@joyful-voyager, I've been trying to think what to say about you for two days now, since I first heard, and every time I do, that stupid Christopher Cross song "Think of Laura" comes into my head. I know you'd understand because we once had a conversation that referenced that song, which is about Laura from 'General Hospital' played by Genie Francis who's married to Jonathan Frakes who plays Will Riker on 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' and for us this isn't a particularly long chain of connections to Star Trek.
I "met" you, like so many of my favorite people, on the internet because of Kathryn Janeway, back when you were in college and I was a grad school dropout writing reviews and running a fan club. You understood what I meant when I said we watched the same Star Trek, which isn't true even of people I've sat beside watching the show. We both believed in the same values of that future.
And we wrote together, edited each other, edited other people together, co-created manifestos, shared a universe that holds up today. You came to visit it on a Tuesday night not long ago, after you were diagnosed but before you knew how little time you had left. I wanted to ask you to put your husband and daughter on so I could see their faces in real time -- I hadn't spoken to him since the late '90s, before your wedding, when we were both on land lines, and I only knew her through you -- but I thought there would be another week, that your optimism alone might get you through.
When we reconnected on Facebook after a few years in different forums, you sounded like you might live forever. You ran because you loved it; the fact that it was good for you was always secondary. You told me at some point that you thought you had torn a muscle or cracked a rib. I couldn't believe it when it turned out to be late-stage breast cancer.
I have a treasured autographed copy of 'I Was Amelia Earhart' on my desk because you sent it to me, and I'm never going to read anything about Amelia without thinking of you. I'm never going to watch "The 37s" without thinking of you. I have a copy of a copy of a photo of Spock and McCoy (I believe I sent the first-generation copy off to Texas A&M along with the rest of my Trek fan collection, which includes some letters from you and some first drafts of articles that ended up in 'Now Voyager'), with a caption that's both too rude and too obscure to repeat, and because of it I will never think of Dr. McCoy without thinking of you. I have a folder with your name on it of drafts you sent me, sometimes just a paragraph that led to an entirely different piece of writing, but I kept even the scraps because they were so creative and heartfelt and usually hilarious all at once.
You once sent me a manuscript called "Joy" to copy edit, and that's the word I most associate with you. I will always miss you.
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