“Vivir de recuerdos es morir.”

Most people know the common five (to seven) stages of grief: (Shock), Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, (Testing), and Acceptance. Everyone experiences these stages in entirely different ways. While you are grieving, many people will tell you something along the lines of: ‘Stay strong,’ or, ‘It’ll get better.’ While those are predictable and well-intentioned things to say in an attempt to comfort someone, they are not always true.

When I was younger, I experienced more than my fair share of grief – and, after years of reflection, I have come to understand that there is more to grieving than most people realize. I would like to share with you five things about grieving that I desperately wish someone would have shared with me:

1. We grieve for more than the dead.

Yes, the death of a human being is the most common source of grief, but it is not the only one. You can experience the whole force of grief for anything important to you.

You can grieve the loss of a pet. You can mourn for the loss of a sentimental object. The loss of a beloved place, or of any kind of relationship or connection. Nothing has to die in order for you to go into mourning. There can be grief for a friendship that has just drifted apart, or for the ending of your favorite book series. A home you have had to move away from. You can grieve for yourself. When you grow and change as a person, pieces can be left behind; old bits of personality and mannerisms that we can ache for all the same. Whenever something is lost – no matter what, no matter why – and it causes pain in its absence, that is grief.

2. ‘Just stay strong’ typically goes hand in hand with the denial phase of grief.

It is when you are told that despite all the terrible things happening to you, you must stay strong and overcome it. What is not said is that………………….