OwO What’s This?

Based on a convo from the TT Discord. I haven’t written anything in a super long time so sorry if this sucks a little. Also this is more of a crack fic than anything.

  Firebrand stood in the empty gas station parking lot, dejectedly staring at the space where the car was supposed to be. He was initially confused but quickly figured out what had happened. Fuckers took the car. The god wasn’t sure why he was even surprised that this had happened, but he was still sort of baffled that the bastards managed to pull it off so quick. He had stepped inside the mini mart to pay for the gas, and the frightened cashier made the transaction as fast as humanly possible. Probably something to do with his many eyes. Expressionless, Firebrand retrieved his phone from his pocket and dialed Noah’s number. Halfway through the first dial tone, Noah picked up and Firebrand was immediately assaulted by the sound of extremely loud music and a lot of screaming.

  “OH THANK GOD YOU HAVE TO HELP ME-“   Firebrand flinched and held the phone away from his ear. He could still hear Noah screaming through the receiver.   “Slow the fuck down, you’re driving on the wrong side of the road- oH FUCK LOOK OUT!”     Ruckus laughter followed, as well as what sounded like a car horn and a large truck speeding by. Ah. So Prebrand was driving.

“Noah what-“ Firebrand was cut off before he could finish. “He stole the fucking car and he won’t let me out, he’s trying to play chicken with every 18 wheeler we see, please for fucks sake help me!”

  Firebrand could barely hear a protest of “Hey, at least it’s more fun than Rendezvous driving!” though it was hard to hear over Cha Cha Slide blasting in the background.

“Wait, where is Rendezvous? I thought he was driving?” “He was but Prebrand locked him in the trunk while we were at the gas station.”

“Shit.”

“I know!”

  The god was silent for a moment, ignoring what sounded like an argument on the other end of the phone as he thought of how to fix this mess. A few of his eyes caught sight of movement behind a nearby tree. Suspicious, he moved closer, recognizing a dark silhouette. It was Observer. He was slinking away and looking very satisfied with himself, several metal bolts clutched in his hands. He must have been fucking with the tires again while everyone was distracted. Asshole! Firebrand thought. At least Prebrand wouldn’t be able to take the car much further before two of the wheels fell off.