All the people want is vampires and a direct deposit of $5000

you guys have no idea what it’s like, to have a genuine and unironic christmas fetish, and to have several people posting on FuckedElf round the clock basically born from the idea of making fun of me specifically

Epic Rape Battles of History

new bit, it’s called “the wrong twin died.” any time you’re talking about an alive person who you dont like, say something like “yeah he sucks. the wrong twin died.” make up a fake story about how the person used to have a twin but the twin died tragically and they were probably nicer than the one who survived.

I think instrumence should be free for those who are pure of heart

u should be able to put ur hand down and let the instrument sniff u and if it smells a beautiful quality in ur heart and spirit that's ur instrument now. stray tumpet follow you home.. bwaa

if you were a mouse, these will be the dinosaurs…

say what you will about john mcafee (and you should.) but that guy could fucking post