LOSEr

So many people try to glamorize or romanticize their disorder relating it to words and images like “delicate” “butterfly” “fairy” “fragile” “dainty” etc etc. But nothing is less glamorous than popping your pants - or almost popping your pants - or having public diarrhea or something.

Since you’ve had such a journey, going down to such a low weight, forced recovery, relapse, etc. I was wondering if you’d have anything you’re comfortable sharing on this subject to show people that it’s truly the least glamorous thing to get wrapped up in

Also anyone who sees this if you have a story pls drop it - let’s show these young people that are still trying to glamorize eating disorders why they gotta cut that shit OUT

I was at school, everything seemed normal that day. It was a friday and from sunday to thursday i had been on a fast, eat nothing at all fast, (I cant even remember why) on Thursday however i binged, badly. I wasnt worried because it had been my first time fasting so long and i wasnt in pain at all on Thursday despite the binge.

So on friday in school i just went on with my life as if everything was normal, because things were quite normal for me, but suddendly i felt a pain in my stomach. I was relieved that school was nearly over and i could go home soon, because the pain kept getting worse and worse. I went straight to the bus station after school was over so i could get home, but i had to wait for 20 more minutes till the bus would come (i live in Germany we take public transportation, there is no special school bus home just the normal bus and sometimes you have to wait for a bit). I couldnt wait anymore tho, the pain was too bad. I called my mom, please please come im hurting so bad. She came but from home to school is 10-15 min with the car.

So now we get to the 💩 part. I was standing at the bus station, my whole class and others from school stood there waiting for the bus as well and suddendly there was an enormous wave of pain and i cramped and 💩 shot out of me. I just pooped myself in front of half my school.

I lowered my backpack, hoping nobody would notice, praying for my mom to come faster. For the pooping wasnt over yet and the pain continued to raise. I couldnt stay there so i changed sides to get away from everyone while continuing to poop my pants and finally like a blessing from heaven my mom appeared. But how to get in her car with poop all over me? I just fake sat down, like i held my body up with my feet and my back against the car seat and lifted my bottom. As soon as we turned the corner i just started to cry desperatly. My mom was an angel that day, i told her what happened (just the poop part and blamed it on my lactose intolerance) and she soothed me for the whole day. I was so embarassed i never wanted to return to school.

and like honestly? i have anorexia but this is why i constantly talk about the dangers of the “health and fitness” industry and diet culture bc we have essentially normalized certain symptoms of disordered eating but it’s ok if it’s under the guise of health i guess???

like how is calling it “clean” eating NOT a way to moralize food

how is intermittent fasting NOT the same thing as skipping meals

how come when i buy clothes that don’t fit, it’s something i have to tell my therapist about because it means i am putting pressure on myself to fit into them, but if a “normal” person does it then it’s just motivation for them?

where is the fucking line???

and more importantly when are we going to start acknowledging that the entire world is pro-ana but that’s too harsh of a description so we slap some health buzzwords on it to make it palatable

when are we going to take responsibility for encouraging disordered behavior instead of labeling those of us with EDs as the crazy/imbalanced ones

if y’all had bothered to watch the video, you would’ve seen the comparison between gigi hadid wearing denim shorts and a regular ass shirt and a normal fat woman wearing the exact same fit, and how drastic the reception was for the latter. it’s the exact same outfit, nothing revolutionary or new, i can’t even call it fashion—denim shorts and a t-shirt. yet the fat woman was mocked relentlessly online and said she looked like a racist, while miss hadid was praised for being a trendsetter and a fashion icon.

I think most people don’t understand know how it originated.

Back in the earlier day of the internet, a lot of anorexics and people with eds went on these early forums to discuss their issues. Some of these first forums would ban users if they said anything that wasn’t positive and recovery related. So the ed community made their own forums and called themselves proana meaning pro discussing their struggles and feelings while not in recovery. It was just ed people who werent ready to recover discussing how they felt.

This months choices are next months body.

This months choices are next months body.

This months choices are next months body.

This months choices are next months body.

This months choices are next months body.

This months choices are next months body.

This months choices are next months body.

This months choices are next months body.