Sincerely, Fleur

Let's be honest here, we’ve probably all been hurt by someone we care (or once cared) about. Unfortunately, we can’t control or predict how someone else chooses to treat those around them, and that’s just life, but as people, we need to learn to take it in stride in a healthy way. First of all, let’s also preface this by saying that it is completely okay to forgive and NOT forget. However, in my opinion, forgiveness is less about the person who hurt you and more about owing it to yourself to let go of things that continue to trouble you. So, with that being said, here's my guide to forgiving and letting go.

Know that forgiving isn't justifying

First, please understand that forgiving someone for hurting you is not and will never be justifying their actions! Sometimes, people are cruel and can’t see the wrong in their actions or behavior, and most of the time, we can’t change that in any way. But, like I said before, forgiving someone is less about their actions and more about choosing to be at peace with yourself. The stress and hurt that comes along with holding onto a situation is no good, and the best thing to do is to let go once you are ready for that!

Feel your feelings!

It’s more than likely that you have a reason to feel this way, and one of the steps in making your way towards forgiveness is to feel all the feelings. Bottling up your emotions is far more unhealthy than most people realize (trust me, been there, done that). So, my next tip to you is to find a healthy way to express these feelings. Maybe it’s talking with someone who is close to you, writing about it in a journal, playing music, creating art or maybe it’s expressing it through some kind of physical activity, do it! Just remember to know your limits and when a hobby you used to express negative feelings begins to become harmful! Either way, all of these ways (and many more) are amazing ways to healthily express your feelings.

Acknowledge how this situation has changed you

This may be a more practical way of thinking about it, but every situation has changed us and shaped us into the people we are today. Every situation that hurts us will one day be looked back on as a lesson that taught us something important. Maybe this taught you to be more careful about who your real friends are, or maybe it taught you how to better hold firm in your boundaries. Either way, there is something to be learned from the experiences that have brought us trouble. Knowing that you are taking the steps to forgive but not to forget shows that you are willing to prioritize yourself over someone who hurt you. By doing this, you are essentially taking back power over yourself. Remember, we can’t control the actions of others, but we can control how we react to said actions.

A little reminder!

Learning to forgive and forget is not the smoothest sea to sail, but it helps you to become a more patient and disciplined person, as well as teaches you to become a more emotionally intelligent person!

I wish you well on your journey of forgiveness, and I hope you have an amazing day/night, lovelies!

Sincerely,

Fleur

(Divider credit: @thecutestgrotto )

Okay, so you look at yourself and decide that you’re ready to start making steps towards becoming a better version of yourself. So, what exactly are those steps that you can take? Well, here’s some of my biggest tips and steps towards becoming the person you have always wanted you be!

Get to know the person you want to become

The best way to do this is by asking yourself a feed questions like:

How does this person act?

How do the people around them treat them?

What’s their morning routine?

What’s their nighttime routine?

How does this person deal with problems/conflicts?

What are their goals and dreams?

What kind of life do they lead?

I know that those questions may seem pretty daunting to answer, especially if you don’t necessarily know all the answers to each right off the bat. But, this is one of the easiest ways to get to know the kind of person you will become and how to become them. Now, going back to if you don’t know the answer to those questions, you might want to sit down and think about what you think the answer may be. If you’re still having trouble, you may look at how the people you look up to handle those questions. For example, if I looked up to Audrey Hepburn I would think about how she would answer the question and I would draw inspiration from that in my own answer.

Make a vision board and some goals to go along with it

For those like me, oftentimes we need to see something to begin to understand and work towards it. So, go onto Pinterest or wherever you get your inspiration and aesthetic photos from and use Canva to create your vision board! Trust me, it’s super easy and fun to create your vision board on Canva. Personally, I always create my vision board around new years along with my new year resolutions, but of course you are completely free to make them whenever. In my opinion, you should also write down specific goals you want to accomplish. It is also proven that writing down your goals makes them 42% more likely to be achieved (via Dr. Gail Matthews from Dominican University in California.)

Make small changes towards becoming this person

My last tip for you today is to make small steps towards becoming this person, maybe you think of how they would talk or react and you begin to do the same, maybe you begin to eat how they eat, maybe you begin a self-care routine before you go to bed, or maybe you begin to act with a little more confidence than usual. All of these are great ways to start make small but intentional changes towards slowly becoming this person of your dreams!

A little reminder!

Making small changes towards becoming the person you want to be can be difficult at times, know that you may not always act like how they and that’s okay! You are allowed to continue to make mistakes and not always be disciplined because you are human and there is no way you can expect yourself to be perfect! Have patience with yourself and hold yourself accountable when you make mistakes.

Other than that, I hope you have an amazing day/night, lovelies!

Sincerely,

Fleur

(Divider credit: @thecutestgrotto )