Having fun?

She’d returned home with no visible scars, just a slightly sprained ankle and dehydrated. Stopping by the hospital had been an obvious course of action, as walking on that ankle was actually quite painful once she’d left that meditative state of mind. Maybe that was when everything starting coming back, crashing down around her. The mission itself didn’t bother her, not even with the most high risk target there had been out there, no, but that terrifying place she’d entered so calmly, that scared her. Right there, right then, she would have done anything they’d asked of her. Kill Alrena? No problem, just another job. Being so truly mindless, just an extension of the sword that brought down the blow, made her want to curl up in her bed and never leave again. But alas, she did. Because this was her home, her family, and she would serve them ‘til the end of her days.

But the field scared her, terrified her even. She didn’t want back out there, where she could fall into that trance again. No, for once, she wanted to stay in the city and help out with interrogations, gather information, recruit spies, even do paperwork! Anything to help out in a way that didn’t involve sneaking around in the shadows of the night, waiting to dip her dagger into blood, sliding it smoothly through soft skin. The first week, she spent in a hospital bed, answering the same questions over and over again, just from the different representatives from different parts of the government. After a while, she started thinking about changing things, giving different version to cause some trouble, but a vision of Lena’s annoyed and disappointed face quickly killed that line of thought. In the end, she requested for the nurses to put a stack of papers containing the most detailed report she ‘d ever written outside her room, as to defer any further inquiries. Considering her next guest turned up five days later, bringing flowers instead of questions, she considered it at least a partial success.

She got better. Her ankle healed, after they reset it to heal properly, all while glaring at her, as if she intentionally set it so it would heal wrong. The hospital personnel kept a close eye on her, as if expecting her to slip out at any moment. At least some things stayed the same. In the state her world had been in the last year, constantly turning one way and the other, revealing new secrets and burying old ones, it was almost calming, in a sense, to find something that had remained static through all this motion. Even if it was the hospital personnel.

They set a day on which she could be considered fit for duty. Even marked it down in red on the calendar next to the door, and starting a countdown and the end of her bed. Perhaps they fought she would be happy to be free of the “shackles”, as she used to call any and all hospital equipment. Perhaps they wanted to show how happy they were to get rid of her. Simone wasn’t entirely sure, and not motivated enough to find out. Instead, she explored the growing feeling of anxiety, of worry for the future. They hadn’t said what was in store for her once she got up from the bed, which implied it was back to the usual routine of slipping in and out of battle zones, with or without back up. She shouldn’t mind. It was what she’d spent the last years doing with glee, but now, she found herself at war with the sensation of fear threatening to overtake her mind.

It got to the point where she’d half a mind to “accidentally” fall of the bed and break her arm, or something, anything so she didn’t have to make that damned decision. The countdown was at five, and she’d gotten a notice from her person armour maker, asking if she needed any parts replaced. It sat on the stand next to her bed, taunting her. She was probably going to get a similar one from the special armoury, the one keeping daggers and scimitars that could easily be hidden beneath a skirt, within the next 48 hours. To say she wasn’t looking forward to it was an understatement. Then, that person entered her room. The one with the turquoise coloured hair, now with dark blue stripes, and that grey coat which no one looked good in. They hadn’t changed much in the months between their last meeting, which was rather strange. During the period they worked the closest, they used to switch styles at least once a week. Perhaps they finally had found one they liked, but somehow she doubted it.

A nod was the extent of the greeting she got. She responded in kind, grateful for the lack of pleasantries and small talk. “The Simone I used to know would’ve been out here at least a week ago.” They stared at her, unblinking. She smiled. “The Azariah I used to know would care less about my state of mind, and more about the state of the equipment I brought back.” They snorted, waving a hand. “I got that like a month ago. Top 10, but not top 5. But that’s not why I’m here. I’m here because a little bird told me you’re not too eager to get back onto the field.” They raised a thin eyebrow, as direct as usual. Simone tensed, raising her guard. “So what?” They shrugged, turning around to stare at the calendar. “So I have a project which needs testing and a yellow magician, who’ll remain in almost stasis for at least a month.” Her eyes thinned, trying to read their state of mind from their posture. “Project Drifting.” They turned their head towards her, a thoughtful expression on their face. “Well, yes. You in?” 

Once upon a time, she woud have laughed and thrown the closest object towards them. Once upon a time, she would have given them a straight no. Once upon a time, she would have asked for time to consider. Now, she simply nodded. They smiled that weird smile of theirs. “Fantastic. I’ll go and tell the nurses to set you up. Once they’re done, you can start whenever you feel like it.” 2 hours later, she slipped out of her own mind, and touched down softly into one of the nearby nurses. He didn’t even notice her, not without training and her cloaking presence. She followed as they moved out of her room, and quickly bounced her way onto Azariah. They smiled to her, before directing her to their mental file of a prisoner/patient kept in medically induced coma, as he was deemed to unstable. She hummed to herself, barely resisting the urge to flip through their memories before bouncing off again.

That’s how she spent the next period of her life. When drifting, things like keeping time was both difficult and unnecessary. If days or weeks had passed, well, it wasn’t of her concern really. Since neither Azariah or one of the head doctors had tried to contact her, bring her back to her own body, it seemed that she was doing just fine physically. Mentally, well, those problems would eventually come later. Magically, it had taken her a while to find a balance, but now she smoothly floated from on mind to another, picking up bits and pieces of their thoughts on her way. When there wasn’t anyone Azariah wanted her to dig through, she entertained herself with the gossip around the hospital, who was sleeping with who, and who had stolen whose lunch again. Sometime, maybe after a week, some agent from a justice part of the government came along, asking for her help with victims and suspected criminals who couldn’t communicate on their own. She helped out when she could, and felt like it. Not that the suit would ever know that.

The battle and Landon Fields started and ended. She knew by the doctors leaving and the soldiers returning through the hospital doors. It wasn’t a new sight to her, hadn’t been for a long time. Didn’t really touch her. Then, a very familiar face was rushed in through those doors, and all hell broke loose.

Orractous, Orractous Darfoe. Her frenemy, her rival, her confidant. The one she picked fights with and the one she protected. She didn’t think the day she saw him unconscious on a hospital bed would ever come, yet here it was. She followed the panicked horde of doctors and nurses as they rushed through the halls, wondering what trouble he’d gotten himself into this time. Expected him to groan, to wake up and complain at any moment. Yet, that moment never came. Instead, the word “coma” was repeated again and again and again.

No, no, no! It couldn’t be! Not Orractous, not one their strongest, not him. Her screams tire through the minds of the people around his bed, some covering their ears, flinching. It didn’t help of course, not when the screams where in their minds. One of the doctors also in charge of her waved a hand in the air above them. “Get out! Stop it! Go away!” The words left his throat in a roar, sending her bouncing away through hospital until she reached her own body, diving straight in.

It felt weird, being in control of her motorly functions once again. It took a couple of seconds to remember how to open her own eyes, rather than make someone else’s eyes open, but like riding a bike, basic functions was something that you never forgot. The hospital had done a great job at keeping her muscles from losing to much mass. She wasn’t as strong as she’d been, but still strong enough to sit up and start tearing at the tubes connected to her skin. Some alarms went off, beeping out of sync with each other. She didn’t care. Nurses rushed in, trying to get her to calm down. She didn’t care. Pushing them away with weak hands, she got up from the bed, uncaring of her naked feet and the flimsy hospital gown. She probably wouldn’t make it across the room in this state, but at the moment, she couldn’t find it in herself to care. 

The hike had been uneventful, the only sound being their footsteps and the occasional command. Usually there would be jokes and insults flying back and forth through the air, but this wasn’t one of the usual missions. The silence echoed the gravity of the mission, just like the small team did. There were no soldiers here, no handlers, no one whose role wasn’t of vital importance to the mission itself. Simone barely remembered ever reading about such an operation, never mind actually participating in one. If they succeeded, they would be a part of the history books. If they failed, their graves would be unmarked ones.

To be honest though, hers would probably end up as that anyways.

They’d made it into the city without hassle, managing to pass by the patrols and drunk civilians. The setting was like any other, just as the smell in the air and flickering lights framing the streets. Yet, the atmosphere was different. It was heavier, settling in her bones and blood, triggering a surge of adrenaline and that oh so familiar mindset. Colours were dimming, the world itself slowing down. Signs and movements stood out like bright lights in the darkness, and every sound hit her ears three times louder than they should. Everything that wasn’t important just faded into the background. It was the mindset of an assassin.

It was an old, familiar sensation. She still remembered the first time she’d entered this state of mind, or well, the hours after when the last adrenaline had faded from her system, allowing her to think clearly. She’d been young, fresh, green and terrified. It wasn’t until another agent, older, more experienced, had sat down and explained it to her that she’d stopped trembling. Now, she welcomed the sensation, the focus, the thrill. It meant that she still got it, she could still play this game. After what had gone down, this was the boost she needed to get back on her feet. Well, not this exactly, but whatever, it would do.

One thing was different though; The depth. It was almost like when she watch from the mind of another, the vague, distant sensation. Like she was there, yet... not. Being a mind reader, it wasn’t a foreign sensation, and thus it didn’t scare her, but it was still a bit weird to experience that same feeling in a situation like this. It was like her body was moving by it’s own accord, going through the oh so familiar motions simply by habit. It felt like just a moments had past before they separated, and then she was entering the castle.

It was a labyrinth of halls, doors and rooms. Other people, servants, guests, officials, their footsteps echoed through the halls as their heels hit the carpet, the stone or the hardwood floors. A trained ear could distinguish the slight difference in the hard thumps of the guards, the determined ones of the ministers and the light feet of the servants. Simone’s steps were silent. It was like she wasn’t there, like she was a ghost haunting these halls. Perhaps she would be, at the end of this night or another. Preferably another, as this mission was kinda important, and she had the green treasure of the Cold North waiting outside.

Through doorways and shadows, she slowly circled towards her target. It was a bit hard to pin him down, she would give them that, but they would have to do better than this to stop an assassin of her caliber. The King was not wide awake, fortunately. He was already falling down into the world of dreams, slipping out of the real world. A little push to speed things up, well, who would ever know? A few quick steps, the flash of dagger, the sound of metal tearing through flesh. It all ended so quickly.

He never saw it coming.

She wiped her blade and hands on the fallen King’s shirt, before sheathing her weapon and exiting the room as silently as she’d entered it. He hadn’t screamed, hadn’t alerted any attention yet. That was good, very good. Gave her more time to get out before the chaos started. She rushed down the stairs, and found the nearest unlocked window. A soft smell of smoke lingered in the air. Someone had slipped away for a late night smoke. How lucky for her. gripping the frame with one hand, she swung herself out of the labyrinth, landing softly in the grass below. Shoving her hands into her pockets, she began walking a brisk, but controlled, pace a nearby house which looked fancy enough to have a horse or two on the premises.

It was simple enough to steal a bridle and start her journey towards freedom. She couldn’t return to Orractous or Orinda, it was way too risky. She was the hunted one, and it was easier to escape without some inexperienced magicians following her. No, from here on, she was on her own. 

The sun rose over the horizon, showering the lands in it’s soft glow. Simone never stopped, switching horses more than once as she continued towards nowhere. The place she was looking for was in constant motion, just like the people whom made up it’s ever shifting population. Luckily, she wasn’t rusty enough to have forgotten how to find it, even though the rules probably had changed a dozen times since she last visited. 

The town was small, and the shack that was the local inn looked like it may collapse at any moment. Tying her current horse to a tree, she pulled of her gloves and pulled back the hood. With a smile that spoken of elegant dangers and eyes still clouded, she waited for the door to open as some straggler finally made his way home, and slipped inside without a sound. A couple of steps, and she was leaning on the bar, tapping her left pinky twice. The bartender turned around, looking quite startled, but the look in his eyes told her that he’d once been on the other side of the bar. He glanced down, catching the glint of metal at the tips of her finger. Their eyes met, and he tipped his head to the right before pouring her a glass of water downed gin and cherry juice. As he put it down, her turned it ever so slightly. “Seen any bears out there miss? Heard them stalking around during the night.” Simone tapped her dagger, before downing the drink and shoving some coins over the counter. They both nodded, and she set of to follow the map he’d given her.

It took her three days to get there, using various methods of travel. She picked up some different sets of clothes along the way, as well as whatever they had in their pockets. 

It was terrifying. Going up and down, fading in and out of the deep, lonely space, never quite reaching the surface. Each sound, each movement had her ready to pull her dagger, even though she barely flinched. She walked the empty streets for weeks, spending her nights in beds and tables, alone and in embraces. Was it day or night? Had years or minutes passed? She wasn’t sure. It all blended together, unimportant details that was quickly thrown away when deemed useless. Sometimes, she wondered in the back of her mind if this was it, if this was the time she didn’t come back up.