stars shining bright

Jacob Hill and Melissa Schemmenti have quite the friendship. If you ask either of them, they would tell you it’ something of a friendly companionship. They live together, they cook meals together, they watch television together, hell… they’ve gone on vacation together. It’s quite nice- odd, but nice. 

Jacob would tell you that he’s cared for Melissa for a long time. Melissa would begrudgingly admit that she likes Jacob- that they’re friends. And even then, at the district budget meeting, the redhead can just barely admit to Barbara that she has love for the boy; instead she claims that she loves the rent he pays her. 

But that all changes one day. 

It seems like it’s going to be a normal day- that today is going to go just like every other day at Abbott goes. Same shit, different day, as the jaded second grade teacher would grumble. Oh how wrong she would be about today.

For whatever reason, Jacob has decided that the lunch that Melissa packed him (okay, she didn’t pack it for him- she offered him the leftovers from dinner the last few nights) isn’t something that he’s in the mood for. So that starts quite a tiff between the two roommates.

“Jacob, if you hate my cooking, just say it,” the redhead growls. “And I will throw myself out the window right now.”

The history teacher sighs heavily and bites his lip. “It’s not that I hate your cooking,” he says carefully.

“It’s that you hate my cooking.”

“It’s that we’ve had carbonara for the last three days, and my stomach-“

“Whatever, Hill,” Melissa hisses out as she puts a hand up to definitively stop the argument that was beginning to brew. “Go get some lousy ass tofu when you could be having my delicious, homemade pasta!”

Jacob goes to rebut, but Barbara cuts in swiftly. “Jacob, if I were you, I would not continue to poke the bear.”

“So you think I should just eat the food that she made to keep the peace? Why don’t I have any autonomy in my own life?”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Jacob,” the kindergarten teacher pinches the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. “I’m just saying that you should either eat it, or go get your food now before our lunch period is over. I am not in the mood to mediate an argument between two grown adults when I mediate arguments between my five year olds all day as it is.”

Green eyes bore into Jacob’s soul as he quietly tries to decide what he should do. He doesn’t want to piss Melissa off- he really doesn’t. But he’s sick of eating the same carbonara, even if it is delicious. Ultimately, he grabs for his bag and begins to make his way out of the staff lounge.

“See if I ever cook for you again!” Melissa shouts at him as he exits. “Ungrateful little shit,” she mutters under her breath as she stabs at the pasta with a force to be reckoned with.

Jacob feels bad as he leaves. He knows that he seems ungrateful. And he isn’t. He loves that Melissa wants to feed him- enjoys doing it even. He knows she likes feeling useful. But he is a grown man who can feed himself occasionally; he doesn’t want to rely on her to feed him when he knows that eventually he will have to grow accustomed to feeding himself again at some point in the future. And Melissa isn’t his mother. Although… she’s more like a mother to him than his actual mother at this point.

Maybe he should just head back inside and eat the carbonara like she wants. But he’s already at the end of the block and crossing the street.

He hesitates for half a second as he inwardly debates what he should do. And that’s when it hits him.

That’s when the car hits him. His feet are up in the air, he’s on the hood of the car, and then he’s crashing back down to Earth. The wind is knocked out of him as he hits the concrete abruptly, the cracking of his ribs louder than anything he thinks he’s ever heard before. 

The car speeds off, tires squealing as it goes.

Jacob can’t move. He physically can’t move without feeling like he’s going to faint. The pain is unbearable. His phone, having been holding it when he got hit, lays across the street in pieces.

Luckily, bystanders leap into action. Someone calls the emergency line while another focuses on Jacob. A few people stop traffic and begin to direct it themselves, knowing that it may be crucial to the poor teacher’s health that they do not move him. Sirens quickly approach.

Back at Abbott, Melissa groans when she hears the sirens. As if today isn’t enough of a headache. Add the police sirens and the ambulance wailing, and she knows she’s going to have a migraine by the end of the day.

“Someone was hit by a car at the end of the block?” Janine lifts a brow. 

“How do you know?” Barbara turns.

“It’s posted on the West Philly Facebook already,” the second grade teacher says. She shows her phone to the veteran teacher, whose face only grows in concern.

That gets the redhead to turn. If it’s on Facebook, that makes it official. “Going towards the fuckin’ tofu spot or towards the corner store?”

“Tofu,” Janine says quietly. “I hope it wasn’t Jacob that got-“

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Melissa groans as she grabs her bag. “I swear to God, if it’s Jacob.” Her chair scrapes against the floor as she pushes it in and all but rushes out the door.

If you asked the fiery second grade teacher why she got up to go check on her… her Jacob, she would tell you that she just had this terrible gut feeling that it was him. She would tell you that even for Jacob Hill, getting hit by a car after their little tiff was dramatic. And yet still, here she is: running down the block to make sure that it isn’t-

There are a shit ton of cops. And an ambulance. The police are currently attempting to direct traffic while also taking down notes on what happened at the scene. The ambulance has somebody- a man- on a gurney. And that man? That man is of course, none other than Jacob Hill.

If the redhead is being honest, she doesn’t even remember dropping her bag on the ground in haste to get to her roommate. The next thing she’s aware of is that she’s screaming at the police to let her through; she has to get to him.

“Ma’am,” one of the police tries to calm down the excited woman. But Melissa is having none of it. The only thing that she has eyes on is a barely conscious Jacob as her groans out in pain, still only thinking about his students.

“N-no,” he whines out. “I have to get back to my… I have to go teach.”

“Sir, you have severe injuries,” one of the medics sighs. “When we get you into the ambulance, we’ll give you a high dosage of pain killers, and you’ll feel much better.”

“But- my-“

“Let me through, God dammit!” Melissa shouts at the officers. She has half a mind to elbow this one in the stomach in attempts to get to Jacob. She knows though, that she doesn’t quite have the connections to the city that she used to. Had she, she would be through already and at Jacob’s side. But now, if she chooses to assault a police officer to get to her roommate, she’ll end up handcuffed and not with him. So instead, she settles for yelling profusely, both in English and in Italian in hopes that one of the older policeman recognize her to be of the Schemmenti name.

And finally, when she doesn’t have anything else to use as leverage, she shouts, “Fuck off! You gotta let me- I have to- that’s my kid!”

Suddenly, it’s like the seas part. As Melissa is ushered into the scene, she makes note to use that special word ‘kid’ when she wants something when it comes to Jacob. But then, the ambulance is already closing its doors and getting ready to set off into the city to get the history teacher the medical attention that he needs.

“Fuck!” Melissa screams out in frustration. She was this close to getting to Jacob. Of course she wouldn’t get to him in time. Of course this whole situation had to be like something out of a movie. Nothing comes easy. 

A kinder police officer hands the redhead her purse and offers to escort her to the hospital, but the woman declines. Now that she’s lied to the police and told them Jacob was her son, she can’t have them finding out. At least not until one of her buddies in the force outs her unintentionally. No, she stomps off towards her car in the parking lot at Abbott.

When she returns, it’s interesting to see that the first person standing outside and waiting for Melissa is Ava.

“It’s Jacob, isn’t it?” the principal asks, and she genuinely sounds concerned about the nerdy teacher for once in her life.

The redhead nods as she continues on the trek to her car. She doesn’t stop.

“I’ll get coverage,” Ava calls after her. “You go take care of your roommate.”

“My son, at this point,” Melissa grumbles under her breath as she gets to her car.

It’s funny the way that the principal seems to magically appear in front of Melissa. She must’ve run to catch up with her. 

“And hey,” Ava says lowly. “Don’ go tellin’ people I was actually concerned for the white boy.”

Green eyes stare into dark brown ones for one dignified second before a breathy laugh comes out. “As long as you don’t go telling people I just referred to him as my son… because I know you heard that.”

“Deal. Go take care of your kid. I got it covered here.”

Melissa gives a pained smile. “Thank you, Ava.”

And then she’s racing for the hospital.

The second grade teacher is fairly certain that she’s broken just about every single traffic law that there is in order to get to the hospital in a quick manner. At one point, she was driving on the sidewalk to go around one of the slowest drivers Melissa thinks she’s ever been behind.

She comes to a halt at the front desk and practically barks her roommate’s name at the receptionist.

The woman glances at her, this spectacle all too familiar to her, and then clicks a few times on her computer. She looks back up at the wide, green eyes. “He’s still in surgery.”

“Surgery?!” Melissa practically shrieks. She goes to turn to wait in the waiting room, but the secretary stops her quickly.

“Ma’am, what is your relationship to Mr. Hill?”

The redhead sighs heavily. “He’s my son.”

“Very well,” the woman says through a tight lip. “Have a seat, and the doctor should be with you, hopefully shortly.”

Melissa drives herself crazy as she waits in the hospital for any word on Jacob. She paces, she curses in Italian, she curses in English, she fiddles with her rings. Nothing can calm her down. When school hours are over, she calls Barbara and tells her not to come down. It feels like an eternity that she’s waiting to hear the health condition of her roommate.

Finally, a doctor covered in blood- blood that Melissa can only assume is Jacob’s- comes through the double doors and approaches her. “Mrs. Hill?”

The second grade teacher doesn’t even bother to correct him. She’s already told them she is his mother, so she can’t blame the doctor for assuming her name. “Melissa is fine.”

“Okay, Melissa,” the doctor flips through the charts. “Jacob has a few cracked ribs, and there was a bit of internal bleeding. We managed to stop that though. He’ll need lots of rest these upcoming weeks, but he should make a full recovery so long as he follows protocol.”

“Oh, he’ll be following protocol. I’ll be damned if he doesn’t,” Melissa mutters under her breath as she continues to stare at the red staining the doctor’s scrubs. “Is he awake yet?”

“He should be soon.”

“When he is, can you tell him that I’m waiting for him?” the redhead requests weakly.

The doctor gives a warm nod. “Of course.”

When Jacob wakes, he’s pretty sure he’s died. The florescent lights nearly blind him as he blinks awake. There’s an incessant beeping noise though, and that’s how the history teacher puts together that he is not dead. He is very much alive, and dear God is he in pain.

“Oh good,” a nurse making her rounds comes in. “You’re awake. How are you feeling, dear?”

The man can only grunt in pain, slamming his eyes shut again.

The nurse gives a knowing nod. “I’ll get you something to help with that, and the doctor will be in shortly.” The woman adjusts his pain medication, and he feels like he’s floating.

After a few long and less painful moments, the doctor walks through the door. “‘Bout time you woke up,” the man chuckles. “I was fairly certain your mother was going to kill me if I didn’t get her and bring her back to you soon.”

“My mom?” Jacob slurs out. “My mom came?”

“She’s been here pacing the waiting room floor for hours,” the doctor tells him. “Do I have the go-ahead to bring her back?”

The teacher in the hospital bed gives a slight nod, and the man heads out. He’s back no sooner with none other than Melissa Schemmenti.

“Jesus Christ, Jacob,” the redhead grumbles as she rushes to his side. She kisses his head softly before taking his cheeks in both of her hands. Those green eyes glare at him. “Never give me a heart attack like that again.”

“Sorry,” the history teacher mumbles half-heartedly. “Didn’t mean to.”

“I’d hope you didn’t mean to!” Melissa mutters. “Getting hit by a car after a fight is dramatic… even for you, kid.”

Jacob gives a dopey smile as he looks up at her. “Tired.”

“Gettin’ hit by a car’ll do that to you,” the second grade teacher quips. “Get some sleep, hun.”

“I have to talk to your mom about how to take care of you in the next coming weeks anyway,” the doctor puts in. Then offhandedly, he says, “You’re lucky your mom cares about you so much.”

“My mom?” Jacob’s eyebrows furrow. “She-“

“Is a very loving and doting mother,” Melissa cuts him off before he can blow her cover. “Get some sleep, sweetheart.” For extra effect, she kisses his head again.

The man in the hospital bed wants to continue to press, but Melissa is fixing the blankets around him so that he’s warmer, and her hand is gently rubbing up and down his arm, and… it’s soothing. He’s asleep before he knows it.

The next time Jacob wakes, Melissa is the only one in the room with him. And even though they’re alone, the redhead sits with him. She stays by his side, head gently bowed in prayer.

“Amen,” Melissa whispers. When she opens her eyes, she sees that he’s awake. “Hey, kid. How you feelin’?”

“You stayed,” Jacob says softly, ignoring the initial question. 

The redhead rolls her eyes in good nature. “Course I stayed. What kind of mother would I be if I didn’t?”

“Mother?” the man questions, yet again.

Melissa’s lips form into a tight line. “I may have told them that I was your mother so I could get back here to be with you.”

“That’s why the doctor told me my mother was pacing the floors waiting for me,” Jacob muses. “I was so confused as to why my actual mother would be-“

“As far as anyone here is concerned,” Melissa hushes him quickly. “I am your mother. You understand?”

“Yes… Mom,” Jacob says softly. This is the first time he’s called anyone by that title in years. And somehow, it feels right with Melissa. “Mom.”

“Yeah,” the second grade teacher tuts softly. “Now seriously, how’re you feelin’?”

“Sore. Hurts like hell now that the medication’s worn off,” the history teacher mumbles. “But happy that I have someone to keep me company.”

“I had to tell the crew that they were not allowed to show up for you,” the redhead laughs. “They all wanted to come see you, but I told them that they needed to let you rest up- that they could come visit you at home.”

“Home,” Jacob hums. “When do I get to go home?”

“Soon,” Melissa promises him. “And when we get home, you’ll have your Italian mother doting on you like there’s no tomorrow.”

The man smiles to himself. “I think I can handle that. Just one request?”

“Sure, kid. What?”

“Can we not have carbonara any time soon?” He says the line with such a smirk that Melissa knows he’s been planning on saying this.

It takes everything in her to not smack him upside the head, but she nods. “Red sauce it is.”

Jacob looks up at his roommate with soft eyes. “Thank you. And… thank you for staying with me, even though we were fighting.”

“You don’ gotta thank me for that. My dumb ass kid needs me, and I’ll be damned if I ain’t there.”

“Love you,” Jacob whispers as his eyes start to grow heavy again.

Melissa just nods and starts to rub his arm again in that soothing, maternal way. Only once she’s sure he’s asleep again does she lean forward and kiss his temple with care. “I don’t think you realize just how much I love you, kid.”

You think the move into Melissa’s house is going to be complicated, but she makes it easy. You go through your small apartment room by room sorting through your things. She doesn’t question when you want to keep a stack of photo albums, or your three shelves of books you swear you will read one day, and doesn't blink an eye when you present her with five hoodies of the same design in different colors. She just packs boxes and labels them appropriately. 

You finally put Melissa’s easy going attitude to the test when you pull out a hideous sweater that was shoved in the back of your closet. You plan to get rid of it, have for years, you just kept forgetting where you had put it. You turn to Melissa, a soft smile across your lips.

“I think you would look absolutely gorgeous in this, Lis. We have to keep it.”

Melissa’s eyes widen, and she scrambles to find some sort of respectable answer. You let her struggle until finally she blurts out, “That is the most hideous thing I have ever seen. I'm so sorry, mi amore…we can not keep that.”

You burst into laughter throwing it to the donation pile. “I was making sure you weren't just humoring me by keeping things you actually hate.”

Melissa loops her arms around your hips, pulling you close to her. She places a kiss on the center of your chest. 

“I love everything that you are putting in our house…but that sweater… we burn.”

You nod through another burst of laughter. “Agreed- nothing that hideous is allowed in our home.”

Melissa smiles pulling you down so your body is flush against hers. “You called it our house.”

“I did,” you grin.

She captures you in a smoldering kiss that has you moaning into her mouth. When she pulls away there is a twinkle in her eye.

“You know we haven't given this house a proper goodbye yet.”

It’s a bit later that you’ve... done the opposite of christen your house. You’ve said goodbye to it in your own way.

“Well, that was great,” Melissa mumbles against your lips as you close the door for the last time.

“We still have to christen your house as ours,” you giggle.

Melissa practically carries you to the car.

Hours later, you’re sprawled out in what is now your bed. Your chest is rising and falling rapidly as you try to catch your breath.

“Jesus Christ, Lis,” you sigh out.

Those green eyes are still as dark as they were when you entered the house. “I’m not done.”

The day that you meet your soulmate’s family is one that you won’t ever forget. It’s the day that you’ve finally finished unpacking everything and setting everything up to a point that you’re fairly certain it’s presentable enough for people other than yourself and Melissa.

“Honey,” Melissa tries to soothe your nerves. “It’s all gonna be okay.”

“Is it?” you ask, eyes widened with panic. You go to fluff the same pillow that you’ve been fixated on for the last twenty minutes.

The redhead takes your hands gently in her own. “It is,” she promises.

“How do you know?” you whisper softly.

As if on cue, there’s a knock on the door.

You feel your breath hitch, and your eyes only widen even further- Melissa swears that you could be put into a cartoon and look normal.

“Just... trust me?” the redhead requests softly as she leads you to the door.

You brace yourself to meet the first Schemmentis to arrive, only to open the door to your surrogate mother and your soulmate’s best friend.

“Hi baby,” Barbara breathes softly as she engulfs you in a hug.

The breath that you didn’t even realize you were holding is released as you practically fall into Barb’s arms. “Oh, thank god.”

“Barb comes to all the family gatherings,” Melissa tells you softly. “And we’ll go to all of hers.”

“I wasn’t going to miss this for the world,” your mentor turned mother whispers as she kisses your temple softly.

You can’t help but relax in her hold. “Thank you for being here,” you murmur.

“Thought you might benefit from having her here,” the redhead tells you gently as she rubs a soothing hand up and down your arm.

You turn to look at Melissa and realize that this woman knows what you need even before you do most times. She is starting to read you like an open book, and the fact doesn’t make you anxious anymore. You knew that when you met your soulmate it would be like nothing you had ever experienced before, but with Melissa it was so much more than that. Being with Melissa was like finding another piece of you, one that had been lost to you for years. 

You smile at the redhead before you place a kiss on her cheek. “Thank you Mel, you really did think of everything.”

She wraps her arms around your waist pulling you closer to her. “It’s my job, mi amore. I promise to take care of you for the rest of my life.”

You blush at her words when there’s another knock at the door. Your body tenses in her arm and she places a gentle kiss on your forehead. “I got you, mi amore. If it gets to be too much, I promise, I will kick them out immediately. No questions asked.”

You nod and let Melissa grab your hand, pulling you to the front door. She opens it, and your eyes immediately lock onto her mother- because of course she is the first one to arrive. Ever the matriarch of the Schemmentis, she is never late to an event. Your stomach drops and you grip Melissa’s hand tighter as her mother takes the redhead into a crushing hug. 

“Hello, my sweet bambina. I missed you,” her mother smiles then turns to you. “Who is this beauty?”

Melissa beams a twinkle coming to her green eyes that makes your heart melt, “Ma, this is Y/N. My…well my damn everything. My girlfriend, soulmate, love of my life, future wife… all of it and so much more.”

You blush at her words, losing your breath as her mom crushes you into a hug. You wrap an arm around her, and you instinctively melt into her. When she pulls away, she places a gentle kiss on your cheek. 

“Welcome to the family, tesoro,” she says tenderly. “I hope you are prepared for pure chaos. The whole family is going to want to grill you with a thousand questions.”

You gulp, but with a simple squeeze of Melissa’s hand and Barbara’s reassuring presence behind you, you know that you are going to be okay. You may not have grown up with a family, not one that you were proud of, but you could build one with the help of the two people who meant the most to you. 

Melissa ushers her mother into the house with a smile- but you can tell it’s a nervous one. She’s just as nervous as you are, although she’s much better at hiding it.

As if Barbara can tell that both of you need a moment to breathe, she invites Theresa into the kitchen for a glass of wine. The two immediately launch into conversation.

“You okay?” Your soulmate asks you gently. 

You force yourself to nod. “Just nervous.” Then you break out into a grin. “You called me your girlfriend… your future wife.”

Melissa kisses you softly. “I always told my mother it’d take a freakin’ miracle to get married again after Joe, and baby? You’re that miracle.”

“I just… we never really spoke about it,” you sigh quietly, but your future wife can tell that you’re more than pleased with her words. “Girlfriend,” you mumble, testing that word out. “I like it.”

“Well, that’s good, because that’s what you are,” Melissa teases you. “I do have to warn you though… my family, they can be tough; Ma’s included in that.”

“She was just very kind to me?” you question softly. 

“We…” Melissa trails off as she searches for words. “We’ve had our differences in the past. I uh, I called her last night and told her if she doesn’t play nice, and the family doesn’t play nice… I’m not giving you up- not when I finally found you.”

“Lis,” you sigh softly, a hand reaching up to cup her cheek.

“Ma hasn’t always been the most accepting,” your soulmate continues. “But you’ll win her, and the rest of the family, over. And if they have a problem with the fact that my soulmate is a woman? They can get the hell out.”

“Mel,” you laugh out nervously.

“I’m serious, mi amore,” the redhead states seriously. She takes you by the hand and guides you into the kitchen, where Barbara already has two glasses of wine poured out for you and Melissa.

“Thank you,” you smile as you take the glass gratefully.

“I was just telling Theresa how lovely the two of you are together,” Barb assures you. “And how lucky I am to have a bonus daughter.”

“It’s about damn time Melly found her soulmate,” the matriarch of the family jokes and nudges her daughter. “And I have to say, Melly: you done good, at least so far. We’ll see how she fits in.”

“She’ll fit in just fine, Ma,” Melissa retorts as she rolls those striking green eyes.

“Let’s hope so.”

“For your sake, yes,” your soulmate grumbles as she gently pulls you into her by the hip.

The comment Theresa makes hangs heavier on Melissa then she would like to admit. You can tell by the tightness in her shoulder, the way that she seems to scan the room relentlessly, and how she listens into every conversation. It does nothing to help soothe the anxiety you feel building inside you. Melissa does her best to not let you out of her grasp the entire night. She constantly has a grip on your hip or is holding your hand. It is the grounding presence you need through meeting the never-ending Schemmenti family. You attempt to remember their names, but  you give up halfway through the night. Instead, you focus on the way that Melissa opens up as the night progresses; how smiles as she talks to them, the way her eyes twinkle when she introduces you, the death glare she gives those who question you. She will let no one ruin the happiness that she has been working so hard to create.

You know that some of her family doesn’t approve, but in her presence and under Melissa’s threat they say nothing to you. At first you thought that it would bother you but it really doesn’t. It is the ones that take you in big bear hugs, ask you question to get to know you, compliment you on how happy you make Melissa that matter the most to you. Eventually when the night starts to wind down you feel like maybe you do have a place among Melissa’s family. Maybe not fully, but you are getting there, and that’s what matters. However, as the last person leaves, you are utterly exhausted.

 Melissa kisses your cheek gently. “Mi amore, are you okay?”

“Yeah…I just need some love please,” you sigh, curling into her. 

“Anything for you,” she replies, kissing your forehead gently. “Our bed awaits us.”

She goes to pull away, but you stay rooted to the spot. She cards her fingers through your hair you can’t help but whisper, “Do you think they liked me?

“Sweetheart, they loved you.”

“How can you be so sure?” you ask, and it’s clear that your insecurities are shining through. “I saw how some of them looked at us.”

“They just don’t always get it,” your girlfriend… god, she’s your girlfriend, states quietly as she begins to guide you to your shared room. “But it don’t matter. All that matters to me is that I’m happy, you’re happy, and nobody is going to ruin that for us.”

You relax just slightly and allow her to pull you into the bedroom. “I love you.”

Melissa hums happily. “I love you too. Now, get some sleep; I know you’re exhausted.”

You can’t help the yawn that escapes your lips. “Thank you for always being by my side tonight… and for inviting Barb.”

“Of course,” the redhead smiles in your direction. “I knew what you needed tonight.”

The two of you are laying in bed quietly, both half asleep, when your eyes snap open. Your breath hitches in a way that startles Melissa out of her dozing.

“What is it?” she practically yelps. In an instant, she’s out of bed with Edith Houghton in hand. Her eyes frantically dart around, looking for the thing that made you jump the way it did.

“Honey,” you laugh as you go to lower her bat. “I just had a thought.”

“A thought made you damn near stop breathing?” Melissa grumbles as she climbs back into bed and wraps her arm around your waist. 

“Well, would you like to hear my thought?”

You can feel her nod against your pajama shirt.

“We still have to get through telling your friends at work,” you state. 

Your girlfriend takes a fortifying breath. “We’ll get there when we get there. For now, I want to remain in our little bubble and go to bed.”

It’s days like today that you truly feel as though Melissa is your soulmate. Despite all of the hardships that the two of you have endured to get to today, you’ve never been more sure of anything in your life.

“Mi amore,” Melissa whispers as she lays back into her bed with you. Since that one night, the two of you have been splitting your time between her house and your apartment. It’s been... an adjustment, but one that both of you are willing to make for each other.

“My love,” you grumble into a pillow. “It’s too early.”

“It’s 9:30,” she tells you with a kiss to your jawline. It makes you shiver. Her finger catches your chin and forces you to face her. Full lips meet your own.

“Mel,” you practically whine out, eyes still closed. “I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.”

She chuckles against your lips. “You act like I care.” She kisses you again, and a familiar warmth lights up your stomach.

You go to deepen the kiss, but the redhead pulls away gently.

“I made breakfast, and it’s on the table,” she tells you. “Coffee’s ready too.”

That gets you to peel your eyes open, and the first thing you can see is that gorgeous smile of hers. You pout.

“Don’t pout, tesoro.”

You sigh heavily as you sit up, pulling her with you. “You get me all... hungry, and then you tell me breakfast is on the table.”

Your soulmate merely shrugs, a smirk presenting itself. “I can fix both of those hungers,” she states confidently. “Maybe at the same time.”

You allow her to drag you from the warmth of her bed with a smile of your own.

After... a longer breakfast than perhaps intended, Melissa has you sprawled out on the couch- the one that no longer has plastic on it.

“I was thinking that maybe we go out today?” the redhead suggests softly, although it’s clear that she has no intention of moving any time soon.

“Where were you thinking?” you ask just as quietly, grinning to yourself when you feel her melt into your hold.

“Just... out,” she sighs. “We live in Philly, and I feel like we rarely go out of the neighborhood.”

You nod, and you let your eyes flutter shut. “Later though. I’m tired after morning sex.”

“Out of the house by 12:30?”

You nod as your fingers card through red hair gently. 

Melissa holds your hand gently as you wander Fairmount Park’s trail towards the art museum.

“This really is something,” you smile as you look at your fingers intertwined with the woman next to you.

“I’ve always loved Fairmount,” the redhead muses.

You squeeze her hand gently in your own. “I meant... this- us, just walking and enjoying each other’s company.”

“It really is something,” Melissa repeats your own words back to you.

It’s a bit later that the two of you find yourselves at the infamous steps.

“You know Barb had her wedding here?” the second grade teacher asks you.

Both brows creep up your forehead. “Really?”

“It was stunning,” Melissa whispers, and her eyes go hazy with fond memories. “She looked... beautiful, and so in love with Gerald. I remember thinking that I couldn’t wait for the day I found someone who made me as happy as Gerald did, does, for Barb.”

“They really are soulmates,” you muse with a soft smile. 

The redhead beside you nudges you with her shoulder. “So are we, you know. An’ you make me the happiest woman alive.”

“I doubt that,” you chuckle, but you pull her in close.

“You do, mi amore,” Melissa states emphatically. “I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you.”

“I feel the same, my love.” You press a kiss to her cheek before you take a seat on the steps. She follows. Your head rests on her shoulder as you take in the breathtaking city that you get to call your home. You exhale with content. “I can’t believe this is our home.”

“Home stopped being a place when you came into the picture,” your soulmate mumbles against your head. “Home is wherever you are.”

“Who knew that Melissa Schemmenti was so soft on the inside,” you tease, squeezing her close to you. 

“Only for you,” Melissa whispers, backing up just enough to look at you. You can tell she’s nervous with the usual furrow in her brow. She bites her bottom lip before talking again. “Mi amore, what do you think about moving in? We spend so much time together, but splitting our time between the two homes is becoming a lot. Plus we could save on rent, food, and I just…want you with me all the time.”

The question catches you by surprise, and you feel a sudden rush of anxiety, “I…but…Mel…your home is full of your things, your memories, your life. How could I possibly fit in there?”

Melissa knows you ask the question because you have been burnt before, but she refuses to back down. She cups your cheek gently, “Let me show you exactly how you can fit into my space..our space.”

Your soulmate grabs your hand and rushes you back to the car. 

Back at Melissa’s house she turns the car off in the driveway, her car adjusted all the way to the side leaving a wide gap where she typically parks.

“Your car would go next to mine, we take turns driving to work together. Then during the winter, your car can go in the garage to allow for an easy start in the morning.”

There’s an excited look on her face when she grabs your hand and continues up the front porch. She points to the porch swing. 

“That is where we can drink coffee in the mornings while you write.”

Once the door is open she sets her key on a shelf that you have never seen before. You realize suddenly she put it there for you. 

“Your keys will go next to mine, so that we always know where they are. Plus it comes with a little mail slot so that we can keep it organized.”

You watch your heart already melting as she opens up the hallway closet. All of her usual clutter is organized, and there is a large empty space on one side. 

“Our winter coats will go in here, and there’s a bench for our teacher bags so we can have them ready every morning.” 

She still clutches your hand as you move into the living room. She points at the bay window and the surrounding walls that have always been bare. 

“Your bookshelves can go over there. We extend that bay window a little, and it could be your only little reading nook.”

Moving to the bedroom, she flings open the closet where her shoes are in a pile in the corner. Clothes are thrown everywhere like she has been rearranging, and it finally sinks in that this wasn’t an impulsive question. Melissa has been planning this for… who knows how long. 

“Mel…” you say, stopping her before she can continue her explanations. “How long have you been planning all of this?”

Melissa blushes looking down at the floor to hide her face. “Since the first night you slept over. I just…I don’t want you to have one more nightmare where you aren’t by my side. I want to wake up next to you every morning so I can start my day on a bright note. I want you.”

You lift her chin so that green eyes finally meet yours, “I want all of those things too, my love. I’ll move in with you.”

“You will?” Your answer clearly catches her a little off guard. She didn’t think you’d be so enthusiastic. She was ready for some sort of hesitance.

“I will,” you nod, pulling her in gently for a kiss. “I- I’m a little nervous about it though. What if we-“

“Can I continue how you would fit seamlessly into my life?” Those emerald eyes sparkle with excitement. At your nod, she takes you gently by the hand and leads you deeper into the house. 

“Most of this is stuff we already do,” Melissa tells you softly. “But I want to continue them.”

She takes you to the kitchen. “This is where I’ll cook for you, and you can just sit at the counter and look stunning- you already always do. Maybe one day, we can cook together.”

You stop in the dining room. “Here’s where we’ll have our meals. Maybe we’ll do some grading here. Tutor students. Maybe…” she quirks her lips to the side and cuts herself off. She just takes you into the living room. 

She leads you to the couch. “Here’s where we spend our time grading, watching movies, just relaxing. Maybe you’re reading, maybe I’m scrolling through Facebook. I don’t know. But I want you to be here with me until we decide we need to head to bed to get a good night’s sleep.”

You find yourself in the bedroom, and instinctively, you head to your side of the bed.

“See? You already fit in perfectly. You have been. And it… if this is what I get to have for the rest of my life? My god, am I the luckiest woman alive.”

When you take a second to respond, Melissa pushes forward, “I know you have been burnt before, but this is different…I’m different. Please trust me, let me create a life that both of us will never regret.”

You have to admit that you can see it all too, hell you have already been living in this dream world that Melissa has shown you. You crawl onto the bed and then pull Melissa with you. She laughs and the sound melts your heart. 

“You were right earlier. Home stopped being a place when I met you. I don’t care where we live as long as I get to live with you,” you whisper, and your heart swells as you feel Melissa soften into you. 

You pull her to you and smash a kiss to her lips. Her arms automatically wrap around you and she lets out a little moan. You smirk against her kiss and realize that if this is what you get from the rest of your life, you will also be the luckiest woman alive. 

Hours later when you are done, Melissa stares up at the ceiling as her fingers trace small circles from your hipbone all the way up your side. Never in your life have you felt so loved by a simple touch, but with Melissa you feel damn near everything tenfold.

 You kiss her cheek gently. “My love, what are you thinking about?”

“I think… no I know… that I want you to meet my family,” Melissa says, trying to read your facial expression. “If you aren’t ready though, I understand.” You look at this woman that you’ve spent all summer falling for, and you are nervous, but you also know that with Melissa by your side you can accomplish anything. Meeting the rest of the Schemmentis was going to have to happen eventually, especially with her being your soulmate. Doing it now feels right, and you’re tired of being scared all the time. You want to be able to look at something that scares you and do it anyway. 

“Tell me all about them. I want to be prepared,” you smile and cuddle closer to her.

“There’s a lot of us,” your soulmate chuckles quietly. “You think I’m a lot? Wait til you meet ‘em all.”

“You are just the right amount,” you kiss Melissa’s shoulder. 

She tells you about her family- about her siblings, their spouses, the children… you can’t help but notice the way her eyes light up over the children in her family. Her mother. 

“You weren’t kidding when you said there’s a lot of you.”

“I would never joke about somethin’ like family,” the redhead rolls her eyes, but she does kiss your head. “You would really want to meet them?”

“I do,” you whisper as you peck her lips. “I also really want… dinner.”

Those green eyes light up, and she pulls you out of bed, throws the discarded clothes from earlier at you, and takes you by the hand towards the kitchen.

You can’t help but grin as she leads you to the seat she said you would sit at while she cooks. 

“I thought you said we would cook together,” you jokingly pout. 

“One day.” That low laugh lights a fire in you. “But today is not that day.”

You sigh softly, but your eyes begin to glance around the kitchen thoughtfully.

Melissa works and relishes in the quiet for a few minutes before she catches your gaze.

“Penny for your thoughts? You look like Jake does when he thinks he’s comin’ up with a new genius idea.”

You can’t help the laugh that escapes your lips. “When are you just going to admit you love that boy?”

The redhead just shrugs before gesturing for you to answer her questions.

“Just… thinking about where I can put some of my things in the kitchen,” you hum.

Melissa stops her dicing and comes behind you, sliding her arms around your waist and resting her chin on your shoulder. “Like?”

“Like-“ you tap your chin in thought. “The flower vase that I love and what kind of flowers would fit well in this house. Maybe some of my antique wine glasses. Just little things like that.”

“I’d love that.” The redhead kisses your cheek gently before returning to her work station. 

You wake late into the night with Melissa’s naked body still pressing against yours. Her arm is circling your waist protectively. Flashes of the previous night come in bursts, all of them good, but then the panic sets in. This isn’t your house, these aren’t your things, and you don’t remember the last time you slept somewhere outside of your own bed. 

You don’t even realize that you are falling into a panic attack until Melissa is murmuring in your ear, “Mi amore, are you okay? What’s goin’ on?”

As soon as you’re aware of your surroundings, and who is with you, you snap back into your body. Your heart races as you bolt upright in bed.

“Melissa, what the-”

Your soulmate sees the fear in your eyes as you heave for breath. The darkness begins to consume you again, and the only thing that pulls you from the place in your head is the hands that lay gently on your shoulder, the soft breath that you feel hot on your shoulder... the... the screaming? The screaming is coming from your lips though. The panicked shrieks of terror are coming from your own lungs.

Melissa has no idea what to do. She’s seen you in a few moments of distress, but nothing like this. She- she’s out of her depth. But she has to continue to try.

“Honey,” the normally brash woman makes her voice as soft as cotton and as smooth as honey. “Baby... Y/N.”

Those soft words don’t seem to do anything for you. You’re drowning. She can tell. The anxiety is filling your lungs and your soul to the point that she can tell it’s nearly all-consuming. If this last ditch effort doesn’t work, she’s going to have to call for help. You’re hyperventilating.

She takes your shaking hand, and she gently forces you to face her. Your shaking hand fights her as she holds it. She squeezes it gently in her own, in rhythm with her own heartbeat. And somehow, the redhead doesn’t know how, but it gets the haze to lift.

“Mi amore,” Melissa whispers softly. She kisses your temple gently. She trails her kiss to your cheek. And then your nose. And then the corner of your mouth. “Take a deep breath.”

You take a deep breath, and then you fully climb out of bed, also pulling the top sheet with you to cover your exposed body.

“I- We- You-” you get out as your eyes frantically dart around the room for your clothes. You find them, and no sooner are you running to the bathroom to pull your clothes on.

Melissa knows that your immediate instinct is to run. And once your clothes are on, you really do attempt to run. But a clothed Melissa is there, and she has your phone opened to Tetris, your normal mind numbing game that you do to get your mind to focus. You focus on the pieces falling, the pace picking up and erasing any remaining thoughts that you have in your mind. When you fail the game Melissa pulls out her phone and places it in your hand. There is a meditation app pulled up. There is a video walking through EFT tapping guiding you through different points on your body to calm down. You follow along with the movements letting the video play through it once, then twice. Finally, you feel yourself relax into the moment. You extend the phone back out to Melissa, your hand only slightly shaking. You sink down the feeling a bit more at peace, only for those feelings of hurt to come back.

You don’t meet Melissa’s eyes as you mumble, “You took advantage of me.”

The hurt is so clear in Melissa’s eyes that you feel a stabbing in your heart. She stutters as she tries to explain, “I…I..wait. I wasn’t trying to take advantage of you. I know we were drunk but… I asked you every step of the way. Please believe me.”

You shake your head as old memories start to swirl in your brain. Your eyes turn to stone. “I’ve heard this all before. Cut the bullshit.”

You go to stand up and push past Melissa but she steps back against the doorway. She crosses her arm and for a moment you understand why others are so intimated by her. 

“No, we aren’t doin this. You wanna fight? Then we gonna fight, but we ain’t running.” Melissa waits for you to respond but you are so stunned by her words you stop. “We aren’t going to get anywhere if you keep running from me. Please, let me explain.”

You deflate sinking against the bed. Melissa doesn’t sit next to you but stays leaning against the doorway. The distance between you only continues to make you feel guilty. 

Melissa opens her mouth then closes it again five or six times while she figures out how to begin. “Mi amore, I…I thought you wanted what happened last night. If I had known for even one second that it was not consensual I would’ve stopped. I promise you.”

You know in your heart it’s true, but it becomes so hard to separate old memories from the new ones that you don’t know how to respond. The silence that fills the room only hurts the redhead further. You watch as tears fill her eyes, and you know that this time it’s you ruining it all. You were the one that gave Melissa the ultimatum, but maybe it was you that needed it- the reminder to be gentle with the older woman’s heart that was already barely being held together.

“I have worked so hard to get you to trust me,” Melissa chokes out. “You really think that I would risk it all over this? I want to spend the rest of my life with you…to create a life with you. I would never do anything to risk that, and the fact that you think that? Well I guess it shows how little I actually mean to you.”

The words cut deep, and you know if you don’t explain it now you will lose Melissa forever. 

Your explanation comes out in a rush. “My ex used to get me drunk enough that consent was often… non-existent. It became so hard to distinguish when I was giving it freely and when it was taken from me.” You want to explain more, but the story sits like a rock against your chest. “I should’ve told you but it never seemed like the right time. I just wanted to exist in this bubble of safety that we made.”

“I…I..” Melissa stutters but then goes silent. 

 “I remember last night…I enjoyed last night. I know that you didn’t take advantage of me, I just panicked and I… I am so sorry,” you say, trying to keep tears at bay. “This is the first time in…months that I slept outside my own bed. I don't remember falling asleep, and then when I woke up it was dark. I was confused. I shouldn't have accused you of anything. Please... just say something.”

The redhead’s eyes goes black at your explanation, and for a moment it terrifies you. This is a neverending darkness that seems to swallow her whole. You’ve seen her eyes darken before creating clear rays of gold in her eyes. It had been while she was trailing her fingers down your bare skin. You had enjoyed that darkness; this one terrified you. You know if given the chance, she would have ripped your ex from limb to limb to give them a fraction of the pain that you had endured by their hands. 

“Lis?” You call out trying to get her to come back to you. 

You had only called her the nickname a handful of times and each time it had instantly soothed the redhead. Sometimes you’ve even seen that flicker of desire written in gold. You see the haze lift for a second, and you approach her gently. 

“Lis, hey, you there?” you whisper before placing a gentle on her shoulder. 

Melissa blinks, and the green returns to her eyes. “Yeah, I’m here.” 

She looks at you but there is a hurt still rimming all of her features. You brush a strand of hair behind her ear and she softens into your touch.

“I do trust you, and I don’t regret a single thing that we did last night,” you whisper. “I love you Melissa. Please believe me.”

Melissa’s mouth gapes as the words she has been waiting to hear for weeks finally fall from your lips. “Say it again.”

“I love you.”

In seconds, the smile that you have come to adore stretches across her face, and she’s lifting you in the air. You squeal automatically as you go to wrap your arms around her neck. 

“I love you, mi amore… fuck. I love you so much.”

Your smile is fragile, and you kiss her gently. Both of you are in such a sensitive state right now.

“C-can I come back to bed?” you whisper, fighting the waver in your voice, although you know that your stuttering gives your nerves away. “I want to- I want to come back to bed.”

“Of course, Tesoro. If that’s what you want.”

“B-but do you want it?” you ask softly. 

Melissa’s laugh is low- a bitter one. “You don’t know what I want right now… but having you with me is the next best choice.”

Your heart stops at that. “What do you mean?”

“I- I want to take away all your hurt… but I can’t do that,” the redhead says softly. “So c’mon, my love. Let’s go back to bed.”

You glance at the sheets that have fully been disturbed by you before climbing in gently and trying to fix them the best you can.

You kiss her softly. “I love you.”

“T’amu,” Melissa whispers. “Ti vogghiu beni finu â fini dî tempi.” I’ll love you until the end of time. 

You don’t know what your soulmate has just said, but you know it’s something sweet in either Italian or Sicilian. Your heart flutters as she pulls you in close.

“I’ll love you until the end of time,” you mumble out as you fall asleep. You have no idea that’s what Melissa had said in her other language.

The redhead smiles as she holds you. If your tattoos weren’t confirmation enough, that sentiment was the final verdict to tell her that you are meant for each other. 

As you finally calm against her, Melissa continues to play with your hair trying to calm herself down. She still hears your scream ringing in her ears, and that terrified look you gave her may be permanently printed into her brain. She knew you came with a past, she did too, and finding a soulmate doesn't mean all scars are immediately healed. She doesn't want you to be perfect; she loves you exactly as you are. She just wants to take away the hurt that seems to seep from your soul. Even after your explanation and your declaration of love, Melissa still feels on edge- like maybe everything that happened was a mistake, that she is only causing more harm than good. 

She tries to push the thoughts away, reminding herself that you’re still here wrapped in her arms, and that for once you didn’t run. It helps a little, but Melissa doesn't fall back asleep. She stays awake with her racing thoughts as they pick her apart piece by piece. Finally, when the sun starts to come through the cracks in the blinds, she lets one single tear fall down her face. 

She thinks that she’ll be able to control it after that, but instead she unravels. She bites on her lip to hold back a sob and stiffens her body to stop from moving, but it doesn't work. You wake up to the feel of the redhead shaking beneath you. 

“Lis,” you say groggily, rubbing at your eyes.

Melissa is frantic to try to pull herself back together. She is wiping quickly at the tears falling down her cheeks and tries to remember any grounding technique to get her out of this.

You sit up just enough to watch the woman you love struggle to hold it all together. Freed from your grasp, Melissa tries to get up, but you stop her by throwing your leg over her and sitting down on her hips.

“We said no running,” you whisper cupping her face gently. “What’s going on?”

Melissa shakes her head frantically, curling her fingers tightly together to stop from touching you. You catch the movement out of the corner of your eye and grab her wrists. You place them against your hips as you work to uncurl her fingers. When her palms are flat, they automatically slide underneath your shirt to draw patterns on your skin. 

You can see the panic across her face, so you try something new.

“Mi amore,” you start and Melissa’s eyes widen. “I love you because you always know how to make me smile. I love you because you make me laugh even when I want to cry. I love you because you always seem to know what’s on my mind. I love you because even when I'm at my worst, you love me anyways. I love you because you care about me, truly care about me, and show it in everything you do. I love you because you know exactly where to kiss me to make me come undone. I love you because you know me better than I know myself.”

You brush the tears off her cheeks and place a soft kiss to her forehead, “I love you until the end of time.”

Melissa’s smile is wobbly when she responds, “T’amu ti vogghiu beni finu â fini dî tempi.”

The words finally click in your head, and your laugh makes Melissa’s smile widen. 

You cup her cheek gently. “We really are soulmates.”

Melissa nods and leans up to kiss you. “Yes, mi amore. I was made for you.”

“And I for you,” you whisper.

It doesn’t take Barbara all that long to get to you, but it feels like an eternity has passed. You’ve been stuck in your head for far too long. Her knock on your door is as regal as ever. You don’t hesitate to whip open your front door and hug her tightly.

“I missed you,” you mumble. “I know I saw you yesterday, but I missed you.”

“I missed you too, sweetheart,” your surrogate mother smiles gently as she drops a kiss to your head. She allows you to hold onto her for as long as you need. When you pull away, she’s producing your favorite chocolate from her purse.

“Thank you,” you mumble. It makes your heart so happy to have someone like Barb in your life; someone who picks up on the small things like what chocolates you like, understands that you sometimes just need a maternal hug after being deprived of one for so long.

“Of course,” Barbara smiles. “Why don’t we take a seat and try to relax a bit? Maybe get some things off of our chest?”

“Can we just... watch tv for a little bit?” you request meekly. Then you glance a little further into your home. “I have chardonnay if you’d like some.”

“That would be wonderful.”

A few minutes later, you have wine and a small tray of snacks. You know that your coworker loves a charcuterie board- even if she always mixes up the word ‘charcuterie’ with something else, so you pull a quick one together with the things in your refrigerator. 

The television plays quietly as the two of you relax into the cushions and breathe. You appreciate that Barbara has seamlessly embedded herself into your home- that she doesn’t push or pressure you into talking. No. She’s just present, and sometimes that’s all you really need.

 An episode of one of your favorite comfort shows passes by before you sigh softly. You shift your position on the couch so that you’re facing her. 

“I- I think I’m ready to talk now,” you admit quietly- so quietly that if you hadn’t been facing Barbara, she isn’t sure she would’ve heard you.

“About?” A perfectly sculpted eyebrow, even on a Saturday, raises.

You bite your bottom lip. “I...” You exhale shakily. “I don’t know what to do.”

“With?”

“There’s... there’s a part of me that wants to stay at Abbott. I love it. I love it so much, and I can even forgive Melissa for what she did now that I know there was no malicious intent- that she was genuinely shocked at what had accidentally been revealed. I want to stay and teach kindergarten with you and watch as our classes get older and move up to be with Gregory, and Janine and Melissa, and even Jacob.”

Barbara nods along, but she stays quiet, knowing there’s more.

“But at the same time, I want to leave. I think that, even though I know Melissa is my soulmate, separation would be good for our relationship. And before you say it: I know we didn’t cross paths all that often to begin with being in separate grades. And then, there... there’s a small piece of me that just wants to run. Run from everything I know. Because, I know you told me to quit with the self-deprecation, but Barb.” You have to pause to catch your breath and steady yourself. “I- I’m a lot more broken than I’m willing to admit. And I know you said that she just wants me to try, but... I’ve never been good enough, and I don’t want to fail her. I don’t want her to think that just because she’s my soulmate she has to stay when she could find someone less broken. I don’t want her to realize... to realize that there’s someone better out there after I’ve fallen in love with her. And? And with my luck, there would be some sort of glitch in whatever system is in place, and our soulmate situation wouldn’t work out.”

Barbara goes to speak, but you press forward anyways. “If another person leaves me after I give them everything I'm not gonna make it. I barely made it last time.”

There is a tremor in your last sentence that causes Barbara’s heart to break. She has a million questions to ask, but she knows she can’t. All she does is reach across the couch and grab your hand.

“My sweet girl, those are all valid feelings,and I'm not going to sit here telling you love is easy. When I met my Ger I thought I was…well let’s say I thought a lot like you, but he showed me what true unconditional love felt like. He continued to choose me every single day- even when I was angry, depressed, cruel- he chose to love me even when I wasn't myself,” Barbara explains with a hint of tears forming. “What I'm trying to say is that love is an active choice- one that you and Melissa are going to have to choose every day- no matter what is going on. If I know anything about my work wife, it’s that when she opens up to someone- truly loves someone- she loves with her whole heart. I have not seen or heard her talk about someone the way she talks about you. Even when she wasn't the kindest to you, she couldn't stop mentioning how beautiful you looked, how amazingly you taught, how kind you are. She is absolutely smitten with you, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.”

You keep your hand firmly in Barbara’s as you admit, “I think I'm falling for her.”

Melissa attempts to read one of the books she got with you at the bookstore but the words swirl around until she feels a headache forming. This was not how she thought your first date would go- hell she didn't think this is how meeting her soulmate would go at all. And all she wants is to be with you. It’s as if the moment she saw your tattoo she became attuned to every emotion, want, need that flowed through you. Her body physically aches with how much she misses you.

She admits defeat by putting down the book and going to the kitchen to cook dinner in hopes it will calm her nerves. She moves in autopilot throwing together ingredients purely off of instinct. When the meal is done, she wants to take it to you but she is terrified. Melissa thinks about calling Barbara to talk her down when her eye catches on a new picture she didn't notice before.

You are curled up on the couch the turtle Melissa made you pressed against your chest. She can already hear your soft snores playing on repeat in her head. She hadn't meant to take the picture but now that she sees it? There is no deleting it. Instead, she sets it as her home screen photo, leaving the one of her and Barb as the lock screen. It means losing her Eagles photo, one that she hasn't changed in years, but she wants to see your face every time she opens her phone.

Fuck she needs to see you right now.

She grabs a container of food off the counter with her keys and sets off. All she wants is you. All she needs is you.

It’s been a while since you and Barbara had talked about Abbott, and you’ve come to a decision as to what you’ll be doing. Now, the two of you are lounging on the couch. It’s warm and comfortable, and you don’t know that you’ve felt this maternal pull towards anyone before. Barbara feels like home to you in an entirely different way than Melissa does, but still home. And because you’re so at ease, you do begin to doze. Your head slowly falls to her shoulder.

“Oh, sweetheart,” the kindergarten teacher coos gently. “Sweet girl.”

You have half a mind to lift your head with a blush. But she’s radiating such a warmth that you can’t quite find it in you to remove yourself from next to her. And before you know it, you’re asleep.

Barbara stays. Of course she does. She doesn’t move- doesn’t want to disturb the rest that you so clearly need. She never moved when Taylor or Gina needed her, and she certainly isn’t going to move on you.

Barbara sits quietly with you, half watching the television, half keeping an eye on you. Your soft snores fill the room, and she notices when you shift. In your sleep, you reach for the turtle plush beside you and then put yourself in a laying position- your head in your work mother’s lap.

The kindergarten teacher gently brushes a few stray hairs out of your face, and she smiles. She pats your cheek gently before turning her attention back to the television. 

At some point, Barb must fall asleep too, because you’re both jolting awake at the sharp knock on your front door some time later. 

Melissa sees Barbara’s car before she sees anything else that puts a pit of anxiety in her. Did something happen to you? Are you okay? Those are the only questions that run through her head as she pounds against the door. 

You answer by the third knock, eyes still bleary from sleep. The sight of the redhead standing at your door gripping a tupperware container has a smile spreading across your face- this was exactly just like the dream you had woken up from. Melissa’s anger lessens slightly at your sleepy face but quickly ramps back up when she notices Barbara slowly getting up from the couch. 

“Are you okay?” She asks immediately, scanning you from head to toe.

“Yeah I just…I needed some time to think.”

“About us?” She questions with a sharp bite in her tone. 

You shrug not daring to meet her eyes because you know there is going to be anger laced there. “That and some other stuff.”

“If you want to talk about us then maybe I should be included in the conversation,” Melissa snaps and immediately regrets it as your face darkens.

“You mean like how you should have told me you were fucking married before?” You don’t even care that the question comes out more as a snarl.

Melissa turns to glare at Barbara. “You fucking told her.”

“In my defense,” Barbara replies with her arms raised, “I thought you had already told her.”

Melissa’s expression softens to one of shame for only a moment as she turns to you. “I was gonna tell you, I promise.”

You don’t even get a chance to respond before Barbara replies, “Well you didn’t.”

“Can you just butt out of my relationship for once in your life, Barb?” Melissa snaps, stepping inside your apartment. “I am so sick of you always sticking your nose in my love life- it never works.”

Barbara crosses her arms preparing for a fight, “This time it involves my daughter. I am going to do what is best for her.” 

“You aren’t her real mom,” Melissa says, and a quiet hush falls over the room. Instantly she knows she has made a mistake. 

Barbara looks embarrassed, her eyes already welling with tears. You stand with your hand still on the front door, your face instantly dropping. You move around Melissa and refuse to look at her, which only causes a pit to grow in the redhead’s stomach. You place a gentle hand on Barbara’s back, rubbing gently to soothe her. 

“My mother is dead…well at least I’m dead to her,” you say, still refusing to look at Melissa. “She disowned me when I came out. I haven’t talked to her since.”

“Shit I’m really…” “Stop fucking apologizing,” you grit through clenched teeth. “I am so sick of you saying sorry all of the time.” 

“I think maybe we all need to sit down and talk,” Barbara says, grabbing Melissa’s hand and yours before pulling you to the couch. 

Barbara sits in the middle, letting you and Melissa fall on either side of her.

“So,” Melissa drawls out. “Where should we start?”

“How about with the fact that you were married?” you bite out.

“I-“ the redhead nods. “I was married. A long time ago. I was young- right out of college. I was dumb. We both knew we weren’t soulmates, but we got along fine… until we didn’t. The weight of knowing we weren’t soulmates took its toll on us. I finally got the courage to leave once I started working at Abbott.”

“How long were you married?” you inquire. 

“Three years,” Melissa sighs, and she fiddles with her fingers. “Three years too long.”

“Does he still live around here?”

At her nod, you tense just slightly. Just another skeleton in the closet to add to everything already swirling in your mind. You force yourself to maintain a neutral face.

“But he and I, we’re amicable now. We share a timeshare down at the shore, and we share season tickets to the Birds and the Phils. I- I’d like t’take you to a few games… if you’d want to.” She’s nervous. You can tell.

You nod again, quietly. Your face is still as neutral as possible. And then your voice shakes as you ask, “When were you going to tell me? Why did I have to find out through Barb?”

“Well, I was going to tell you tonight over dinner.” She gestures to the Tupperware now sitting on your coffee table. “Was gonna tell you after what happened this morning. Figured I should just put it out there. But… that didn’t necessarily work out the way I wanted.” Green eyes glare at her best friend.

Barbara, for her part, just sits quietly. There isn’t anything she can say right now.

“Listen,” Melissa grumbles. “I know you don’t mean to, Barb. But we gotta figure out boundaries here if this is how our relationship is going to work; with you bein’ my best friend and Y/N’s mom. We’s gonna work it out, but you can’t always stick your nose into our business. It ain’t gonna work if we keep letting this happen.”

“I hope you know how truly sorry I am Melissa; it was never my intention. I will do my absolute best not to overstep again,” Barbara sighs. “I’ve watched you fall in love with her all school year, and seeing you two fight is killing me.”

“You are going to have to let us fight,” you mumble. “How are we ever going to work through things if we don’t have the chance to try?”

Barbara nods solemnly, “I know…maybe I should leave you both for the night- let you figure out some stuff.”

She goes to stand but stops. “Would you be interested in maybe a double date with me and Gerald this week? Some place we could all just relax and talk.”

Melissa goes to say yes, the words already on the tip of her tongue, but she stops herself to look at you. There is a pleading look in her eye. However she defaults to you, waiting for you to answer for her. It melts your heart because you know Melissa is always the one to make choices, and here she is letting you choose instead. 

“That sounds like a great idea,” You smile and see the relief wash over the redhead’s face.  

Barbara hugs you close, kissing your forehead as she gathers her stuff. Her work wife offers to walk her to the car, leaning over to kiss your cheek gently before walking out the door. You feel a tingle in the small portion of skin that her lips brushed and there is a tiny part of you that thinks: I could get used to this. 

You grab the tupperware containers, plating them while you wait for Melissa’s return. It takes longer than you think, and you wonder what the work wives have started to talk about just as the door opens. Melissa’s eyes are filled with unshed tears as she makes her way to the kitchen. She tries to smile at you but the attempt is pitiful.

“I can heat it up mi amore,” she says, reaching for the plates. 

You step in front of them cutting off her path, “Are you okay, Mel?”

“Yeah.. I just…Barb and I were talking and… I don’t know” Melissa shrugs. “I still feel like I’m doin’ everything wrong by you.”

“Would it help to know that I feel the same way?” You ask with a small laugh. “It’s complicated, but I’m willing to try and make it work as long as I have you… and the amazing food you make me.”

Melissa laughs at this and her eyes finally soften back to their normal green, “Could I have a hug? I know it probably sounds stupid, I just need…”

You don’t wait for her to finish her sentence, just wrap your arms around her waist to pull her into you. Her arms automatically drape around your shoulders, and you feel her relax into you. Your fingers automatically run through her hair and you expect to have your heart racing, but instead there’s a sense of peace that runs through you. It’s a feeling so unlike anything that you felt in previous relationships that you feel a pang of loss when she pulls away. 

“You ready to eat now mi amore?” She asks you, leaning in to gently kiss your forehead. 

You nod moving out of the way to allow her to heat up the food. As she moves around the kitchen she keeps looking at you like you may disappear before her eyes. You wonder how long it will take for this anxiety to go away, for her to look at you like a person that might stay, but you realize that you haven’t given her any reason to believe it. It isn’t something that you’ve ever tried before either- staying when everything in your body tells you to run. 

When dinner is done, and you are back on the couch, Melissa is sitting next to you so close that your thighs are pressed together. She holds up the stuffed animal turtle, turning it in her hands. The older woman inspects every thread for wear and tear, only setting it back down in your lap when she’s sure that it is still in good condition.

“I thought you were going to throw it away that day I left it in your classroom,” Melissa admits. “I would have deserved it…but damn, I spent so long on it I would have cried.”

You run a hand over the turtle, “I was angry, but I could never throw away a turtle…they mean too much.”

Melissa grins and brushes aside your hair to reveal the turtle hidden behind your ear. Your breath catches as she stares intently at your soulmate tattoo; you are still so caught off guard by the movement that you have to stop yourself from slapping her hand away. Melissa doesn’t seem to notice how your face turns red as she twirls the end of your hair between her fingers. Her face is so close to yours that you feel hot breath across your lips causing your eyes to drift close.

“Can I kiss you?” Melissa asks in a strained whisper.

You nod too afraid that your voice will come out in a squeak. Melissa closes the distance, her lips pressing against yours. Her fingers curl into your hair and you gasp into her. It’s too much and yet not nearly enough all at the same time. By the time she pulls away, you are breathless, your hand fisted in her shirt. You don’t remember how it got there and you let it go gently watching as the fabric falls back against her chest. 

“You would look beautiful with your hair up,” She whispers before she leans back cupping your cheek gently. 

“Maybe one day,” you muse. “Tell me about your turtle tattoo… what made you get it? I know that we all have this uncanny sense on what to get- but turtles mean a lot to me- I was just wondering if they meant something to you.”

Melissa’s cheeks tint red. “Spent a lot of my time as a kid and teen at the shore. Always loved the little turtle trinkets there. But turtles also… I’ve always felt kinda like one- always tough on the outside, able to retreat back into my shell when I got to. Always kind of felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, but because I was tough I could handle it. I knew that I could shoulder it because… I might’ve only been eighteen at the time, but I was a lot wiser than some of my peers. Maybe not academically, but street wise. I’d be able to make it, or I’d die tryin’.”

You can’t help the small smile that appears on your face, although there is a trace of sadness to it.

“Me too,” you whisper, and you take the initiative this time to kiss her. “I’ve always had to know how to protect myself, and when I couldn’t… I’d hide… like…” you trail off, not sure if you want to delve into this topic so soon. And you know emotions are high, so maybe it isn’t the time.

But the redhead urges you on silently.

“I- the day I let loose on you,” you start with embarrassment laced in your voice. “I told you about my mother. And the exes- at least to some extent. And uh…” You rub your upper arm to provide yourself with comfort- a nervous habit of yours.

“Hey,” Melissa tuts softly. “We don’t gotta talk about it right now if you don’t want to.”

“I never want to talk about it,” you sigh. “But maybe now’s the time.”

Your soulmate nods, but then she assures you, “If you need to stop at any time, you can. I ain’t ever gonna push you to do something you don’t wanna do.”

You give her a weak smile before glancing down at your lap. “My mom always treated me like I wasn’t enough- to the point that she told me it was a mistake I was ever born. My childhood was not a happy one. There were times I thought that running would be best. I never had the courage to do it- had the wisdom to know that I couldn’t carry the weight of the world on my shoulders- not that young anyway. That was before I even came out. And then I came out. And… and it wasn’t pretty. That night ended with me in the hospital.

My exes weren’t any better. 

Kiara, the high school girlfriend, was the reason I ended up having to come out to my mother. Told everyone at school, and I thought that maybe if I told my mom before she found out through the grapevine, it’d be okay. Clearly, I was wrong.

Jess… Well, you met her. She essentially did the same thing, but at work. And everybody turned their backs on me. So, not only did I lose my girlfriend, I also lost my social circle, and eventually my job.

And then… and then I ended up at Abbott.”

“You did,” Melissa smiles softly. “Uhm… have you made a decision on what you’re doing next year?”

You fiddle with your fingers before you reply just as quietly, “I am going to stay. I emailed  Ava before Barb and I fell asleep.”

Melissa can’t help but crush you into a hug. “Thank god, I don’t know what I would have done without you. I can barely go a couple of hours without seeing you, much less a whole school year without you? It crushed me.”

“I think you should know I am still terrified,” you admit softly. “But I wanted to stay for Barb, for the kids… for us.”

“I know,” Melissa says, brushing your cheek gently. “You have every right to be scared, but I promise you that I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that you don’t regret staying at Abbott..regret staying with me.”

Her voice wavers at the last part revealing the anxiety underneath. You instinctively lean into her palm causing her to smile. She rubs her thumb gently down your cheek. “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”

“I hope so,” you whisper.

Suddenly all of the emotions are too much, too big, and overwhelming. You need something to distract you- anything to take your mind off that little voice in the back of your head- the one reminding you that this is all going to crash and burn. 

“Did you wanna watch a movie?” you say turning towards the TV. 

“Of course, mi amore. Anything for my beautiful girl,” Melissa says, wrapping her arms gently around your shoulders to pull you in. 

Your cheeks blush at her words as you settle into her side. The turtle stuffed animal gets tucked in between you. You wrap your arm around her waist letting your fingers curl into her shirt. She kisses the top of your forehead gently as the movie starts. You try your best to stay awake, but the day weighs heavy on you, and the feeling of Melissa’s hand rubbing gently up and down your arm forces you to drift to sleep.

Melissa notices the way your breathing begins to even out. She lets her eyes wander over to you, and her heart melts. You look so at peace. And she knows that you’ve stated that you have trouble falling asleep with people around. So the fact that you’ve drifted with her makes her feel even more special; like this might just work out.

Just like you had with Barbara, you end up shifting in your sleep. You clutch your turtle, you lay your head in your soulmate’s lap, and you begin to snore ever so slightly. It’s endearing to Melissa, and she can only focus on you now- no longer can she pay any attention to the movie.

As the credits begin to roll, you wake up from your nap. Stretching, you let out the smallest yawn. And then you realize what you had done. Pink settles into your cheeks, and you quirk your lips to the side.

“Sorry,” you whisper as you fix your hair.

Melissa just gives you that sweet smile, one of pure love. “Nothin’ to apologize for, hun.”

You go to ask her to stay because it is the first time in a long time that nightmares haven’t clung to your sleep, but before you can ask Melissa is already standing to leave. She leans down to kiss you gently on the forehead. 

“I love you, mi amore. I’ll call you when I get home.”

You only nod too many words stuck in your throat for a response as you watch the redhead leave your apartment.

Your body, even though you hadn’t set an alarm, wakes up just a little past seven in the morning. And when you roll over to attempt to go back to sleep, you remember: you’re supposed to meet Melissa for a breakfast and coffee date at eight.

You shoot up out of the couch forgetting entirely that you had fallen asleep on the phone with the redhead. It’s a race to get ready, and as you exit your house, the smallest sliver of doubt creeps into your body. What if this all goes horribly wrong?

There’s a part of you that wants to text her and tell her that you have to cancel. But before you lose your nerve, you exit your apartment, lock the door behind you, and stroll down the road towards your favorite little cafe.

Melissa is already there when you walk in. And she looks... she looks gorgeous. She looks absolutely stunning, and you can’t believe that she is your soulmate. Her eyes trail to you immediately, and then she’s out of her seat and making her way over to you- a hand outstretched.

“Hey,” you say, a tint of red in your cheeks.

Those green eyes light up. “You look beautiful.”

That compliment doesn’t diminish the blush. “You do too.”

She pulls you towards the counter gently, and you can’t deny the fire lit in your stomach.

“Y/N,” the barista greets you warmly. “Your usual?”

“Please,” you request with a sweet smile.

Melissa can’t help but look at you curiously. “What would your usual be? Just so... just so I can catalogue that for later.”

You go to speak up, but the barista chimes in, “Vanilla latte with oatmilk... Are you ready to say yes to me yet?” 

Green eyes narrow, but you’re quick to shut down that question. “Actually, Dani, this is my soulmate... Melissa.”

Melissa’s jealousy doesn't settle at the word soulmate but her heart does melt just a little bit. Her fingers curl through yours in a possessive gesture, but also the redhead uses it to ground herself. There is still a part of her deep down that thinks you may bolt at any second. You just continue to hold her hand, and you squeeze it gently- a silent promise that you’ll be there for her. It is as if you can read ever thought she attempts to bury under her stone cold expression.

“Oh,” the barista gives somewhat of a disappointed smile. “Hey, congratulations.”

“Thank you,” you smile shyly. “I- I’m very happy.” You say this to make the redhead next to you a bit more calm, but you can feel the way that she continues to try to grip your hand.

“That’s amazing,” the barista says quietly. Then she sighs, and she asks Melissa what she wants. The second grade teacher answers with perhaps a bit more of a bite in her than she had either expected or wanted. 

The barista prepares your drinks silently and hands them over. And when you go to take a seat at your usual spot, Melissa freezes. You feel the way that her body tenses, and above that, you yourself can feel it in your own shoulders how tense your soulmate is. At that moment in time, it’s like your two bodies meld into one. Her pain is your pain. 

“She’s been trying to get with me since I first started coming here, but she isn’t my type,” you assure Mel, reaching out your hand to circle through hers again. 

A shy smile appears across Melissa’s face. “Then what is your type?” 

“Oh you know… little bossy, great with kids, sarcastic, great sense of humor,” you giggle. “Would you like me to continue?”

Melissa feels the blush before she can stop it. “I think I’m gettin’ the idea.”

The redhead seems to relax then just a little bit, but you still see the occasional glare she gives the barista from time to time. You kind of enjoy not being on the other side of her dirty looks for once. 

You expect there to be awkwardness because besides last night, this is the first time that you have ever actually spoken to Melissa- well, talked without her making fun of you. You realize for the first time how nervous she actually is- terrified to say the wrong thing- scared to let down the armor she has so carefully constructed to keep her safe. 

“Tell me how you got into teaching,” you say as you curl your hand around your coffee cup. “Barbara says it was quite the journey, and I would love to hear about it.”

Melissa’s face turns into an instant smile as she begins her tale. You get lost in the story- how she tells it with exaggerated hand motions and her eyes sparkling with the love that she has for teaching. You don’t know how much time passes, but honestly you don’t care; all you want is for her to keep talking to you. However, when she reaches the end of her tale she looks down at her lap, clearly embarrassed.

“Sorry hun. I realize I’ve been talkin’ your ear off. I get a little carried away sometimes and don’t realize when I should shut up.”

This is when you realize that this is what Melissa has been taught her whole life: that she should be seen but not heard, her passions minimized, to make room for the people deemed to be more important. You reach across the table and move a strand of hair behind her ear without even thinking, almost as if you have done it a hundred times before, and Melissa’s breathing stops entirely. 

“Don’t do that,” you say gently. “I could listen to you talk all day and never get bored. You don’t have to apologize for getting carried away... not with me.”

Melissa’s cheeks burn as she tries to steady her breath, her hand squeezes around yours, and a little piece of her fixes at your words. “Damn hun. If I wasn’t in love before, I think I might be now.”

You laugh, sitting back down in your seat across from the redhead. A small realization hits you that a little piece of you is starting to fall too. You want to tell her, but then her face darkens, and the tension in the air rises. 

“Mel? What is it?” You ask, already scared for the answer. 

“So, this is the bitch you dumped me for.”

The voice from behind you forces you to jump in surprise, and you can feel a man’s presence before you can turn around.

“Gary,” Melissa practically growls out. His approach takes her by surprise. He had always played the nice, calm, cool, and collected man- never one to disrespect anybody, much less a woman. But here he is.

“Interesting how you go from complaining about her every day to looking like you want to fuck her in the bathroom.” 

“I…no..that isn't what I was thinkin’,” Melissa says in a rush, looking to you.

Embarrassment burns in your cheeks, and you pull your hand away from Melissa’s. Her face saddens, the intensity of the motion overtakes you, but you refuse to take it back. You knew Melissa probably talked about you behind your back during the school year- you just didn't think you would be reminded of it so soon, or by her ex-boyfriend of all people. You gather your things hastily, almost knocking over the table as you prepare to run. You don't even look at Gary as you push past him- there is only one thought that runs through your mind: Breathe, don't let him see you crack.

Melissa is in a full blown panic as you rush away from her. There had been a single moment when she really thought that it could work -an opening in the cracks- but the light had been sucked away as quickly as it appeared. Melissa doesn't wait this time to run after you. She’s not going to make that mistake again. She launches out of her chair and grabs onto Gary’s shirt. Her fingers curl through the fabric as she pulls him close to her. A flicker of fear crosses his eyes as she stares daggers into him. He’s known that his ex-girlfriend has a temper, but he’s never been on the receiving end of it. Even when they were together, there was never any loss of temper from the redhead. 

“If you ever so much as look at her again, I will rip you apart. Limb by limb,” she growls. “Do we understand, you piece of shit?”

Gary only nods before Melissa shoves him backwards so hard he almost tumbles to the ground. She rushes from the coffee shop frantically looking for you. Her heels pound against the concrete as she chases after your disappearing figure. Melissa’s body will ache tomorrow; she’s sure of it. But she doesn’t care. She can't start this cycle all over again.

She doesn't go to grab you- learning from last time- instead, she skids to a stop in front of you. The sight of tears running down her face breaks her heart. 

“Mi amore…wait…let me explain,” she pants, frantically trying to catch her breath. She plants her hands on her knees and bends over as she attempts to regulate her breath again. 

You want to be mad, but the sight of Melissa struggling softens your resolve. You reach into your purse and pull out your inhaler. Placing it in her palm, you sigh out quietly, “Use this.”

Melissa presses the button inhaling deeply as you rub her back gently. Her breath returns in small segments, but you don’t leave- just let her steady herself against you. 

When she finally can breathe she looks at you, “He is such a prick. I'm so sorry. I never meant to…that should have never…fuck… I'm so sorry.”

“When are you going to stop apologizing?” 

The question catches Melissa off guard, and she doesn’t know how to interpret it. “Soon, I hope.”

You nod and then there’s silence that cloaks you- not the comfortable silence that fell in the coffee shop-a strained one from trying to figure out where to go next.

“There is a bookstore up the street I’ve wanted to check out,” you mention gently. “How about we start this date over and go there?”

Melissa knows she doesn't deserve this kindness- not after everything she has done and continues to do- but she is desperate for the chance to start again. “Lead the way.”

You hold out your hand, letting the redhead lace her fingers through yours. The redhead plasters herself against your side as you begin to walk. You squeeze her hand gently as you say, “So we’ve dated some real assholes, haven't we?”

“You could say that,”Melissa whispers, her thumb running across your palm. “I'm…”

“If you say sorry I swear to all that is holy, Melissa, I will leave right now.” You have that little smirk dancing on your lips, but your eyes glint with a seriousness. 

Melissa instantly snaps her mouth close. You pause for a moment looking at the redhead. You move her hair back behind her ear, and the motion still makes Melissa’s stomach flip. 

“None of those assholes ever deserved you, and they sure as hell don't deserve you apologizing for their actions now,” you say sternly. “We’ve all got baggage. Sure, I'm a little upset about what he said, but I'm not gonna give up after one shitty comment. I'm a lot stronger than you think.”

“I know, mi amore. I just…I don't know. I feel like I'm fucking everything up, and we barely just started. I don't deserve your kindness or your forgiveness. Shit, I'm positive I ain’t deservin’ of you. You are so beautiful, kind, caring, and…”

You silence her with a kiss- a gentle one to pull her out of her rambling and back to you. When you pull away you rest your forehead against hers. “You are worthy of the world and so much more, honey.”

That gets your soulmate to smile one of those soft smiles that’s reserved for very few moments.

The two of you walk quietly to the bookstore, and you have to admit that you’ve been eying up this place for a while. It has that aesthetic that you always adore- very botanical and chic.

Melissa is more than happy to walk with you through the aisles as you examine nearly each and every book you come across. It delights her to see that you’re so at ease, especially with what had taken place at the cafe.

“You see any book you want in particular?” the redhead asks you softly.

You turn a bit sheepish as you back pedal towards one of the self help books. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Melissa plucks it from the shelf, laughing. “I think we could both use this. What do you think?”

You shrug. “It’s not quite what I would really buy, but...”

“I’ll buy it,” the second grade teacher chuckles. “I think it might look good on our coffee table- you know, when we decide to move in together.”

You raise a brow, but you nod. You have the knowledge that she is indeed your soulmate, so moving in together, getting married, potentially having children... it’s all part of the life that you suppose you’ll have to be ready for at some point.

That smile that could light up all of Broad Street shines, and you can’t help but blush.

The two of you look at a few more books in the adult section before meandering over to the children’s section.

“I figure I could pick up a few more books for my little eagles next year,” Melissa shrugs. “You should too, for the incoming class of kinders you’ll have.”

You avert your gaze nervously. You still haven’t decided if you’re staying at Abbott to continue teaching kindergarten or not. Honestly, since that day where Melissa had her hand wrapped around your wrist, you’ve put your resume out to a few different places.

Your soulmate seems to sense your discomfort. “You’re still considering leavin’?” 

“Can we not do this? Not right now,” you whisper. “I- I just want to enjoy right now.”

Melissa can tell that this is something that’s been on your mind for a while, but you’ve requested not to speak of it. And so, she gives in to your quiet plea. The two of you look over a few books, and she grabs two before leading you to the checkout counter. 

Your eyes are solely on the red hair next to you, until a voice that you never thought you’d hear again startles you.

“Y/N?”

The voice of your ex- the reason you left your previous school.

Your eyes go wide, you can’t even stop the shock written on your face. “Jess.”

Green eyes narrow, and you silently shake your head, asking her not to say anything. Your grip tightens around the redhead’s arm ever so slightly as you attempt to focus on your breathing. This cannot be happening. First, you run into Melissa’s ex. Now, you’re facing yours. And all on the first date? This... this is a lot- even for you. Maybe you aren’t as strong as you had told Melissa just an hour ago.

A credit card is swiped, your books are practically thrown at you, and you exit the bookstore in more of a rush than you expected.

“Your ex?” Melissa asks you gently.

You nod, afraid that if you speak, you’ll crack. And you can’t crack. Not again. Not right now. You don’t think your body can handle another panic attack so soon after the last one. 

You’re not quite sure how you end up back at your apartment, or how long you’ve been there. All you know is that you’re safe- safe and hidden away from all of those lurking around the streets of Philly.

“I think,” you start, slowly. “I think maybe you should head out,” you tell Melissa.

Her brow lifts. “Hun, are you sure? You- you don’t seem like you’re okay right now.”

“I’ll be fine,” you grit out, much more ferocity and certainty in your voice than you’re truly feeling.

The redhead cocks her head to the side in a bit of shock, but she recovers quickly. “If you say so.”

You expect her to exit right away. She doesn’t. Instead, she leans in closely, kisses your temple, and mumbles out, “If you need me... I’m only one call or text away.”

And then Melissa slips out and onto the streets of Philadelphia, leaving you with your own thoughts.

You had run into both of your exes. They still reside in or around the neighborhood. It’s safe to say that with your luck, Kiara- your other ex, also still lives somewhere around here. And... and it’s too much. Maybe you can’t stay here anymore. Maybe you should just give up on your dream of staying in Philly and finding a happy and healthy life with your soulmate. Maybe...

Before you know what you’re doing, your phone is pressed up against your ear, and Barbara Howard’s voice is on the other end of the line.

“Sweetheart, I'm so glad you called,” Barbara smiles over the line.

“I can’t do this. Everywhere I look is pieces of my past…or Melissa’s. How are we supposed to build something new when the past is constantly dragging us back?” You mumble fighting down tears.

“Oh sweetheart…”

“You don’t understand, Barb,” you whisper into the phone. “My exes were awful human beings. I thought I could get past it, but when I heard her voice today I freaked out. I feel so scared all the time, and I don’t know how long it is going to take me to feel not scared,” you say in a rush. “What if it takes me years to get over this fear? Then Melissa is waiting around for... for what? I’m not worth it Barbara. I’m not.”

You hear the click of Barbara’s tongue and know the lecture is about to begin. “Cut that out right now, young lady. No one is expecting you to have it all together, especially not Melissa. You don’t think she carries her divorce around with her every day?”

“Wait, she was married?” you ask with a gasp.

“Well I… I thought… she hasn’t told you yet?” Barbara responds, clearly taken aback that you don’t already know this information.

“No..I had no idea,” you mumble unsure of how to feel.

 It would be easy to be upset that Melissa didn’t tell you, but you hadn’t necessarily been open about your past relationships either- sure, the redhead knows you’ve dated around and how they were assholes, but she doesn’t necessarily know the finer details of everything. After you figured out she was your soulmate, everything seemed to clog together and nothing you normally do in a relationship makes sense anymore. Either way, the new knowledge is something that creates a pit in your stomach. 

“I am so sorry you had to find out this way.”

“At least someone is being honest with me,” you snip. 

Barbara wants to argue, but she worries that she is going to put herself in an even messier situation. Her resolve only lasts for a minute before she says something else her best friend is bound to yell at her for, “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but she is scared too. Melissa has been shoved aside her whole life, always being chosen second, even when she puts everyone first. She doesn’t know how to open up to people but you…you have turned her whole life upside down. She isn’t asking for perfection, my sweet girl. All she wants is for you to try anyway- to figure out how to be scared together.”

The words swirl around in your head as you sigh, “I don’t really know what to say after a mom lecture- never really heard one before.”

‘Well get used to it sweetheart, but that was nowhere near what my Taylor or Gina has heard from me. I do not plan on going anywhere.”

You say it before you lose your nerve, “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you so much, baby,” Barbara replies and you can practically imagine the way she is beaming at you. “Do you want me to come over? We can spend a little mom and daughter time to get you out of your head.”

You almost say no, already exhausted from how long this day has been, but a part of you softens at the thought. “Yeah that sounds great, do you think you could bring me some chocolate though? I need it after this crazy ass morning.”

“If that’s what you want, that’s what you’ll get,” the kindergarten teacher smiles gently. “I’ll be over in a little bit, dear. Hold tight.”