Oras

and would rather die

i still wonder how you're doing but i'm no longer dwelling on the fact that i won't know,

i also stopped thinking if you cared to think about me anymore,

i'm accepting that you and i are strangers again.

everything is up to you.

no one is there to misunderstand you or even judge you.

don't you dare accept the sick idea that just because you're good right now, something bad has to happen next.

the other shoe does not have to fall.

you do not have to crash.

evaluate and eliminate the self sabotage.

you are doing amazing already!

you're someone else's everything.

you're someone else's answered prayers.

and you can't meet the right person if you keep on going back to the wrong one.

but the story must go on—

our story must go on.

my name won't appear on your news feed anymore.

one day, you'll forget about my posts, my rants, my thoughts,

but do me a favor...

if that day comes, i want you to remember my name - i want you to remember me.

remember me as someone who tried their best to make you happy every single day; as somebody who is once the happiest out of every little thing that you do.

i might leave for good reasons

letting go is a hard thing to do, but it's worth it.

and most of the time we can only move on once we realize that there is no other way but to move on; there are no other options than that.

because if we don't do that, the pain that we are feeling will only cause us more damage and the only person that can feel that is ourselves.

so let's remind our hearts that there are no other ways but to move on and to move forward.

breaking up is okay.

moving on is okay.

being alone is okay.

changing is okay.

what's not okay is you staying somewhere where you don't feel appreciated, valued, and happy,

you'll continue to live and not notice it much. but maybe every so often it'll hurt again, and that's alright.

it's okay if you thought you had it all under control and then you break down. it's okay if you thought that you had it all figured out and then you freak out.

it's okay if you thought that you've already moved on and then one song, one movie, one place, one picture will bring back the memories that brought you pain before.

it's okay.

healing is messy,

but always remember,

sometimes our hearts and our bodies need more time understanding what the mind already knows.

i started being the boyfriend before i was ever the boyfriend, and i started being the husband while i was only the boyfriend.

and i allowed us to play house in a home that wasn't ours.