dumb bitch trauma whore @sivkpervmilk-chan - Tumblr Blog

there is a bitchy teenage girl in my head and I need to learn to trust her because she seems to have good ideas

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sleeping in the closet again because im starting to remember, but thats good because I have therapy tommorow.

I am not self diagnosing, I do find it very possible that I might have ASPD as I haven't been assessed for anything since I was 14 and I lied a shit ton on there.

anyways I feel like i have exceptions instead of favorite persons. well, not all the time. I swear I am different people.

"what did you ever do for me?" fucking bitch she didnt say that but im imagining she did in my head and now im pissed I gained 80 pounds so I wouldn't be smaller than her. because I didnt want her to get worse. I know she has her own stuff to do and I still love her but oh my god am I frustrated I am quite honestly losing my mind and she doesn't even hang out with me, let alone help with any of it.

two things can be true at once. she is causing a bit of emotional distress and i do wish she wss someonethat could help me, but overall I want her in my life and I respect the fact that she's not in a place to do it.

its hard talking to someone who feels emotions every single day. they cant really help me. talking about anything would cause them emotional distress, so I just keep it hidden.

I like socializing on that more shallow level, but i do often wish i had someone who wasnt that way.

#autism #dumb bitch #bpd blog #actually bpd #did osdd #mental health #childhood #journal #dbt skills #dialectical behavior therapy

#broislosinghismind #autism #actually bpd #menherablr #menhera blogging #journal #art #grippysockvacation #psychosis #psych ward

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I wish it was socially acceptable to ask people to hit you. also I wish it was socially acceptable to reach out to old friends and get them to participate in a survey about my behaviors at the time.

my head is a computer and I can put it on power saving mode

#autism

#autism #dumb bitch #bpd blog #did osdd #mental health

its like anytime I need anything, so does everyone else. and I patiently wait for my turn that never comes.

recently ive been compulsively scribbling and writing in my sketchbook. I dont want to. I dont think I have any controll over my body.

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im too scared and alone. I should just get really high and forget everything.

I want to tell people what is happening but since ive kept most of my life hidden and lied I cant...

sivkpervmilk-chan

I used to be such a fucking mess

blunder years

sivkpervmilk-chan

at this period of my life i called myself a real internet angel and I would post everything i did online untill someone on reddit found and called my school and then got me sent to the psych ward for 2 weeks...

#bpd blog #did osdd #mental health #psychosis #psych ward #jiraiblr #menherablr #menhera blogging

I used to be such a fucking mess

blunder years

#autism #actually bpd #bpd blog #did osdd #mental health #childhood #menherablr #menhera blogging #jiraiblogging #jiraiblr #jirai lifestyle #larp larp larp sahur #journal

dude im probably fucked most of my personality and behaviors nowadays are so fucjing similar to Dalai Osama and I think I blame the amount of times I rewatched it when I was 14 and having alot of symptoms a similar thing happened when really into Garfield

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GOD WHY IS EVERY SECOND OF MY LIFE BOREDOM

okay 5 minutes ago I was so happy to be at home doing whatever and now I feel like i am in prison and nobody cares to go out and do things with me

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