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@skello-mello
stretching my back and other joints medievaltorturestyle

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I am a grown ass adult and I still get nausea when I feel like I'm in trouble. They're gonna send me to the principals office and take away my toys for a week. Can you just fucking kill me instead of making me stew in my fucking anxiety
A couple days ago I didn't eat anything all day at work then went home, still ate nothing cause im lowkey killing it and the next day I almost passed out at work. Hmm how could that have happened? I was so proud afterwards tho I've never almost passed out from not eating before.
That day I was at 136.6 and I remembered I started all this at 189 so I've literally lost like 50 pounds now I'm so happy. But I look in the mirror and see a small change not such a big change but I'm still losing so I'll get skinny soon I can do it I've gotten this far. Although when I weighed myself this morning I was at 138.8 and I felt so horrible but if I just don't eat anything else today I'll be back on track.
For some reason not eating really helps me lock in at work idk why but I'm glad about it. And I've been getting so many bruises lately I don't think it's related to 3d bc I've been living a lot of heavy stuff at work lately.
ANOTHER THING I've been lifting for the past month or 2 and when I roll up my sleeves it holds up from my muscles now which is so cool. It's not like I'm super buff it's barely noticable but still I'm proud.
One of my bosses at work repeatedly compliments me and I love it I feel so valued and seen by him he's the best manager we have. He keeps saying how if they could I'd be employee of the month every month which is so nice of him to say he's the best. I'm so lucky I really like my job.
ngl totally tmi but I ate a whole bag of chips and container of chip dip in 2 days I feel horrible buuuuuut I am having such diarrhea and it's great I feel like I got lucky and have no long last repercussions from this binge so W for me today
nvm I gained half a pound FUCK
ngl totally tmi but I ate a whole bag of chips and container of chip dip in 2 days I feel horrible buuuuuut I am having such diarrhea and it's great I feel like I got lucky and have no long last repercussions from this binge so W for me today

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βThis is a war universe. War all the time. That is its nature. There may be other universes based on all sorts of other principles, but ours seems to be based on war and games.β
William S. Burroughs
How can I just stop everything for like a second just to take a breath please
I'm luckily unlucky
The other day on my lunch break I got a burger and it's so good but I only ordered it cause I had chugged a monster and felt really good that day and thought I did a good job at work but then I was so embarrassed to eat it in front of so many people who see how fat I am and my Manager who I have a mini crush on brought me my food and he's so skinny I feel horrible it's been 2 days and I still feel like I'm going to puke ackkk

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my tips for f4st!ng <3
1. distract yourself! if you're at home i'll admit this is a little hard, but it IS very helpful :)) clean your room! do your makeup! do your nails! listen to music! make playlists! call your friends! make your bed! organize!
2. try on clothes that are too small for you! this one gets me the most, it's rlly triggering knowing that you aren't there yet (at least for me)
3. look at th!!!nsp000! i prefer looking it up on here or pinterest!
4. make lists of clothing you want to buy at your gw, if you f4st maybe you'll actually be able to fit into them one day
5. sleep!!! this one is the hardest for me lolz :p but you can't feel hungry if you're asleep :)
6. go on a walk! go walk around your neighborhood! or walk up and down your stairs! walk in circles in your room! it burns c4l0r!3s & distracts you :))
7. drink water!!! when you first wake up drink water, when you feel hungry drink water, when you feel tired drink water, when you want to quit drink water
8. stay away from the kitchen! the food in there is gross anyways & you don't need it! if you're not around food you won't want it as much!
9. dye your hair! this is usually very time consuming & will most likely take your mind off food
10. paint your nails! i know i included this earlier but i feel like it includes its own section :)) if your nails are wet you can't really eat food.
11. keep a reminder of your w3!ght! if you have a mirror in your room write your w3!ght on it, constantly remind yourself that's how much you w3!gh.
12. write your w3!ght on your hand! any time you go to grab food you'll see it and remember why you're doing this, how far you've come and how much farther you have to go.
there's def more but this is all i can think of rn! if you have any helpful tips share them in the comments <3
sooo i was researching what cardio exercises i can do to burn calories, i figured jogging in place was a good one!
holy shit BOY WAS I RIGHT
i donβt rlly like exercise but i found a website that tells you how many calories you burn for however long you jogged in place for based on your weight.
i weigh 175lb and jogging in place for an hour burns 667 CALORIES. i DO NOT CARE if im dripping sweat, THIS IS A CHEAT CODE.
the website is fitwatch.com btwπππ
reasons i need to lose weight . . .
1 ) love the way i look
2 ) fit my clothes better
3 ) get more compliments on my outfits
4 ) have more variety for clothes
5 ) to have less of a box shape
6 ) won't get call "regular" or "standard"
7 ) to not feel addicted to sweets
8 ) to cleanse my insides
9 ) make it easier to eat healthy
10 ) build habits that make me a better person
11 ) feel more motivated to clean, take care of myself, etc
12 ) i'll be able to fit into all of my friends clothes
13 ) i won't look fat if i ask to eat out
14 ) no rolls when i sit
15 ) collarbones will stick out so far water can get stuck in them
16 ) thighs will no longer touch
17 ) won't sweat easily/as much
18 ) fell more comfortable in my own skin
19 ) i won't have an indent on my bed whenever i lay down
20 ) can get through small places easier
21 ) won't be scared to sit on someone/next to someone
22 ) to feel more light
23 ) not to take as much space up
24 ) be able to sit in the child position wo feeling fat π
25 ) nails to be blue, hands to be pale constantly
26 ) to look better in pajamas
27 ) no double chin
28 ) to look like the character i relate to
29 ) not to get as winded when going up stairs
30 ) to reach my full potential
i'll add to this whenever i find more reasons, i'm doing this for me. to love myself as much as i can.
i had 2 job interviews and I have been being led on for a month now and ive been calling and im trying to pressure this guy into hiring me cause ik he's a pussy cause ik some people who work there I'll let you know how it goes
fuck bro i have just a really bad back cause genetics/scoliosis I'm not totally sure why but it makes walking and running hard cause it hurts a lot. its not cause im fat cause im not so fat that i have health issues but i just have really shitty bones i was gonna get tested for a possible autoimmune disease but the appointment was FUCKING 600 DOLLARS and my parents are poor i still dont have a job and even if i have smth what does it matter whether its diagnosed or not they cant really do much ab it but if i had a better back i would just
run and walk and run and walk and run and run and walk and run and walk and run and walk and run and walk and run and walk and
AMERICA πΊπΈπ¦

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fuck bro i have just a really bad back cause genetics/scoliosis I'm not totally sure why but it makes walking and running hard cause it hurts a lot. its not cause im fat cause im not so fat that i have health issues but i just have really shitty bones i was gonna get tested for a possible autoimmune disease but the appointment was FUCKING 600 DOLLARS and my parents are poor i still dont have a job and even if i have smth what does it matter whether its diagnosed or not they cant really do much ab it but if i had a better back i would just
run and walk and run and walk and run and run and walk and run and walk and run and walk and run and walk and run and walk and
i stopped caring for a few days and i hate myself for it. idk how i do it but i go from eating like 600c or nothing on a good day then go to like 1800 without a care then go back to eating less again. pretty much i saw a youtube vid ab how bad ed stuff is on tiktok and they used kingkrabbypatty and livsschmidt and i followed them and started walking to get my step count so clearly the youtuber did a good job lmfao