Sorry in advance

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

mafuyu loves her friends so so much

There is no victory in skipping dinner, or lunch, or breakfast, or morning coffee, or dessert.

There is no victory in refusing heaters and air conditioners and fans and heated blankets.

There is no victory in denying yourself sleep, or showers, or movement, or water, or a comfortable bed, or taking the elevator vs. the stairs.

There is no victory in refusing pain meds and heating pads and ice packs and medical help.

There is no victory in punishing yourself needlessly, in telling yourself that this pain you feel is because you are bad to the core and deserve it.

There is no victory in choking back your laughter and your tears, to keep an imagined equilibrium of safety that is really just a dry, cracked, empty, endless emotional desert.

You are here. You are in this body, and this body is yours. You deserve good things. You are alive, and that is messy and loud, and messy and loud are okay.

yeah I'm a former guy. yeah I found maleness restrictive and suffocating. and yeah I also never cared to learn makeup and even years later I still feel uncomfortable with skirts and cutesy clothing. I'm not really interested in trying hard to be overtly feminine. and yeah I would say some of my tastes and mannerisms are the definite result of my past. I think my self-image has been deeply shaped by my complicated history. I often feel that my presentation is adrift somewhere in the middle, entirely unmoored from defined terms or categories. i just do whatever I like.

but also?

the next time I post a selfie and somebody comments that I should "start an onlyfans already" I'm gonna really get mad.

I'm proud of my body, because I worked very hard to change it. but just because I like my body doesn't mean every picture I post is automatically sexual. that's something you decided. yes even if you can see my bra. it's a good looking bra. I'm proud of it. it's not sexual. it's there to hold my boobs.

I'm not titillating you. I am bragging about my chest size. don't conflate the two.