RP meme blog

The crew at ABIS is back at it again, so some prompts from No Sleep for Kaname Date! CW bugs, language

"Apologies, but dealing with aliens is not part of the job description."

"Perish the thought! I am a chaste man pure of heart and soul!"

"Time to nuke you in the microwave."

"Now.... My sweet little kitten..."

"Well, if it has anything to do with you, be sure to turn yourself in, okay?"

"It would make life a little easier for us old guys! We pay taxes too, don't we?!"

"I understand that this is a cry from your heart, but paying taxes is your civic duty."

"I may walk the shadows, but I would never dodge a shadow ban!"

"Oh, I'm not telling you for free... That info is worth at least 10,000 yen."

"Wow, that's three of the most commonly-used phrases in abusive work environments!"

"Sometimes he gets so tired, he confuses sugar and tumeric."

"Show me that. Show me that right now please."

"Those are clearly the eyes of a freak!"

"What are you all saying? That is clearly #000080."

"It seems that I was possessed and said something without knowing it..."

"Is this how he triggers maternal instincts?"

"Do you mean, because I look all nice and good-natured, but I'm actually very cunning?"

"Looking at coffee beans always reminds me of rabbits."

"Just two guys hanging out, nothing but water between us."

"I did use to stuff matryoshka dolls with gunpowder to make explosives. My parents got mad at me a lot."

"Why not let her bash away your sad memories?"

"Besides, everyone has a skeleton or two in their closet, right?"

"I am certain your closet is full of skeletons."

"I see a button, I push a button. It's a guy thing."

"Oh, my dear pallid princess. May I embrace you, here and now?"

"There was an adorable pleasing fungus beetle!"

"My precious little pleasing fungus beetle... It... It's gone!"

"Only the most heinous of people would cook and eat my poor insect friends!"

"Don't talk like you don't know the exact number of moles I have on my ass."

"Okay! Waaaake uuup~♪ Fiiight oooon~♪ You aaaare so stroooong and mightyyy~♪"

"Lullabies are supposed to put babies to sleep, not hype them up."

"This is an average sitting experience."

"Are you saying that guys with knives are "ordinary"?"

Average D&D game shenanigans continue. CW drugs, innuendo/suggestive content, death, murder, unsanitary, and tomfoolery

"LISTEN. If I were to be murdered horribly, I would be happy to be covered in glitter at my funeral."

"Bed gravy is an upsetting phrase."

"I don't do magic shit, but I could be persuaded to do cult shit."

"I love me a good DIY hole."

"Give me a number or else jon arbuckle will never fuck again."

"I WANT YOU TO CHUG LIKE YOU'VE NEVER CHUGGED BEFORE!"

"Every time you ask me a mechanics question, we invent a new kind of body horror that's never been seen before!"

"Sometimes the truth doesn't sound so friendly."

"I just circle my destinations on the food map..."

"Wait let me find this horny fan art quick and then I'll go in."

"I live in--[audio echoes] ignorant bliss."

"The meatball man gave me the jam."

"He's genderfluid AND a dilf."

"I've always wanted to ride a hot centaur grandpa..."

"oooohhh.... I just learned how to make acid......."

"I mean the melting kind of acid, not the drug."

"Yeah, if you don't have thumbs, you don't have to obey the laws of man."

"I like dry body horror."

"Oh, speaking of soaking-"

"I got a fever of a hundred and peeeeeeeeeee~"

"What's the point? What do you get out of child murder?"

“I won’t rest until I kill this toddler.”

"I will not die in New Jersey."

"Maybe I'm more in tune with the alkaline because I've sucked on batteries before. Gives you the nice tingly feeling."

"Why don't you get some digi-BITCHES?"

"As captain planet would say-- AAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"That's a lawsuit waiting to happen."

"You can't hide from me. And it's probably about time you stop hiding from yourself, too."

"FUCK YOU I'M A GAMER!"

Once more, the groupchat is back at it again. CW for suggestive content, violence, language, and general tomfoolery.

"Can I buy the maid outfit yet, now that we've got that out of the way?"

"Stupid monsters, I'm trying to deliver a baby!!"

"NOT hee-hee! UN hee-hee!"

"Okay in my defense, I was pulled into a wormhole?"

"HOW THE FUCK IS A BABY GIVING IN TO DESPAIR!?"

“You would look really funny in a hydraulic press.”

"Do you think Icarus and Apollo would be considered toxic yaoi?"

"Legs are just long feet."

"KILLING BABIES IS NOT BASED."

"I'm just going to keep tossing you on the bed. Is this fun for you? Is this why you keep coming back here?"

"You leave my mother's sauce out of this."

"JUST EAT GRASS."

"God, you rolly polly bastards!"

"YOU want to eat it because it looks like marinara. I want to eat it because it looks like paint. We are not the same."

"You can't parry an explosion."

"I wanted to make my walker more exciting so I replaced the tennis balls with bike horns, do you like it?"

"I wanna be a cultist :("

"M-S-C O-U-S, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MICKEY MOUSE!"

"I'm wishing so hard. I'm wishmaxing."

"I'm wish pilled."

"I bet it would be fun to bite into the middle of a gogurt and suck it out."

"Baby are you a lock? Because I'm going to beat you to death with my key."

"WILL YOU FINISH YOUR NEOPETS DAILIES"

"Crisping all by yourself, handsome?"

"The B52's are my ideal polycule."

"In another life all I wanted to be was a cockatoo eating pizza with you."

"Oh god. He's glistening."

"I'm like reverse clown jesus?"

"I love them dearly but their mould is their fault."

We are serious roleplayers I promise. CW: suggestive, drug use, violence/death mentions

"You know what they say! In this world it's milk or get milked."

"No, no, I am NOT making Jerry Seinfeld canon in the d&d campaign."

"Let the fartening commence."

"Pray tell, fair maiden. What is the quesadilla prank?"

"Oh, I forgot about grandma nut!"

"I would love to hit Mickey Mouse really bad."

"I'm gonna eat sand."

"You've been given wifi by god!"

"Did god give us 4G or LTE?"

"That would be latitude 69, longitude 420!"

"MY HOTDOG!!!!"

"Yeah, well! We were fighting god and killed him a lot faster than we expected."

"Mad milf mondays are back, boys!"

"Not sure how to feel about mad milf mondays being a clue, though."

"If there's one thing you should know about me, its that I love a dead body!"

"Open up a Jiffy Lube in the bathroom."

"Yep, no more space jam. I'm sorry."

"The book is unconscious."

"Um, I'd like to know who watch2gether user "big penis" is supposed to be?"

"WAIT UNTIL YOU HEAR ABOUT ORGANIC HORSES!"

"NO! I need you to tell me in detail how you are intimidating this man while cowering on top of a book shelf!"

"Did you just slam the 5 nights at Freddy's door on me?!"

"At least take it down to the Fantasy Genius Bar."

all icons are 100x100px, cropped by me!

Likes or Reblogs are appreciated, but not required. Spoiler warning in the zip file!!

My groupchat continues to say some things. CW: violence, suggestive, explicit language

“Dogs can be buff.”

"Do these balls explode?"

"It's like Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots but more intimate!"

"It's free and easy! Making orphans!"

"Please don't make my cat a Tumblr sexyman."

"Is your cousin a matryoshka doll???"

"And then they were like 'ooh, I wanna get in on this hostage situation'."

"Oh man, if I've learned anything, it's that a dead end means I'm about to be jumpscAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-"

"God gave me skill issues when he put me on this godforsaken planet."

"Give me a moment, I'm about to get on the violence counter."

"Oh, let's see how far down I can dig before I hit bedrock."

"Can't believe I'm about to say this, but I need to stop thinking about women if that's the case."

"My great grandmother was an Xbox."

"I'M BEING CONDEMNED BY THE OTHER WIFE GUY?"

"She requested the gun."

"His ass is gonna be grass, and I've got a lawnmower."

"I saw you fighting god in my bedroom."

"Friends are the most fun people to lie to!"

"Dress for the ass you want, not the ass you have."

“Like. I know who he’s the ancestor of, but after he pulls this shit, I don't know how he gets laid.”

"If you're getting cheese straight from the tit I think you need to check your goat."

"I was so ready to enter simp city, and you ruined it."

My groupchat has said some things alright! CW: violence, unsanitary, suggestive

"We’re just goin back and forth, sniffing"

"Squishmallows? What kind of dessert is that?"

"I want to look at sliced up bodies!!"

"He also gets possessed, if you're into that."

"If a ghost kills me I will do everything in my power to haunt y'all and prove ghosts are real."

"Lightning Mcqueen is not Italian."

"I don't care if your friends are dead, clean your fucking toilet."

"This is between my pits and God."

"See where that guy's standing? We peed there."

"First funeral, then titty club."

"First we bawl, then we ball."

“I would be HAPPY to shit in the ocean.”

"We have arrived at the chuckle-fuck station."

"Sir, I am a flaming homosexual."

"CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST ASK FOR A NORMAL THING LIKE A REESES CUP?"

"Well, back to killing people I guess."

"I would LOVE some applesauce. I could Fuck Up some applesauce."

"It looks like a cloud. Name it among us."

"Well, I know who not to call when I'm in my next hostage situation."

"I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT- oh, yeah, that's fucked up."

"Grandpa has breached containment."

"I didn't even know we were married."

"That's how good the divorce was!"

Because these are serious games about betrayal and murder. CW: suggestive/mild sexual content, blood/violence mentions.

"It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway, to be honest..."

"Look, ___! It's a snowman secret meeting!"

"Have you got a thing for feet, ___? You're actin' kinda shady..."

"___, are you flexible like an octopus or something?"

"What do you mean, "What the hell is a funyarinpa"? You mean... you don't know?"

"Apologize! Say you're sorry to the funyarinpa!"

"The rust on here looks like Elvis's face!"

"It's a bottle with people liquid in it."

"Playin' with mannequins, huh? Didn't know you were into that kinda thing, ___."

"Hey man, I just bought these shoes. If you think I'm getting some creepy dude's blood all over 'em, you got another think comin'."

"How about we put it on your face then light it on fire?"

"I'm not an exhibitionist! I'm wearing clothes!"

"It stands for Adult Erotic Doctor."

"Yo yo yo, where my boys at?"

"Remove these shorts of obfuscation and let us gaze upon it-this so-called "hose"!"

"You can take your LAME-ARY GAME and SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!"

"Sooner or later, everybody puts up with ___!"

"It's a dirty magazine... Just look at those rings on Saturn. Don't they excite you?"

"Gotta grab it jellyfast!"

"Oh my God! There's dihydrogen monoxide coming out of that faucet!"

"I have to get back to my... ehe... grandpa videos?"

"You know what they say; Swimsuits never quit."

"___-chan is hella moe! ___-chan is hella moe!

"If only there was a cat in here. Neow that would purrfectly calm my nerves... Ah, if you can't tail, I kind of have a litter tic. Whenever I talk about cats, I..."

"FUCK YOU YOU GODDAMNED OLD MAN!"

"THE FUCK...?!"

"I know! Let's cut ___'s arm off!"

"I gotta be the world's happiest kid!"

"I really, truly love ice cream."

"A, because I think you're adorable. B, because you are so beautiful! C, because you're very cute! D, because you're my darling! E, because you make me excited...! F, because you're like a feather in my arms..."

From episodes 1-10. Change pronouns as needed!

“We’re going to be killing a lot of spiders, because we’ve gone into the exterminations business.”

“We don’t like him very much.”

“Has no one questioned why a giant tree has a god-forsaken mustache?”

“Get used to the way that looks! Because [laughs] you’re never getting rid of it.”

“The grass grows very quickly, and that’s because there’s a mustached tree giving it energy.”

“I’d feel cursed too, if I had a dungeon inside me.”

“Did you see that big pineapple? Stay away from it.”

“We’re counting on you, random boy! Go!”

“Stay away from the well, the very scary well.”

“Pick up the chicken, pick up the- oh my god, pick up the chicken.”

“That fish attacked you! Did you see that?”

“You’re doing a really good job catching sand.”

“Whoa…… there is definitely a mushroom growing under my arm, bro.”

“Why are you still staring at that fish?”

“I’m proud of my fish, thanks.”

“[Name], this is a beautiful lake full of pure clean water, so please don’t pee in it.”

*sighs* “Hipsters…”

“They can’t talk out their butts. Unlike me.”

“God, they are itchy, aren’t they?”

“You can talk to him again, he’ll probably… say words.”

“Maybe they’re very honorable, they won’t gang up on you-”

“They’re wussies.”