your room, assuming you to be asleep.

He approached your door, but heard something else instead.. was it his name?

He inched closer to your door that was open just a crack, just enough to give him a view of your bed. You were laid on your bed, your pants and panties gone as your fingers worked on yourself. Hyunjin didnt know what to do, part of him wanted to panic, you were his best friend after all, but the other part of him (the lower part) wanted to stay and watch. He ended up doing the latter.

He watched the way your back arched. He listened to the way you moaned his name.

Soon, his own hand subconsciously palmed his growing dick, making him wince at the contact. He pushed his hand into his pants, feeling his dick slick with precum. He hissed at his own touch. His hand worked on himself harder and faster, his orgasm coming, he could feel it, he tried to listen to you to help himself along, but you had gone silent..

"H-Hyunjin?" Your voice whimpered quietly, catching his attention. His previous actions had been loud enough for you to hear and he had un knowingly pushed the door opened even more, giving you full view of him. His hand froze in its place as he stared back at you. You had your blanket pulled up, covering yourself.

For a moment you two just stared at each other in pure shock.

"How long were you there?" You asked, breaking the silence.

"Um," Hyunjin cleared his throat, his hand letting go of himself and resting by his side, "a-a while.."

Your eyes scanned his body, landing on his boner that was pulled out of his pants and was still leaking precum. You hadn't finished yet either, and it was obvious neither did he.

"Care to join me?" You asked, gaining confidence.

"W-why?" Hyunjin asked, still in shock.

You removed the blanket from your body, spreading your legs for him to see, "because we could both use it."

Hyunjin's eye gazed at your core as he approached your bed, stopping beside it to quickly remove his pants and climb on. You sat up, wrapping your arms around his neck and slowly pulling him down to kiss him, mainly to make sure he wasn't going to back out.

Your lips met and his hands went to your hips, pulling close to him. His hands tugged the hem of your shirt and you pulled away to let him take it off before he removed his own shirt. His hands gently rubbed your back as you continued to kiss, before they stopped at your bra clasp. You could feel his one hand try to undo it and failing, then being joined with his other hand, but still failing. You giggled into the kiss, making Hyunjin pull away a little embarrassed, his hands still working at your bra. You turned around to let him see what he was doing. Eventually your bra came loose and you took it off, turning to him again, his face still red.

"Dont be embarrassed, bras are tricky," you smiled at him. He pouted playfully before pushing you lay down and situation himself between your legs.

Both of you were worked up, and had already brought yourselves close so neither of you bothered with any foreplay. Hyunjin propped himself over your body with his elbow beside your head. His other hand guiding himself to your entrance. He slowly entered you, making you both sigh in relief once he bottomed out.

He stayed still for a moment, being very sensitive because of his previous actions. Soon he moved his hip, slowly. His lips kept kissing around your neck, trying to distract himself. One of his hands rubbed at your clit.

"Faster, please! Hyunjin!" You begged, making his kisses stop and look at you, making eye contact before speeding his hips up. Not too fast or hard, but pleasurable.

He watched the way you moan, remembering how you looked when it was just you doing it to yourself. He felt a sense of pride that he got you to make those exact noises, maybe even more now.

"Jinnie! I'm close!" You moaned out, your legs wrapping around his hips. He sped up his thrusts, chasing both your orgasms. Within seconds, you both came. The feeling of you squeezing around him triggering his own and he pulled out, cumming over your stomach. He collapsed beside you, breathing heavily.

"Ew," you mumbled, looking down at his cum on your stomach.

He looked over at you, eyes widening when he saw, "I'm so sorry!" He quickly got up, rushing to your bathroom to grab toilet paper and wipe his cum off and throwing it out before lifting you and bringing you to the tub.

"What? Why?" You asked as he walked to your bathroom.

"I'm gonna clean you," he said, laying you in the tub and plugging it before running the warm water, "just relax."

The warm water engulfed you and just rested in it, "come in with me," you held your arms out for him and he nodded, climbing in behind you and pulling you close.

"I could get used to this," he said, nuzzling his face into your hair.

Summary: Can you please do a dance line smut where reader is Hyunjin's s/o and the dance line were horny when watching the reader dance

Warnings: Smut, Foursome

Request here

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You enjoyed dancing with your boyfriend, Hyunjin, and he enjoyed teaching you various dances. Today, you were accompanied by Minho and Felix.

"Just move your hips.. yes, like that!" Hyunjin coached you, his hands guiding your hips.

"Let's try it with the music now," Felix said, rushing to play the song you were dancing. All four of you danced to the song the whole way through.

"Whoo! That was good! We looked so cool!" You cheered when the song ended, "I gotta pee right now though."

"Go ahead, we'll wait for you," Hyunjin said, sending you off with a quick peck on the lips.

You left, heading to the bathroom to do your business. When you returned all three boyswere seated in a circle on the floor, their heads snapped up in your direction.

"K, let's go again!" You said happily, not thinking too much of it.

"Actually, we had something else in mind," Hyunjin said, approaching you slowly.

"What?"

"We want to watch you dance, just you," Minho said, sitting at the front of the room against the mirror.

"Me? Why did I do something wrong?" You asked.

"Just go, trust us," Felix said, taking a seat beside Minho.

Hyunjin smiled at you before turning the music on again and sitting beside Felix. You danced, feeling their eyes on you. They watched your every move. When the song ended, you stopped and waited for any feedback, or reaction, but all you got was Minho slowly applauding.

"You're really hot, you know that?" Hyunjin asked, getting up and kissing you passionately.

"B-but, Felix and Minho," you protested when Hyunjin started kissing down your neck.

"What about us?" Minho asked, going behind you and start kissing the other side of your neck.

"It's okay, Y/N, we spoke to Hyunjin, now, all I want to ask is if you're okay with this," Felix added.

"This?"

"The three of us, we all find you attractive."

You looked between the three guys, all of them giving you a hungry look.

"If you say no, we'll back off," Minho said, his thumbs gently rubbing your hips.

"Yes, yes, I want it," you said, nodding in approval.

"Great, thank you so much," Felix said, finally approaching you to touch you. His hands lifted your shirt off, Minho undoing your bra. And slipping it off you.

Hyunjin stepped back, removing his clothes and returning with only his boxers on. Minho and Felix pulled away from you to remove their own clothes, Hyunjin taking over and kissing you, "you sure you're okay?"

"Yea, I feel great," you confirmed, pressing a kiss to his lips and deepening it. He kissed back, his tongue snaking into your mouth. When you pulled away, Minho and Felix were already naked.

"Lay her on the couch," Minho directed, Hyunjin doing as he asked and maneuvered you to the couch. Hyunjin laid you down then moved to remove your pants and panties, leaving you bare.

"One rule, no one finishes inside her, only me," Hyunjim demanded, the other two nodding in agreement. Minho smiled, taking the spot between your legs and spreading them, the cold air hitting your center.

"Wet already?" He asked with a smirk, using a finger to run up your center, brushing your clit and collecting your wetness. He held his finger up, admiring the way it listened before licking it off, "So good."

He leaned forward, flicking his tongue over your clit then sucking it, making you whimper. Your arm wrapped around your face, covering it.

"No," Hyunjin mover your arm, "let us see."

You made eye contact with him and Felix as Minho triggered another moan through you by inserting his fingers.

"I'm close!" You moaned.

"Already?" Hyunjin teased, "you like this, don't you, being used by three guys."

All you could do was whimper before your orgasm washed over you. Minho detached himself from your scenter, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He switched spots with Felix, who lined himself up and slowly pushed in, making your moan loudly. Minho turned your head to the side, insterting his length into your mouth. Both boys fucked into you. When one left, the other entered. You could see Hyunjin watching you, his red cock standing tall. You tried to reach out to him to give him some form of pleasure, but he swatted your hand away.

"Later, baby, right now I want to watch," Hyunjin smirked.

Within minutes, you could feel a second orgasm coming, and the two boys could tell too. Felix felt you tighten and Minho felt your moans vibrating his cock. You hit your second orgasm, squeezing Felix's orgasm fromnhim, forcing him to pull out and cum all over your stomach. Minho came in your mouth and, despite your best efforts, your swallowed as much as you could, a little dripping out.

"Okay, back off, my turn now," Hyunjin said, getting up and approaching you. Minho and Felix left you, sitting on the couch where Hyunjin was. Hyunjin lifted you to straddle him, but you could barely hold yourself up.

"You okay babe?" Hyunjin asked as you lazily played on top of him.

"I'm okay, just tired," you said, placing a quick kiss on the side of his neck.

"You want to stop?"

"No, I want you," you turned his head to kiss his lips, making him smile and kiss you back.

"I'll do all the work then," he said, lining himself up with you and lowering your body on him, making him hiss at the relief. Hyunjin planted his heels on the floor and thrusted up into you, your moans being muffled by his shoulder. You turned your head to see Minho and Felix, both hard again, both stroking themselves at the same pace Hyunjin fucked into you.

Soon, Hyunjin's hips slowed and stuttered before he was spilling inside you, the two boys beside you also releasing all over their stomachs. Hyunjin slowly pulled you off him and laid you down on the couch.