simply pres

Walang wala ako sayo parang wala lang ako.

Ganito ba dapat?

Bumitaw ka nalang…

Nandito ba ako sa wala?

Laro ba to?

Ako pa ba to?

O sadyang, may kailangan pa ako?

Para maging para sayo.

Natatakot na ako.

Lumalalim pa to.

Magiging kasalanan ko ba?

Distance is a huge hindrance for me and you.

As long as you’re existing in my life for the moment.

I’ll make sure to make you happy for a couple times.

Genuine smiles from you brings out the best of me.

Someone told me that loving a person can make you or break you.

I’m honestly in the midst of it.

Doing the must to live and move forward on what tomorrow brings.

You and I, maybe meant or not.

At least, I will be more happy to see you on the top of the world that’s within your track.

Loving you is the best thing ever happened to me.

Do you hear this silence?

Is it irritating you?

Hi and hellos became a formality.

I love you’s became rare.

Conversations felt like a responsibility.

Do you think of me the way I think of you?

What are the chances that this causes me pain?

You got me all in my head.

I feel so stupid and worthless on your part.

I was so happy knowing you.

But now, it feels like another tragedy.

Keeping myself busy, wasn’t enough.

My heart kept barging your existence in my mind.

The duality of my feelings and emotions, fucks me up.

Drinking vodka tastes like water.

Coffee tastes better without sugar or creamer.

Smoking doesn’t hit the way it does normally.

Pampering myself doesn’t feel good.

My physique is under-appreciated by me.

Eating felt like an obligation.

Smiling is so hard for me.

What have you done to me?

I fucking hate being in love with you.

2/21/22

i fell for you.

i made a mistake.

i keep fixing this.

you made me feel this.

you have your rights.

you are valid.

in the end, please don’t make me feel or think that you make stay here because of the thought of me.

“her smile. her eyes.

tells me what’s in her heart.

her tears. her actions.

tells me where i should love her the hardest.

her fears. her doubts.

Days turned like a nightmare. Those nightmares you had, I bet it was like this too. Every night, every day… all I think is that… Did you eat? Did you smile? Did you sleep well? Did you had your fix of boba? What made you stand today? Those kind of questions.

Sometimes I kept thinking do you think of me too? Even I had my share of mistakes. I also realized why did I pursue you. Why do I feel too much care for a person in which that isn’t me. Is God making a way? I need definite answers. I really need answers. I have never been like this before and that scares me the most.