patron saints of one way trips

ryland grace was the last born of the royal family. the odd one. the black sheep. he was intelligent but clumsy. a great thinker but a bad talker. his two older brothers were far more worthy of being leaders than he was and therefore, ryland knew since he was old enough to understand that he wasn’t and will never be the favourite. his mother once told him that colt, his older twin brother, was everything she could’ve wished in a son. ryland was nothing but a failed copy. and of course there was court, the oldest, the prodigy, to whom the throne had been promised even before he was born. ryland knew he could never compete. he never really made peace with it.

when he turned 20, his dad decided he had enough of seeing him with his head buried in a book all day and stated that from now on, he was going to follow military training just like his brothers did years ago. ryland never did because his mom insisted it was useless and a waste of resource, there was no way they could make a soldier out of him. but the king did not agree.

this is how ryland found himself hardly holding a sword in his hand in the training room, facing the 19 year old general, simon.

"you’re supposed to attack me now," simon said, voice still as deep and gravely as the first time ryland heard it.

"uh… sure."

ryland couldn’t have sounded less sure of himself if he tried. he took a few hesitant steps towards simon and lifted the sword.

"if we were in a battlefield i would’ve have the time to kill you at least five times in this time span," simon stated bluntly. he sighed at the sheepish look ryland gave him. "put that sword away, i’m not doing this."

ryland let out a soft "oh" before putting the sword back in its sheath. when he looked over at simon again, he was sitting on a bench against the wall.

"i’m… sorry."

"don’t be, it’s not your fault. i just don’t see what’s the point in doing this."

ryland huffs a bitter laugh as he gets closer to where simon is sitting. he ends sitting next to him.

"tell that to my dad."

"and being irradiated from the army? no thank you."

"i would defend you."

they looked at each other and smiled. oh god, simon was so beautiful.

i have no fucking clue how medieval times were like or whatever so uh. take what i say with a grain of salt.

but i think that simon was definitely an orphan that fought his way to earn a spot as a knight and a general. that being said, i think he was a bit more worried about earning respect than having a basic education.

so, in return for keeping his mouth shut and not forcing him to actually learn how to fight, grace brings his books and basically tutors simon. he teaches him everything from literature to chemistry at the start, but once he knows the basics grace lets simon make requests on what he wants to learn the next time they meet. and simon is an incredibly quick learner — it’s not long before their meetups drift from just grace talking to actual, intellectual conversations about complex topics that would typically bore or confuse anyone else. for once, grace isn’t just talking without anyone understanding him, and simon is being valued as a person with thoughts and ideas without being overshadowed.

obviously, they both start catching feelings, and neither of them are very sure what to do with it. (are medieval people homophobic? probably tbh. you can add internalized homophobia if you like more angst.) i’m assuming it’s very frowned upon for royalty to pursue a knight romantically, much less one that used to live off of scraps. and i’m sure simon’s got his own internal battle with not deserving love, especially if we have something like the filament station happen here too. now that i’m thinking about it, it’s probably extra frowned upon for anyone (let alone a prince) to be dating a “traitor.” (is there a medieval times word for a convict? i’m assuming it’s just traitor tbh) i think things would get veryyyyy awkward between them because neither of them know shit from a buttfart about courting someone. obviously, it’ll boil over at some point and grace probably ends up spontaneously kissing simon without thinking one day before panicking and running off.

But I WILL be blocking anyone and everyone that uses their dislike of the crossover and the ship to be disrespectful to its fans and Markiplier.

ESPECIALLY Markiplier actually. Phm fans have been horribly racist and disrespectful towards him recently under the guise of being aroace or liking a different ship better. It’s incredibly rude and hypocritical to bash on fans that saw the similarities of both these stories and wanting to explore the idea of them coming together, as well as to Mark who has fought to make his own movie and produce it completely independently.

Calling Mark another white man to ship Grace with in the same breath of calling Bloodymary fans racist and misogynistic?? I’m blocking you yeah!! Idc how much you like my other stuff or if we’ve been friendly before that’s stupid shit!!! That’s embarrassing and stupid.

is ryan gosling conventionally attractive? yes. i can’t deny that. but grace?

this guy?

that’s a conventionally unattractive man at his CORE. this fucker discovered how an alien species reproduces, and when presenting it to scientists from all over the world, he fully said “whoomp, there it is!” that is NOT something a hot man would say. this is a loser stuck in ryan goslings body. do NOT let the beautiful face fool you this guy is a girlfailure

Tree Simon bloodymary AU! I might make more of this guy, I like him. He makes me want to start yet another fic.

Partly inspired by this post and tree!simon content by @beloved13579

For your consideration:

i’m gnawing at the bars of my enclosure this is so peak

Project Hail Mary // Incorrect quotes 6/?

Bonus:

Grace’s video diaries continue! I really loved the aspect of Grace’s vlogs in the movie

I got the idea for this when I saw a funny post of Grace filming himself while Simon walked by with no explanation given from Grace and decided yes, more.

I’m not used to animating so excuse how it looks, it took like a night(?) of me trying to relearn how clip studio paint works

Saw this and immediately went “okay so that’s Grace and Rocky” like I couldn’t NOT do this