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I break my own heart by expecting people to be as attached to me as I am to them.

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Ilya Kaminsky, from "While the Child Sleeps, Sonya Undresses", Deaf Republic

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You got a new tattoo. I didn’t know that. Why does it feel like I can’t breathe now

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“Healing Grotto” by Cindy Baedman

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sorry for acting batshit crazy I was feeling a little unwanted

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jessicaleemarianne

If I could I would pull your roots out of my twisted stomach and tear myself in two. It doesn’t matter how much it would make me turn, over and over, if my lungs could breathe without asking whether they are supposed to.

I wish I could swallow my hands and dig through the crevices in my abdomen and tear it all open and pour myself out. If I could make it, this skin would burn and flake and leave me, and I’d never have to look at where you bruised me.

But I am not wise. I am not effervescent in the face of sorrow. I am only a girl, and if you tell me you want to see through my eyes and touch with my hands, I will believe you. If you are a fountain then I drink from you even when your water is grey and holds your resentment. I will put it inside of me, for I don’t know the difference between what nourishes me and what kills me; as long as for a moment, I am quenched.

jessicaleemarianne

Every few years I die. I died when I was 11, then 14, then 17, and again at 19, and again when I was 22. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, I just die! And I do always come back, thank goodness, and now I am 23 and growing a bean stalk right from my toes and through my mouth and into the stars, and that is how I will live again this time.

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