008 / SISTER

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

So, I wanted to make this post for a while now. There is some issues I have to address in this post! I’ll be all over the place to be exact.

1. I just wanted to talk about my issues. I know I do post some really triggering or upsetting things that are just ooc things. I do have severe depression and anxiety. Sometimes it’s really hard for me to manage, and that also includes BPD. I get super self conscious, I dissociate a lot, I stress out a lot and I always feel as if I’m not good enough. Sometimes I just want to stop breathing and just leave for good. I feel like absolute shit sometimes and I’m filled with absolute guilt after making you guys care about me. I feel selfish as if I’m just using your words to fuel me. I really am trying to not post ooc things or really upsetting often so I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings or make them worry about me. I appreciate all of you and I just want you all to know I do cherish all the words you give me and I love each and every one of you. This website is amazing, where I can socalize and have fun with some friends. So this is just an apology for just being a bit spacey these past few days!!

if anyone follows me on @absrbs, you know that there was an issue with money revolving a mistake that my roommate made & it almost caused a lot of issues. he screwed up with the money that myself & my boyfriend (who is my third roommate) gave him and it got lost. we had to come up with more money to make sure that our rent was handled, but it caused some other issues.

those were settled, with the help of a lot of folk on here, we thought all was fine. until my landlord just emailed us & gave us this ultimatum. my boyfriend & i have no fucking clue what’s going on and it’s pissing us off because this is the second issue within a month… and, on top of that, apparently this isn’t my roommates first lapse when it comes to rent payment.

i don’t get paid until next thursday, my boyfriend gets paid next wednesday & the fuck up doesn’t get paid until next friday, which makes it ten times worse because this is his fucking fault. my boyfriend has $175, my roommate has $200, and i only had $100. my mom gave me $150 and that was a crunch for her. that’s, unfortunately, only $625 out of the $1200 needed. my roommate is scrambling to fix his shit and my boyfriend is trying to see what he can do. but i have no one else to ask and i can’t believe this bullshit is happening again.

i can only ask & see if anyone could help out. i’m ready to move out because this is ridiculous. i’m tired of the chaos in my life. when i think things are okay, shit like this happens. i shouldn’t be twenty-six fucking years old & struggling like this, especially when it’s not my damn fault. i’m sorry… i’m just stressed. i can make icons, i can make graphics as best as i can, i can sing, i can do whatever. i just would really appreciate some assistance, if you find it within your heart to do so. you don’t know how much it would mean to me. if you can’t, a simple reblog will mean more than you could possibly imagine. i just… yeah.

my paypal link is here. seriously, thank you from the bottom of my heart. i’m going to go drink myself into oblivion now while i figure out what to do next.