✧. ┊

he’s said that he’s not a good leader, during the first day of lifesteal season 8, which in of itself had gotten my attention, but what interested me more is the example he used to explain why.

as evidence, luigi cites the time when rek asked him if they could fight two maxed-out players with their current gear, saying that he “didn’t know what to do” when asked, before then restating that he’s a “horrible leader”. which is all well and fair— except that’s not actually true, because luigi did know.

when rek asks, luigi points out that “one hit from them’ll be like getting hit by a truck” and that “it’s going to be bad” to take that fight. and if you look at their situation, it’s an accurate, well-thought-out assessment. so then that begs the question: why did luigi use that as a example?

to me, it feels like there’s this disconnect between his mindset of “i’m a horrible leader and shouldn’t be making the calls” and luigi’s actual capabilities, and what seems to be bridging that is one factor: other people. luigi doesn’t seem to struggle with making decisions for himself— it’s making these decisions for everyone else that seems to weigh on him.

how luigi feels doesn’t have to do with the actual calls so much as the pressure of it. leading a team comes with responsibility, the knowledge that the choices you make matter. if you tell them to fight and they all die, that’s on you, and if you tell them to back off and they miss their chance, that’s your fault too. i think that’s what gets luigi in regards to leading. he doesn’t see it as just a pvp decision; luigi sees it as being responsible for the fate of the people who trust him, and that’s where luigi’s confidence seems to falter.

i think his position on lifesteal probably amplifies this some as well. he’s a new member to lifesteal and he knows it. and without all the experience that comes from being a long-time member, it’s naturally much easier to make a wrong call, even if you’re experienced in other similar servers like money smp; so being put in a position where he’s making calls for people who’ve known the server for years longer than luigi has likely makes the responsibility feel even heavier.

that lines up with another thing i’ve noticed about luigi, too. luigi seems noticeably quieter or more hesitant in established group conversations than he does one-on-one, or solely with his team. take the recent yungy stream where him and luigi were on call chatting: once zam joined and started to talk with yungy, luigi went quiet, then deafened. in these larger conversations, where everyone seems to already knows each other, he’s a lot more likely to hang back. and it doesn’t seem like a lack of things to say— it seems more like a reluctance to insert himself into an established dynamic.

as such, i feel like something that contributes to this is a sense that he’s intruding, also stemming from his status as a newcomer to the server who knows the lifestealers but doesn’t quite know them in the ways the previous members have all known each other for years. it’s the same way that his recent joining affects luigi’s opinion on calling the shots, as far as i can tell— it’s not just because he’s just a quiet person, or that he doesn’t have any opinions on what to do in this scenario or that scenario; it’s just that there are circumstances that are making him hesitate, and when they’re no longer in the picture, the hesitation isn’t, either.

that’s one of the reasons why it’s been so fun to watch him in tricky trio, to be honest. we’re only a week and so in, but compared to the very start of season 8, there’s so much less hesitation with him. it’s definitely not to the same level as it is when he’s talking with someone one-on-one, but with tricky trio, he’s noticeably more willing to jump into conversations, joke around, and speak his mind; not because his judgement suddenly improved, but because he seems genuinely comfortable around the people he’s with.

rek has never been one to care about status, title, conquest, or renown. for example, during decimation in season 3, his entire goal was plainly "to kill people." there's no content from his own perspective but from zam streams he's seen often killing the "weaker" players of the server, like mid, vortex, and cube twice. he wasn't doing that to prove himself as someone powerful, he was just killing people.

as another example: season 7. rek, unlike others on his team (cough sb), didn't really care about being recognized for the things he was doing. he didn't care about being praised for doing something "cool" or "auraful" in blowing up spawn with the osc, or regenerating the end portal, or defending the end. in fact, sometimes he wished for the opposite, where he was often times lamenting the fact that no one wanted to be around him due to not trusting him.

so rek's motivations for things have never been about "glory" in the sense of seeking renownment or praise for his accomplishments. i don't think that's changed this season, either. so i listened to how confused ash and zam were about "glory" being his reasoning, was like "yeah me too bro," and then i thought some more

i think it just comes down to the challenge of it all. rek is always doing something challenging, in and out of lifesteal: building a fully functioning calculator, doing crazy speedrun ideas, trying to monopolize netherwart, freezing and controlling the ender dragon. the harder and more out of his wheelhouse it is, the more exciting it is for him to take a stab at.

this season, it's fights. fights feel good and fun and challenging. he's constantly taking ones that are really not in his favor, and he says he wants to take more. he was volunteering to 3v2 leek and epax with woogie and jojo. like we all understand that's going to be a slaughter, right? and rek knows it too, but it's hard, and it's fun. he took the duel with woogie and didn't care at all that he lost because it was a good fight.

when rek says the thing about glory before jumping the gummyworms, he and yungy have this exchange:

REK: there's four. do we run that? 3v4? outnumbered fight? for the glory?

YUNGY: yeah, i just got out of range. if you wanna do it- i'm- i'm down for the glory. if you're down for the glory [rek speaks] i'm down for the glory.

REK: i'm down to run it.

he sees the numbers of this fight very logically: they're outnumbered, so they're disadvantaged. in his mind, it's a challenge. now is this true? who knows; i mean, the gummyworms were undergeared (though rek didn't know that) and also probably have less pvp prowess put together than tricky trio. but rek doesn't see it that way, so the objective truth doesn't matter to his perspective here. also, he considers himself MUCH worse at pvp than he really is, (he recently said to luigi during pvp practice that he's just "been getting worse and worse) so there's that to consider too as to how he could see this as a disadvantaged fight for his team

i think zam and ash don't see it that way. they see the reality of that situation much more clearly: they were hurting for gear, not at their strongest, and three strong pvpers who have been snowballing the rest of the server suddenly jump them without a word and kill them all. that's not disadvantaged. but rekrap is delusional i fear

1) yungy said rek is the leader of the team

2) he also said he feels bad about the gummyworms attack and says he only went in bc of rek

1) yungy said rek is the leader of the team

2) he also said he feels bad about the gummyworms attack and says he only went in bc of rek

Occasionally, other than red hearts, some beads of styles which have commemorative or team significance will appear or disappear.

When he makes large hand movements or unconsciously takes off the chain to play with it it makes the dragclick sounds.

NAA and MCSR wear fitness bands to constantly monitor their health status and time.