alohamalihini

Rage is addictive, you know. I guess it’s sorta like a drug. Anger and hatred get you high. They get you high, but like any addiction, they hollow you out and tear you down and eat you alive.

Evaluation # 3 || Skylar Edlund || Recruit

I warned you about over exerting yourself. 

Since when is it my fault, when someone decides to play dirty? I swear I didn't provoce them this time.

Girls, oh how he hated girls. The top of the list was always those frilly bitchy girls back at his secondary school. Well not really all girls, but he would definitely prefer this seemingly crazy like girl than them. When she laughed, a laugh that conveyed both mockery and insanity, Daniel couldn’t help but tilt his head in though, a split second thought that made him stand up there and try. not. to. do. anything. This was just like what he felt back then, so many years ago. But this time, the girl was different she was way over a different league, but the outcome was still the same.As she was more and more agitated and her shouts were more and more infuriated… a kind of shout that he could feel people looking at them, he knew that he had lost the battle, but in the end not the war. He knew this feeling, he knew it as it was a kind of anger he had mustered back then and yet never tried to take advantage of. Daniel let himself be hit.

„I want you to let go of it.“, she imitated his voice, mocking the words. Everyone tried to be so bloody helpful and no one really knew that they were doing it all wrong. Skylar wasn’t sure if there even was a right way to console her. Maybe she wanted them to tell her to snap out of it. No one had done that and it took away her answer full of anger and spite. Comforting gestures weren’t something that the brunette grew up with and she didn’t know how to react. The ground she was standing on was shaking, breaking away beneath her, whenever someone tried to reassure her that it would be ok. Fuck the lot of them. She stared at him intensely, hoping to get him to avoid her gaze.

There’s nothing wrong with waking up early.  Just.  Not this early.

Are you crying? Don't start crying on me, sleepyhead. I won't give you any comfort.

He smiled, a smile not so different from any other smile beforehand, and yet the words that left his lips spoke a tone he didn’t even think he would say. “Nah, I don’t think so. Wesley did say otherwise. No matter how little I think of myself, I don’t think Division will ever see me as a lost cause.” That’s because he couldn’t… he would do anything, for himself, for Division and the people around him if given in that situation. Granted it seemed like such a far fetch thought, and yet he believed it in. Naive maybe, but real all the same. “I believe…” he shrugged, his poise went for defense rather than offense “that no one is weak, what is weak depends on how they act on it.” But that didn’t mean someone was weak just because they were releasing anger… sometimes to be strong, one had to be pulled down at quite the weight.

The laugh that hurried over Skylar’s lips wasn’t loud enough to draw everyone’s attention but the slight chuckle had an insane edge to it that was a warning sign. He might think himself so valuable but the truth was that no one inside Division was valuable enough to not be scrutinised and considered for cancellation just for the sake of it. He was making a fool out of himself by ignoring that the truth of the harsh reality. There was no way that the brunette could give him any answer to that since she couldn’t even bring herself close enough to his way of thinking to muster up a reply.

“It sounds beautiful. Very gentle and smooth. I mean I’ve only heard one word but the difference between Hawaiian and Russian is very clear.” Maya said in enthusiasm, hoping to hear her say more if Maya showed her eagerness to continue this conversation. “Would you like to teach me a few more words?” Maya asked, beaming at the other brunette excitedly as she hoped for a positive answer.

"Ehm..." Skylar took a tentative step backwards and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She felt her cheeks starting to burn and was immediately annoyed by the reaction. "Thanks. I love it a lot but... but I'm not sure that I.. ehm.. would be a good teacher or anything." No one ever asked Skylar to show hem what she knew, thinking her too arrogant and selfish to even consider taking time to enlighten them. In most cases they had been right of course and she often would just snap at them but right now she just felt overwhelmed by the simple request.

Evaluation # 2 || Skylar Edlund || Recruit

I never thought the perks of growing up included waking up at the ass crack of dawn, but whatever you say.

You don't know it, if you haven't tried it. Don't be such a princess about it. What's so wrong with getting up early?

A smile still on her face she handed Skylar the piece of paper, tilting her head in slight confusion at the unknown word that left the girl’s lips. “Ma- Mahalo?” Maya wondered, a giggle escaping her at the funny sound, never having heard anything like it. Yet she hoped to, always enjoying the sound of people speaking in their native language.

"Oh that's just thanks." Skylar hadn't even processed that the words had slipped out of her mouth. It seemed so natural but now it also made her remember that she hadn't spoken Hawaiian ever since she came to the bunker. "It's Hawaiian.", she added quickly, a bit offended that the other one was laughing at her but since it had been Maya who patched her up rather recently she didn't grow angry. She owed her.

It occurred to her belatedly that the question, which came purely from a place of curiosity, was a rather snide one, and Keira immediately felt guilty. She hadn’t meant to insinuate anything, and hoped the girl was not offended. She seemed melancholy as is, and Keira didn’t wish to add onto that. Her lips twisted in a pantomime of eating something sour at the notion that she might hurt anyone’s feeling with her words. She was abrupt – she knew that. She could be stinging with sarcasm she didn’t truly mean, and overextending in her familiarity with others. Even now, she fought the temptation to put a hand on Skylar’s arm, but stopped herself. The girl would most likely not welcome the touch of somewhere she barely knew, even if it was Keira’s natural way and a sign of her empathy for whatever the girl clearly was struggling through.

Even though she wanted to merely feign interest in the person beside her, Skylar noticed quite obviously the smile that formed on the other female’s lips when she listened to her speaking. She wondered if she was merely smiling because she found her interest amusing or if she actually shared her opinion. It didn’t occur to the brunette of course that Kiera might merely be reacting to the fact that the recruit was shedding her coat of ignorance ever so slightly because she didn’t ever feel herself smile when she saw someone talk animatedly about a subject to their heart. Instead Skylar grew continuously bored with listening and was not able to hide it.

“That doesn’t mean you should get used to experiencing less either.“ Maya said with a low voice, not wanting for anyone to take such abuse for granted. No one of them deserved to fear for their safety on a regular basis and if the recruits just would have been more aware of that rather than fighting each other they probably would live a better life down her. Stick together, don’t resist each other. It was a simple rule, one that Maya had hoped to convince others of ever since she was recruited and apparently … she had failed miserably, because most recruits shared the same mindset as Skylar and while she couldn’t wrap her mind around it she also couldn’t blame them for such behavior. Many of them had gone through horrible things, were forced to learn at a very young age that life was a survival of the fittest.

Skylar just blankly stared at the other brunette, not sure if she could fully grasp what she was trying to tell her. Logically it was what someone would say and she had read enough articles on the subject of abuse to realise that it wasn’t how things should be but that was just the part of her that was always thinking things through. Her subconsciousness didn’t agree with that assessment and so the recruit had never found it particularly disturbing. Had she revealed too much right now? She decided to not dive deeper into the subject matter if she could at all avoid it. The hassle was too big for her and Maya wouldn’t understand if she tried to explain and she was entirely unsure if she could even explain it at all.

Even though he was a good head or more taller than her, never in his mind did he think he was great at anything combat like, sure he had his moments of greatness back then, and he could of course try and be serious in what he was doing… if he had the point to be serious anyway. It wasn’t like he had to get out of the bunker that fast, and it wasn’t like this will be the only time he was going to go into sparring with someone. Rather than just defend himself, why waste time exerting energy?

The only reason why Skylar could resist rolling her eyes at the dark-haired was because it would quite possibly distract her attention from the primary objective, which was of course beating her opponent in combat. Admittedly it didn’t seem to be a big task at all, but the brunette had never been one to let down her guard that easily. Her brain had immediately decided that his answer wasn’t even worthy a real reply from her, so she kept her lips pressed together. Her teeth were grinding on each other in annoyance and anger and the ridiculousness that the other recruit displayed so openly. “Then maybe you should kill yourself before they decide to give you up a lost cause.”, she suggested then, not able to keep quiet after all. Someone so weak most decidedly didn’t deserve to be given a second chance after they screwed up. People like him were waste and weighted the world down, while the ones that actually enriched it were gone forever.

“Oh! Uhm … in that case … that’s totally fine. I guess.“ Maya said, stumbling over her words as she considered them carefully, not wishing to upset of offend the girl, knowing that she was always on thin ice with this particular female recruit. The last thing she wanted was to be forced to muster up her own hand-to-hand combat skills, especially since she wasn’t even sure that hers matched up with Skylar’s if her bruised fists were any indication for that assumption.

 Skylar let her gaze linger on the brunette’s face for a moment, considering how sincere her reply had been before deciding that she wouldn’t gain anything from pondering over that question for longer than she already had. She didn’t really know what had made her hesitate to agree with her but she also didn’t care. If the agent was having troubles voicing her thoughts then this was not something that she needed to consider on her end of things.