CJ’s ShitPost

watching my promised afternoon thunderstorm slip from a 90% chance to a 20% chance.... baby come back i can change

Mildly intoxicated, didn’t even realise it wasn’t them at first bc I saw the brightly colored shirts lmao

it's actually evil that i can't eat slime. stop making it look so edible and be a toxic chemical choking hazard at the same time

[image ID: A drawing of a yellow emoji with a smirking face rubbing its hands together. It's captioned with white text with a black background. Caption reads "when the sidewalk has" and bottom text reads "trees that reduce surface temperatures by up to 25°f and provide a deightful respite from the heat and sun". /end ID]

sometimes when im jorkin it to fanfic i think oh man what if i get too worked up and have a heart attack adn then the police find my body and check my phone for my emergency contacts and see filthy jayvik smut on it. which im sure has nothing to do with the longstanding sexual repression that came from my religious upbringing

im 21 btw and have no heart problems whatsoever. this is a thought that occurs to me regularly and has since i was a teenager. so im normal

crucially this does not happen when i have gay sex though. so. loophole!!!

you want to be romantically attracted to someone? the thing that killed romeo and juliet?

— Benedick at the beginning of Much Ado About Nothing

companies make billions from you thinking you're ugly btw. only ugly thing is their bottom line. log out of tiktok right now.

learning to ask 'is this an ad' will save your life

Daily fucking reminder that Luigi Mangione is innocent, completely and fully. He has been convicted of no crime. He has had no fair trial. He is a SUSPECT. Luigi Mangione is entirely innocent and everyone needs to stop parroting this insidious propaganda that he “committed” the crime he is only SUSPECTED of. He is not a murderer. He is not a criminal. He is an innocent man.

it’s so evil when you have a beverage and you drink it and then there’s no beverage anymore

stop playing it cool, just be passionate and intense and insane and whoever sticks around is meant for you