Balance 💀

I don't like how my brain's wired.

How my emotions connect to my memories connect to my subconscious.

What are the first 3 things on your mind when you rise for another day?

Probably ain't the same as me.

I'm quite an embarrassment, really, how I let my emotions control my way of thinking.

And I don't even fight it.

Maybe I'm sick enough to where I like how this feels.

Twist the blade a little bit more & maybe I'll finally break.

What can be my excuse today?

What can be my reason for keeping myself locked away?

In my own little corner of the world where eventually everyone will forget about me.

So if I stay here, it won't matter what I miss or what I don't see.

Because maybe I don't want to see anything.

& maybe I don't care if I miss anything.

I don't like how my brain's wired.

Memories & miscommunications & masochistic self-doubt.

Wallowing in my own self pity until my heart can't break.

I won't let anyone else this deep in, they only need to see the surface.

Because in the end who am I to expect help for something like this?

Something that doesn't make sense.

Something that doesn't feel right.

& something I've been living with for endless, dreadful days.

I don't like how my brain's wired.

How my emotions connect to my memories connect to my subconscious.

I'm torn into pieces.

can't deny it, can't pretend;

just thought you were the one.

broken up, deep inside...